my boyfriend's brother is getting married out of state in acouple of months . i told him i wanted to go. he said no.i have known him and his family for almost 20 . him and i have dated exclusively on and off for 20 years also. he has never not wanted me to go to a family function.. what to do ?? his reason for not wanting me to go was that there maybe lodging problems: he doesnt know where he is staying ,, at a hotel or family house.
2007-08-21 10:02:36 · 21 answers · asked by Cali girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
no one can guarantee it, but it's more than likely that he is not telling you the truth!
2007-08-21 10:16:54 · answer #1 · answered by Monad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds awfully strange to me. You've been dating this man for 20 years, and he doesn't want you to be around his family? What is he, ashamed of you? I would never put up with this!
I bet lodging is not the reason. Was that the reason at all the other family functions? Doubt it!
You need to find out why.
2007-08-21 10:55:55 · answer #2 · answered by valschmal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lodging problems?? So offer to get a hotel/motel. That sounds like a pretty lame excuse to me and considering how long you have been a part of his life it could be 1 of 2 things.
1 he has another girl or a girl will be ther that he doesn't want you to meet.
2 his brother specifically asked that you not be there and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
I suggest you talk to you him to find out the real reason.
Good luck!
2007-08-21 14:31:15 · answer #3 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only he has this answer - and you may not like the answer, since usually a couple dating seriously or for a long time, know each other's families rather well. Lodging wouldn't be the problem, since you would just book your own hotel room, so that's not it.
2007-08-22 04:03:29 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar problem...or had I should say. It sounds like he could be embarrassed by you for some reason. Does his family even know about you? My ex's didn't and that's why I was never invited to functions. He may equate that with being more serious than what your relationship is, at least to him. Take this as a sign....he's just not that into you.
2007-08-21 10:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by First Lady 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, who have you been dating on and off for 20 years? your boyfriend or his brother, you are not being very clear about who you are talking about here. Secondly, if they don't want you to be there then there is nothing you can or should do about it. They have their reasons and all you need to know is that you are not invited, put up and deal with it. I am getting married soon and there will only be 11 people there including us, there are plenty of other people who want to be there but they are going to have to just be happy for us from a distance. That is just how we want it. Chances are the people you are talking about want things a certain way too, it is their day to do with however they like.
2007-08-21 10:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by Tzu 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you told him how it makes you feel to be left out? If this has been going on for 20 years, it's probably the way it's going to be for good. You have to decide if you want to do it his way or go out on your own and find someone who likes to show you off instead of hide you from his family.
2007-08-21 10:50:12 · answer #7 · answered by dfaithful1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if the brother did invite you, then you are not welcome to attend. It is quite common for out of town family to lodge with in town family and perhaps he feels it would be an imposition to bring you too. Which it would be if you were not invited and they had no idea you were coming. If you have been together for 20 years and he does not take you to family functions, it is time to reassess your relationship with him.
2007-08-21 10:18:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did his brother even give him the option of bring a date? Maybe his family is trying to save money and cut corners. Maybe he will be staying in his parent's room or with another groomsmen. I would just talk to him about it and tell him your hurt that he didn't ask you do go.... This happen to me once and I it turned out the bride and groom DIDN'T give anyone dates to save a few dollars!!
2007-08-21 10:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
a advantageous picnic basket with plates, wine glasses, silverware, napkins and an comparable tablecloth. incorporate a bottle of champagne or advantageous white wine. I even have stumbled on a present like that helps newlyweds recapture the honeymoon feeling. All they could desire to do is p.c.. up fruit and cheese or regardless of and that they are waiting for a stolen afternoon!
2016-10-16 09:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is married, another girlfriend,m or does not really consider you a partner or someone he wants to explain. That seems very out of line for someone you have been with for 20 years.
2007-08-21 10:07:17 · answer #11 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋