some of you are going to think I am absolutely ridiculous and that may be the case. let me give you the low down real quick and I would love some feed back. I am 20, I am from Nashville, TN. I live in San Fran going to beauty school until December. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. I have been going through these really weird moods of wanting to have a kid. My mother was a young mom and sometimes I think its great and I really hope that I will be. Other times I know its crazy to think about. I don't know what to do.
2007-08-21 09:35:28 · 11 answers · asked by theblee 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I knew I was ready when the strip showed 2 lines. LOL.
You will never be READY ready. If you have your child earlier, you will be pressed for money. If you wait, you will be more into your career then your child. Or your spouse will be working all the time to cover the loss of your income while you stay home with the child.
So, as I said, there is NEVER a right time. I got pregnant at 17, and had him at 18. It was never easy. For a very long time we struggled very very hard and gave up a lot of things so our kids could have what they needed.
Do I regret it? nope. not one bit. And I'll be off having fun by the time I'm 38(i had a 2nd child at 20) while everyone else will still have YEARS before their children are old enough for them to have time to themselves again. I'm young enough to run around with the kids, young enough to relate to all they are going through.
2007-08-21 09:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by paganmom26 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not crazy...
Just make sure you are financially ready.
Without being financially ready... not only can it be an inconvinience for you if you are working all the time to support your child... money is one of the #1 things that can break a relationship.
Even though you both have probably been through a lot being together for 6 years already, it could either make you or break you if the money isn't there. Also, say if one of you got hurt, or not even that.... doctor bills, tests during pregnancy...
Talk to your man about this big decision....it's not only your choice....it's his too.
Also, think about your education.... with a child in this world you need to be able to provide, and not only that but if you want to go to school again, once you have a child, you might not have that oppportunity to do so....or it might be more delayed than you want it.
Good luck, and remember, you're young...live your life and you have plenty of time to have children. If it is true love, there should be no rush.
God Bless.
2007-08-21 09:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by kAt...* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get married.
Then, after you have been married for a year, it is a good time to consider starting a family.
Why marriage? Without it, someone always has one foot out the door. Marriage binds the idea of commitment. The one year deal is because that first year is a year of adjustment, two people, two personalities, two ways of living standards, all coming together under one committed roof.
My wife and I were married not long before she was 19. We had #1 son by the time she was 21. We will, or should, have kids on their way out of the house before my wife is 45, if not soon thereafter.
It is quite normal to want children. But, make sure the commitment is in place first. You don't want to raise children in a dysfunctional environment, right?
2007-08-21 11:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by TroothBTold 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being MARRIED might be a good idea. The permancy of your relationship is important. What HE thinks of the idea and of course sit down and figure if you can afford a child. ie;diapers,food,daycare,clothes,insurance for well baby care,dentistry,life insurance should something happen to you,18 years of responsibility (and love), time management---etc. ITS ALOT! Don't do it till you can do all those things. If not-get a hamster! Children are the best thing you'll ever have-and the most stressful and the most wonderful. Mine are 13 and 20 now and my oldest-boy-about made me crazy! I was young and running my own business and traveled and all-it was HARD! I wouldn't trade him for the world but the better time in my life would have made things easier. Part of your decision is the father, part is you, the biggest part is what you bring to the table for the child! Good luck-20 is still so young-go travel,educate yourself,love your guy and you'll just know when its right.
2007-08-21 09:49:57 · answer #4 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life changes drastically during pregnancy, childbirth and parenting regardless of your age or relationship status. You have no control of how these changes could present themseves, you could have a happy health pregnancy, fantastic birth, but you will have many sleepless nights after the baby is born. If the pregnancy or birth are complicated you will have financial and emotional stress.
Children are a blessing but come with a whole lot of responsibility.
You have to put the child's need first and if you can handle stress, then have a serious talk with you b/f and make sure he is ready.
2007-08-21 10:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by YesIDid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the idea of changing diapers, rough spots financially, losing time as a couple and waking up at 3 in the morning doesn't scare you. When you can realize that having a beautful child and sleepless nights comes with the territory when you can realize that you and your partner won't be just a couple, you will be parents. Having a baby is a beautiful thing, when you can see the prons AND cons and take them hand in hand, then you can say you are ready.
2007-08-21 09:41:52 · answer #6 · answered by jmalin04 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never.
Only two things are sure: death and taxes. You will probably make a great mom but your life will never be the same.
What your mom did is irrelevant. How long you have a relationship is irrelevant. How you feel about having a kid should be of minor influence on your decision to have one now....or later.
Are you ready to give up your life as you know it? I doubt it you will ever be sure.
But...if the day comes and you know the baby is on it's way, you will be ready anyway. Weather you are sure or not will not matter one little bit. Be sure of that.
2007-08-21 09:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by Puppy Zwolle 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The thought of babies crossed my mind from time to time, but I loved my freedom. Then suddenly the HPT read positive and here I am, due in 7 weeks. I'm really excited about it. I know that it's life changing but I'm ready! 22 years old might seem young but there's no way I'd give my baby up.
2007-08-21 09:49:38 · answer #8 · answered by Darling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess when you are ready to have no life of your own!! Everything I do is for my kids. I never think about myself anymore. My hubby and I never go to movies, go out dancing, etc. Friday night is for sitting at home watching Blues Clues. At 20, I definately wouldn't have been ready for this kind of commitment. Just something to think about. By the way, I would definately get married first and try to live thru that for awhile!
2007-08-21 09:52:13 · answer #9 · answered by love2dance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly you can never be really READY to have a baby! LOL
i was 21 when we had #1 and i thought i was ready. i had everything you could possible think about having for a new baby and everyone was willing to help but i thought i was ready and refused to let anyone help. don't be like that. you are not super woman.lol
2007-08-21 09:46:48 · answer #10 · answered by dixiedarlin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋