We've been together 6 years, we'd been talking about getting engaged. Now he says he can't do it because he can't let go of some things that happened in the past. My heart is breaking and I just want to scream and cry, but I'm sitting at a desk in an open newsroom and I just can't let it out. How do I keep my composure? Should I just go home?? My mind is in a frenzy right now and I don't know what to do.
2007-08-21 08:40:44 · 36 answers · asked by Brainy Smurfette 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Go to a ladies' room on a different floor and have a little cry if you need to. Then think about the BIG PICTURE. You'll certainly talk more to this guy later; you might even work things out.
And if you don't, then you can rest assured that this guy did you a favor by ending it -- what kind of person ends a 6 year relationship by calling someone at work? Where he doesn't have to face you *and* you can't make a scene? On second thought, screw the crying in the ladies' room. You should be fuming!
You could look like you're working very diligently by pounding out your frustration on your keyboard -- a letter to him, a "journal" entry to yourself, whatever -- it doesn't even have to go anywhere. But it will give you something to do that's appropriate for the workplace and might help you clear your mind.
Keep your chin up, girl. You're stronger than you know.
2007-08-21 08:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by . 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why exactly are you stressing about this relationship? is it because there is really something wrong or you are so insecure about the relationship and need constant reassurance? If you can't find any LEGIT reason for this fight then don't have it. The boy may be stressed, tired or not in the mood. Just like you have ups and downs, guys have them too. Just give him his space...you are crowding him right now and he's already got one foot out the door. The more you obsess and stress him out with talking about the relationship, the more he'll want to bolt. Pouring your heart out to guys when you are having a fight ALMOST NEVER WORKS. The more you force a guy to do what you want the less he'll comply and the more he'll resent you for this. Give him space and when he's feeling better he'll apologize and talk to you. And when you've discussed an issue, LEt IT REST!!
2016-05-19 01:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you're having a tough time, but just think about it this way: you're better off without someone who is capable of doing such a thing!!! Why didn't he have the balls to say this to you IN YOUR FACE!!? I agree with the others who have said that you should be angry rather than sad. But I know the pain doesn't just vanish like that.
I do think you should go home BUT only if you will have someone to talk to when being there. It does relieve me quite a bit to have someone to vent with when I'm feeling this way, being alone may make you feel sadder. If anything, leave your office and go for a walk, buy an ice cream or something like that, but don't go lie in your bed and feel sorry for yourself. Have a good cry, that always helps take it out, and of course you can't do this while at work (except for the quick trip to the bathroom but then everyone will be able to see your big red eyes and will start being nosey and asking what happened and blah blah). So try to get out of there, and chin up girl!!!! You're way better than him, be happy you didn't lose any more time with the moron!!!!
2007-08-21 09:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the bathroom or to your car and cry your eyes out, scream, anything. Take a 1/2 hour. Then come back to your desk and remind yourself that the workday is almost over. Life WILL go on, and you'll be able to deal with it later. Save your time off, because you will need to take some days to deal. Tonight, if possible, talk to him. Then take tomorrow off, but dont speak with him. Decide how you feel and where you want to go from here. Sometimes, it's not the fact that the relationship has ended that hurts, rather the fact that it caught us by surprise.
2007-08-21 09:01:51 · answer #4 · answered by Missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. I feel so bad. If you can afford to go home for the rest of the day, that would probably be best. If you have a friend who can come over tonight that would probably be best, and she can comfort you. You probably won't be able to concentrate really well the rest of the day if you stay at work, but if you can't really miss a day then just tough it out. Try not to snap at people, and although it'll be hard, just try to smile and get through the day. Have a good cry whenever you get home; it'll make you feel better.
2007-08-21 08:49:44 · answer #5 · answered by Oneofthesedays 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right, after six years, to be upset and your feelings are completely normal. My first suggestion is to take a deep cleansing breath and to get angry at him, rather than feel sad. If you have leave time/sick time, go home. Even if you don't and you can afford to, go home. I have dealt with this myself. I don't understand how men can do that...break it off when the woman is at work. I have had the exact same thing happen to me. They are a$$holes that way. What you need is a good girlfriend who's shoulder you can use as a tissue. Once you are done being sad, the anger will kick in and you will realize what a jerk he is and what a waste of six years he has been and you will need to go out with that girlfriend and get over him. Do what you feel you need to do. Don't let your job or co-workers dictate that. If he is dumb enough to do that to you, you are better off without him...even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Best of luck.
2007-08-21 08:49:07 · answer #6 · answered by jenlvali 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath and go get up and get away from your desk for a couple of minutes. Go get a cold soda or bottled water so that you have something to sip and do. If you can, go in the ladies room and use a cool paper towel to wipe your face. Find a friend to take a short walk with you.
I know how much that hurts and I can sympathize. The suggestions above are to try to help you get through the day, but if you can't and you wouldn't get in trouble for leaving that wouldn't be really bad to do.
I hope things work out for you and your boyfriend somehow!
2007-08-21 08:46:34 · answer #7 · answered by maypenguin39 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry, if I were you and i have been go take a break and have a talk with a close coworker if you could, youll feel worse before you feel better, if it truly is the end of the relationship, 6 years is a long time to throw away, if you could finish out the day, or go home, your mind wont be on work right now anyway, i wish you the best and i hope you feel better, nothing we say here will make you feel anybetter today, but if it helps you could email me
2007-08-21 09:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by walmartshopper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey kiddo, go home. It is better to excuse yourself for personal reasons than have your work peers think you're "losing your touch" at work.
Who knows, he may have a change of heart or come back, or it might be the end. None the less, you will have a significant person that will be loving and at your side. Breaking up with you while your at work is an indication the your boyfriend was far more inconsiderate than you knew. THAT my dear was heartless and cruel...he knew he was breaking up, it was NOT SPONTANEOUS...if his character was decent he would have given you a week-end or evening so you could have gathered you senses and composed your thoughts. (that have been broadsided) What a cad to be so heartless...he knew you'd fall apart! HUGE STINKIN' RAT!!!
2007-08-21 08:56:13 · answer #9 · answered by slys114 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I suggest you keep busy at what you are doing and take on a few more activities if possible to keep your mind occupied and avert depression. You are not the first person to go through this nor the last. Ultimately the best cure is to meet someone else and build a terrific new relationship and move on with life.
All the best.
Michael Kelly
2007-08-21 08:51:21 · answer #10 · answered by Michael Kelly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋