I am 22 young and pretty very smart. I became a pen pal to a Soldier when I was 17. We grew fond of eachother. We've never met But planned for him to come down and visit. He has everything I wanted and look for in a man. Qualities that my step dad has that i look for since he and my mom are happily married. Just recently he cheated and i left him. Of course talked it out then I had a fling while seperated. Got together and things were back to normal. Now I've found out he cheated again wit the same girl. And Left and this time was for good. Now he regrets it of course and I told him we could be friends the love i have for him is there and I knw deep down he loves me to but how can i take back someone who cheated twice. If i knew he was like any other guy I woulda left it alone but for some reason he has a hold of me and I dont show it but he lets me knw how much he still loves me and regrets what he did and how he hurt me and him. I NEED GOOD advice from a WOMAN.
2007-08-21 08:04:31 · 8 answers · asked by Ness 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i was with my sons father for 6 years and and i caught him cheating twice and the third time i had enough i wasnt going to let my son to grow up and think its ok to treat women like that and he ended up marring the girl he cheated on me with and they also had a kid and now guess what he is cheating on her so im sorry to say this but from my stand point once a cheater always a cheater expecially if the go to the same girl and do it more than once... i know its hard but leave him and trust me in a month or so you will be over him it took me like 6 months but no i am happy and so is my son but to this day its still hard for me to trust a man good luck sweetie i wish you the best
2007-08-21 08:14:59 · answer #1 · answered by MARIE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If 50 is old enough, listen. You're young, pretty and smart. He's older, stupid and a loser. Do you want me to do the math - or are you able to read the handwriting on the wall.
Sure. He has good qualities. Everyone has good qualities. And as a young, bright, and caring woman you would rather dwell on the good parts.
But face it. He's got some REALLY BAD qualities - he's dishonest, untrustworthy, selfish, self directed, and - no matter what he says - HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. Sad as it sounds. No. he doesn't love you.
He is nothing more than a loser.
So, even if you still "love" him - run - don't walk - far, far away from him.
No. This time you cannot be friends. Ever again.
Yes, this will hurt. Change hurts. BUT - believe me. This guy you can replace - you'd be surprised at how easily he can be replaced.
This time - look for someone better than this creep.
2007-08-21 08:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm definitely older and I read it. I'm not a woman but let me ask you this...
You said "He has everything I wanted and look for in a man. Qualities that my step dad has that i look for since he and my mom are happily married."
So what you're saying is that the quality that he has is that he's a cheater? Is that REALLY what you're looking for in a man?
People who constantly make bad choices and then apologize and say they'll never do it again almost ALWAYS do it again. Ask any woman who's involved with a physically abusive man. My guess is that pretty soon he'll be blaming YOU for his cheating. That's typically how it progresses.
If you're really very smart like you say, you'll know exactly what the right thing is to do. And the right thing usually isn't the easy thing.
Best
2007-08-21 08:21:25 · answer #3 · answered by QWERTY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummmmmm....how can you leave a man you never met, or consider it cheating when you have never had a sexual relationship with him?
He obviously ISN'T like your step father and DOESN'T have the qualities you thought he did.
You aren't in love with the guy, you are in love with the idea of who he could have been, what he wrote - real love is more than words written or spoken - there has to be physical contact, knowing each other face to face.
You need to stop contact with this jerk...he is not who you want him to be and all you are doing is closing yourself off to a real relationship.
2007-08-21 08:17:26 · answer #4 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a long distance relationship with someone I dated for 2 years b/4 he moved, and it was hard. I don't think that a relationship where you have never met the person constitutes a realtionship. I don't think that he cheated. I think it's time to move on. You are young, and you need to have real dates, and real kisses, and a real relationship.
2007-08-21 08:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by RORO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand how you can cheat on someone that you have never met. You can't really get a real read on someone from letters and the phone. Find a flesh and blood person.
2007-08-21 08:12:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mystickjen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
agree with mystic...if you two have never met how is it cheating?
Met with him spend time with him then decide what you will do...
2007-08-21 08:19:18 · answer #7 · answered by Carmen M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater, move on,
2007-08-21 08:11:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋