Me and my boyfriend had sex, my first time, on my 18th birthday. At first I said i wanted to. Then as he was putting the condom on i suddenly changed my mind. I said "no i dont want to" a bunch of times and crossed my legs. Then he said "dont be so nervous. uncross your legs." I dont know why, but i uncrossed them and without a pause he started having sex with me.
I cried afterwards, and I'm still stressed out about it. He said i should just try to think positive about it, like how i admitted it did feel good. I know worse things could have happened, but I still feel hurt and betrayed. What's worse is that I dont want to break up with him, because i'm just obsessed with him. I feel like i should leave him but....it just seems unbearable to imagine my life without him. He's really strong, and i'm not.
should I leave him? was what he did as mean as i think it was? what can i do to get over my regrets?
I dont have anyone to talk to, any advice would help so much
2007-08-21 07:23:17 · 7 answers · asked by Loen872 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I agree with the first three answers...get out of this relationship now and find someone who will listen to you when you say NO. No means no. It doesn't matter if you are dating or what. He was wrong...not you. Do not blame yourself for this. He should have listened when you said no.
2007-08-21 07:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by princess_dnb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah that's a real betrayal. That's insensitive at best, rape at worst. And it's got to hurt doubly, considering it was your first time.
The real deciding factor here, I think, is how he treated you afterwards. Did he take good emotional care of you? Was he willing to listen to you and did he care about your feelings even if he didn't entirely understand? Is he sorry that he hurt you and is he trying to be extra sweet and show you that he values you?
If he isn't, then, I would leave him. Maybe seek some counselling about this - you're dealing with a lot of painful and conflicting feelings, I think a counselor could help you sort it out.
2007-08-21 09:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by Janelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he was as mean as you think he was, and I am so sorry that happened to you. He should have listened to you. Don't listen to guys who will try and give you excuses for their behaviors--there isn't any good excuse if you ask me.
To answer your other question, I do think you should leave him for good. I hope you can find someone you trust (a girlfriend, an older person) to talk to. I think that will be a good start to getting over your regrets.
2007-08-21 07:36:21 · answer #3 · answered by JK 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pretty much everybody's first sexual experience leaves a lot to be desired. However, it doesn't sound like he loves you very much, and you are trying to tell yourself he isn't right for you but you are afraid of being alone (men are like socks, they should be changed everyday don't you know that?)
He is not right for you if he didn't respect what you said. Find somebody who loves and respects you, then you will enjoy sex with them for the right reasons, not because your manipulative, domineering boyfriend tells you you have to.
2007-08-21 07:36:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well...if it was ur first time u will be nervous...and not knowing something is what people fear...and i think he was excited to be with u but...he has ta understand if u don't want to do something...he shouldn't try to change ur mind,he must realize there was a reason u made that choice not to do that something and let him know that.talk it out with him, if he can't respect ur choices he doesn't deserve you...and if u want to leave him cause he isn't respecting ur choices then u can find someone better ^__^ good luck!
2007-08-21 07:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by .ashwee. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he did was horrible and there is no excuse for him. Technically he raped you because you did not give your consent. You may always have those regrets, but now it is up to you to determine if you can forgive him or not. However, remember that you are important and no man or woman has the right to make you feel like crap.
2007-08-21 07:37:09 · answer #6 · answered by just wants to know 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
woa
well u love him an he loves u
even ho u did cross ur legs,he asked u an u opend
so no rape there
but jus think of it like this
this man is the only man for u an vise versa.u can give him evrything an get everything
2007-08-21 07:39:34 · answer #7 · answered by grk_skater_lb 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋