She was diagnosed last December, and was only 54 years old. I was very close to her and was with her until the very end when she took her last breath. I feel like someone just ripped my heart out. I am in so much pain and this is all so new to me. I cry and can't stop thinking of her. Does it get better with time?
2007-08-21 07:19:41 · 10 answers · asked by Rmb2000 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
My deepest condolences on your loss. I can tell it is very painful for you. Rest assured it will get better with time, but take your time, allow yourself to grieve in whatever way seems appropriate to you (there is no one right way). If you feel the need, find a trusted friend to talk over your feelings with. If after some time you find it difficult to get past your feelings, you may want to consider talking them out with a professional or others who have experienced a similar loss. Take it easy on yourself for awhile; this is a huge loss.
2007-08-21 07:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by jurydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry for the loss of your Mom. I lost my Dad to cancer last year. The pain and sadness does get better with time, but I don't think it will ever go away. A day has not gone by where I have not thought about my Dad. For me everything reminded me of him. It feels like a part of you is missing. I was with my Dad when he passed away as well. Because you were there with your mom you can have assurance she felt your presence and your love. Nothing will ever take away the memories that you have of your Mom. Hold onto those memories and listen with all your senses --I'm sure your Mom is trying to somehow let you know she is okay. Maybe in a dream, a sensation --she will always be part of you. You will cry and try to hold onto as much of her as you can--this is a normal grieving process. My heart goes out to you--I don't think you can ever truly understand the hurt of losing a parent to cancer until they have faced it themselves. Find comfort in your family and friends and seek help if you think it is unbearable. jen.
2007-08-21 20:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by jennifer d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pain of losing somebody very close and dear to you can only be fully understood by those who have been there. Most of us, at some point in our lives, have. This is the grieving time, and so you must grieve. But as you do, remember that you could not possibly have wanted her to continue on in a situation that could only become worse and more horrible for her.
Yes, time IS the great healer, and the pain will mellow into a gentle sadness when you think of her. But as time passes you will also be able to smile and laugh again as you remember the good times.
Try to go forward living, being, and doing all the things that you know she would be wanting you to do. Carry on, and live your life in her memory, knowing, as you do so, that there are millions of people sharing the same bitter-sweet emotions of loved ones who have passed on.
Both my parents are long gone. But it doesn't stop me often, when I am alone pottering around the house, chatting up a storm to them as if they were here beside me, asking them if they remember this or that little incident from long ago when I was young. Who knows, perhaps they are there, listening to me, and smiling as I talk my memories aloud.
2007-08-21 08:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I don't think there is anything is this world that prepares up for the passing of a loved one..especially a family member.
What you are feeling... the grief and pain is normal. It is the price we pay for loving someone.
How has your grieving influenced your everyday life? Sometimes the best thing we can do is return to school or work....Getting out of the "cancer world" and into the everyday world is therapy and a relief (maybe a little guilt)
Do you have family members you can share memories with(happy,funny or sad)?
When you accomplish something special ( and you will)just think of your mom. She would be so proud of you!
2007-08-21 09:36:56 · answer #4 · answered by gimme1latte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not exactly. You will have times when you miss her terribly and feel like your heart is ripped out, even 20 years from now. But the immediacy of your feelings will fade. You won't feel the loss every second. You will balance out and be able to live your life and be happy again.
Just remember, you will always carry your mother inside you and it is up to you to live your life and to make her proud. She is still keeping an eye on you I bet. When I miss the people who have passed on so badly that I can't breath, I go to a quiet place like the beach or a trail and it feels like they are with me and I find comfort.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I have had cervical cancer twice now, although mine was always caught early enough. Remember to get checked every year.
2007-08-21 07:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that you lost someone so close to you. You are not alone. I lost my father just before my 18th b-day. That was 17 years ago. The answer is yes it does get better. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I was told by someone very special to me that when a person dies GOD needed another angel. Your love and memories will live on.
2007-08-21 07:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to try to stop the pain, just let it be. She was important to you, so just be sad and remember the great times you had, get all the sadness out. Later on, it will minimize, but you can't count on it to go away, it was your mom. It's probably especially painful because of the new vaccine out, but you just have to hold on and know that what is done is done.
Best wishes
2007-08-21 07:26:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you dear one.I lost my daddy in February and although some days are better than others,it always hurts,but,think of this,i have too because i will break down even more,your mama and my daddy would want us to be happy,they know how much we love and miss them,but your mama is there with you in your heart,pushing you to go on.I greive right along with you,and although i still feel like a huge "void" is here in my heart,we will make it,for them.
2007-08-21 21:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I reently lost my mom also to cancer and i dont bleeive the pain ever gts better.i have heard of ppl losing a spouse, child, a parent like 12 yrs ago and longer and when they see or hear something that reminds them its the pain all over again and it seems like yesterday not 12 yrs or longer. so to answer your question , as my honest personal opinion it dont gt better with time.
2007-08-21 09:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by renae2007_1986 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea it does one of my family members died from a disease and it does hurt like that. But eventually you will be able to accept what happened it will still hurt sometimes but just think of all the fun times you had together and that she is no longer suffering.
2007-08-21 07:35:54 · answer #10 · answered by Ashleigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋