I'm not sure I can even have a baby and he know's this. He tells me that whatever it cost, have it done. I feel as if he just wants an heir and not me
2007-08-21 06:17:26 · 24 answers · asked by caldrich36 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well if you think you're ready then go for it. But if you don't then don't do it. You have the rest of your life to figure out when you want one, take things slow and talk to him about it. It's worth a try. Also think though, are you financially ready for this?!?! And also, think about this...is he going to stick around for you and the baby? If you think he wants an heir and not you then talk to him. See what he's all about. Your answer will come to you.
2007-08-21 06:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by Jodie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off are you ready to have a baby? Seeing as though a child is a huge responsibility you have to make sure that's what you want. Don't do something as serious as bringing life into this world to please him if its going to make you miserable. Also have you two discussed marriage yet because marriage is a way of saying I love you and I'm going to be here through thick and thin no matter what. And thickness is sure to come once you have a child. You two should discuss this (the baby and marriage) and share the way you feel. If you don't feel loved let him know. You shouldn't be pushed into something that you're not sure of or that you don't want. But I believe that if he can't commit to you in marriage your relationship isn't definite and a child shouldn't be caught in the middle of that. And if you can't have children you can always adopt. If he truly loves you he would show more understanding and not be upset if you can't bear children. You being a woman I'm sure that discovering that you can't have kids would hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt him. So he needs to be more emotionally supportive.
2007-08-21 06:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by jamyj917 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bells are going off in my head right now. What part of that statement is not making sense to you and you quoted it. My BOYFRIEND wants me to have a baby.........Whatever happen to getting marry first? You been together 3 years why not get married and then have a child so both you all can be legitimate. Life has no guarantees but having the baby first is crazy to me. Don't do this unless you are ready for a child not because he want you to.
2007-08-21 06:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by Gail S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like you might be right. I know he's your boyfriend and you probably feel like you love him and cant live without him, but trust me you can. Having a baby is something you cant reverse. What if he breaks up with you tomorrow? Who's going to support you and your kid? It's a lifetime commitment and if he wants to commit, why doesnt he marry you? If he's not sure about spending the rest of his life with you, than can you really trust his desire to want to have kids? This is YOUR life and YOUR future we're talking about! I have no doubt that you are a beautiful and intelligent young lady who deserves a guy that will sweep her off her feet-not pressure her to have kids when she's not ready-and the fact that you're asking proves that you're not. You'll know when you're ready to have a child. In the mean time, focus on yourself-pursue the goals and dreams you've set for yourself. :)
2007-08-21 06:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by asianchick311 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I'm old-fashioned, but I would NOT have a baby with a guy who's not willing to get married, cuz then you'll end up with a kid to take care of and he'll be out making more babies! At least if you are married he has to pay child support if he splits.
2007-08-21 06:26:03 · answer #5 · answered by avalon1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for feeling that way.
Perhaps that's one of the ways he feels that he can connect with you; even so, I don't like the way he's pressuring you into this.
If he already knows you might not be able to have a baby, and is still pressuring you, ask him about adoption. if all he wants is an heir then he'll say no, and you can dump him and move on with your life.
he's dating YOU. not your ovaries.
2007-08-21 06:25:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definately don't have a baby just because your boyfriend wants a baby. It's your body and no one else's so it's your choice alone!!! You're the only one who's going to carry it and you are the one who's going to be caring for the baby, not him. Guys are more like helpers and only when it's convenient for them.
I would surprise him with a new puppy and tell him to practice playing "daddy" with the dog.
2007-08-21 06:26:42 · answer #7 · answered by goturanswer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you want to have a child? that is the real question. don't do something this extreme just because he wants it. make sure it is something that the two of you want. what about marriage? do you want to marry this guy? i personally don't want to have children before i am married. if you are going to have a kid with someone, they are going to always be in your life. why not wait until you are both ready, and then deal with it.
2007-08-21 06:25:49 · answer #8 · answered by linds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel and if you are not ready then dont have a baby cause then you are going to be miserable and not be able to take care of your baby the way you should. He should respect your feelings if he trully loves you.
2007-08-21 06:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by puertolinda2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy friend is he prepared to marry and sign a pre nup that will ensure he will support you and the child no matter what happens?
You want to see the trust fund.
2007-08-21 06:25:45 · answer #10 · answered by energybuild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋