He is a great kid but doesn't seem to connect with those around him. He meets kids at the park or at activities (he is not shy) but leaves it there. I'll ask him the name of the child he was playing with but he never bothers to ask. I've put him in a hundred programs (sports, science, et cetera) but the little guy is always by himself. It hurts so much to see.
2007-08-21 05:50:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
in all seriousness, you should have your child examined by a trained psychologist.
It's truly possible that your child just lacks a few basic social skills, such as how to introduce himself ("hi, I'm timmy, what's your name?") and could use a little coaching. It could be that he's just a bit insecure in public and might do better in a smaller, more closed circle of kids.
But it might also be that he has a mild form of Aspergers or Autism. At their extremes, these disorders tend to result in kids who are completely unable to interact with others and that doesn't sound like your child, but it's not a black or white thing. There are varying degrees of severity.
Some kids just lack the ability to appropriately process social cues and signals, and sometimes, with care and proper coaching, they can learn these.
Talk to a child psychologist or two (without your child...make sure it's the right person before you start this process with your child), to see if they recommend a more careful examination.
2007-08-21 06:00:03 · answer #1 · answered by Izzy F 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Encourage friendships by hosting events -
**Let him take cupcakes to school
**Birthday Party at a favorite family fun center
**Sporting event tickets - ask him to invite someone
**Movies, skating, picnic, museum, park, zoo, etc...all special events particularly enjoyed with a special guest or friend.
All of these will require the parent to become chummy w/other parents, i.e. phone calls, personal introductions on the playground or at events, asking permission for their son to join you and your child on an outing etc...
Warning: Video games are killing the socialization instinct in our children and even in the adults who frequent this vacuum...this activity ISOLATES and poses interactivity with others as a threat, a waste of time, and/or dangerous and uncomfortable encounters that should be avoided, destroyed and or fled from. Watch what you son is watching.
2007-08-21 13:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by candid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may grow out of this. Maybe try to sign him up for activities that you know the same kids may be doing all the time. If he gets to see the same people all the time he may be more at ease to go talk to them. I used to be like this for a year or two and once I got a little older I talked to everyone and had tons of friends.
2007-08-21 13:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by Vikki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a bad thing to be a loner! In our hyper-social society, we've been programmed to believe that there's something wrong with someone who prefers to be alone and doesn't really have a lot of friends. Some people are just born that way, though. I know I was! My mom always tells me a story of one day when I was about 9 and had a group of girls from school over for a party or something, and after playing with them for about 15 minutes, I left them all in my room and went out to the living room to watch Wheel of Fortune. My mom was like, "What's wrong? Did something happen?" and I was sort of shocked that she even thought something was wrong- to me, I'd had my fun with the other kids, and I was done now, and it was time for me to watch TV alone. And you know what? I was a perfectly happy kid. I always got along well with everyone in class, and I wasn't like antisocial or anything- it's just that when it came time to choose between being with a group of kids or playing/reading by myself, I always chose being by myself. I think that as I've gotten older, I really haven't changed much. I'm 27 now, and I have a group of friends that I hang out with on weekends and whatnot, but if I don't have my "me" time, I get cranky. I think that as long as your son doesn't seem lonely or get sad about having no friends, it's OK for now. Some people only need like one best friend in the world to be happy, and maybe he hasn't met that friend yet. He sounds like a very bright, curious, well-adjusted boy. Let him make friends on his own timetable.
2007-08-21 13:27:52 · answer #4 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will make friends eventually. Some kids are just loners at heart! He may be one of the kids that grow up more focused on things like school and learning than interacting with other children. Be happy, you could have the next einstien! I think i spelled that wrong but anyways! He will make friends eventually...hes probably just really shy and it might not be that obvious.. Explain to him he has to introduce himself to people, ask their names and tell them his, and then just play with them, if they dont want to play with him, they will let him know and he can move on to the next and try to make a friend or 2.
2007-08-21 12:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever signed your son up for any type of "karate" class. I have seen great things happen to little people when they take a martial arts class. They learn to listen to adults, they learn self respect, and their self esteem tends to rise. Besides, he'll get in some great exercise and make some new friends. Sign him up!
2007-08-21 13:31:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the kind of opportunities you have been but don't push. This is something that he has to do on his own. The more you try to force it, the more he will back off from social occasions.
One of these days he will find the perfect best friend.
2007-08-21 13:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
welll is he a nioce kid or a mean kid you need to set up play dates with other kids in his grade
2007-08-21 14:41:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋