What are the ADVANTAGES of having children at a young age?

Question

Hello. I am 19, hubby-2-be is 21. Hopefully getting married sometime in the next year. My whole life I never knew what I wanted to do when I "grew-up" besides be a wife and a mother. I have always had the "mother-hen" lifestyle, probley from being the oldest of five siblings, from ages 3-12. My heart breaks when I see babies and now that we are stable in our careers and we we could afford a child, I am wondering what the advantages of having children young are? I want to be able to enjoy my grandchildren, unlike my father who is 46 and has a 3year old. I am scared, of course. But, I want to know what you think. And is there anything I can say to my hubby2b to make him see that having children young is a smart choice? He wants a child, sometimes I think more than anything, but, he too is scared. I am not interested in the disadvantages or negative feedback. We know we are young, get over it! Positive feedback only please! Thanks! Have a great day

Answer 1

when they are grown and move out you are still young enough to have some fun... on the other hand if you wait you are young enough now to have fun

Answer 2

Well, my husband and I started our family young as well. I was 21 when our oldest was born and my husband was 23.

With four children (all 18-20 months apart in age), we will be 47 and 49 when our youngest child graduates from college! We love the idea of having time to form adult-friendships with our children, as well as enjoying an active retirement.

I also look forward to MANY fun years with our grandchildren (possibly even great-grandchildren!)

My advice to you, speaking from experience, is make sure you and your husband are REALLY ready before taking the leap into parenthood. Consider whether or not you will be able to afford to quit your job and stay home with the kids, whether or not the two of you can afford a home, and how you are going to be able to invest in both your child's higher education and your personal savings/retirement funds. Run the numbers, come up with a budget/plan and go from there. Your husband will probably feel a lot more confident with the idea of parenthood if he can clearly see that your futures are secure.

Answer 3

First off, you are never "ready" to have children. Everyone waits until they are "ready". There is nothing that can prepare you for parenthood. With that said. I was 23 when I had my son and to a lot of people that is young. I love it. I had a good childhood and a fun teenager-hood. When you have children when you are young, you have the energy to keep up with them. Also, when they are teenagers, you are still young enough to remember what it was like. You don't necessarily have to be the "cool" mom, but you're still open-minded. You'll be able to enjoy your grand kids. Your body is able to handle the pregnancy better. Both of your bodies will be able to handle the sleep deprevation (it only lasts for a too-short time anyway). However, make sure that you've done everything that you want to do before you have your children. I've been partying legally since I was 16 (grew up in Germany) and I got to see the world before I had mine. I do wish that I would have finished my college. It's difficult balancing family, job and schooling. If you have done it all, then go for it. Nothing compares to being a mother and father. That is absolute love!

Answer 4

A lot of people wait and wait and wait for when they think they are "ready" for children but how do you decide when that time comes? The answer is, if you are married and financially stable and you have a wife who will stay home and be the full time mother that children need, then you ARE ready for children.

Basically, you just become ready when it happens. There's so much you can't learn except by doing. That's true for pregnancy and parenthood. Eventually you just have to take the plunge.

A lot of couples fall into the trap of marrying and then immediately going into birth control. They keep hanging on to it waiting for the perfect time to "start trying" for a baby. Many women are not told that being on BC can actually hurt your chances for conceiving in the future.

Marriage is all about babies - a baby is the natural result of the love between mother and father - why put off this blessing? Studies show that couples who marry young and have children right off are FAR more likely to stay together and be closer/more intimate throughout their marriage.

The younger you are, the better equipped your bodies are for pregnancy, birth and running after active youngters LOL. But I guess the ideal is start having them young and keep having them until menopause (unless finances are strained or mom is ill) because if you have a child when you are much older, you will have mature children to help you by that point.

All the best and congrats on your upcoming marriage!

Answer 5

You will have so much more energy to play with them. Plus you are still young enough that if you decide to quit working for a while, it will be easy for you to find another job.
I am 35 and have a 3 year old and another one on the way. It is hard for me because of the energy levels. It takes a toll on your body but if you are young, your body bounces back so much faster. I have taken off 2 years to stay at home with my son and it is really hard to find another job.
You will be young, energetic, and will be able to still be the young hot mama even when your kids are teenagers. They will not be embarassed to go shopping with you in the malls. Plus you will be able to enjoy your grandkids and great- grandchildren.

I say, go for it..... There is never a perfect time to have kids, and these people that think they can wait and plan for it when they are more stable or just kidding themselves.

Answer 6

hello,

i think it's grate that i had my kids young, by no means anm i saying you should. but i'm 20 and my hubby is 23 and we have 3 kids (3.5year, 2years and 8mons) i have loved it that i am able to be just as active as they are. i can actually get up on the playground equpiment with them and not just be a supervisour on the bench, and even before they are able to walk, i found (as did other family members) that i had a much easier delivery and recovery after delivery then some of the older women in my family did. i had a much better milk supply for brest fedding too. (not that this is medicaly proven just what i have found through my fmaily)
i honestly think,you shouldnt worry what everyone else says or thinks of you and your hubby to be. no matter what you'll find a way that works for you and him.
i love being a young mom i hope you will be blessed by this joy to.

p.s
i was 16 when i had my first born, i wouldnt change it.

Answer 7

I can certainly comment on the disadvantages of having children late in life. Our son was in 8th grade when we retired! But it is a good idea to wait for a year or two after marriage to give the marriage a chance before introducing the stress of a baby.
My sister was young when she had hers, but that didn't produce grandchildren in a timely fashion, since her only one was born when gramma was 65.
Don't try to persuade a prospective daddy to have children until he is ready. He needs a chance to come to terms with this tremendous responsibility. Age is not the problem here, but a lack of confidence in his ability to provide for such a precious gift.

Answer 8

the biggest single advantage is that the kid(s) will be grown and out of the house right about the time that you and your husband (if you are still married by then) start into your midlife crises.

You'll both be young enough that it is still [theoretically] possible for each of you to hook up with a new romantic interest, though your husband will certainly have an easier time of it than you, a divorced (or soon to be) mother of grown kids in her forties will.

Another advantage of course of starting early is that you'll both be so broke at the time you get around to the bitter and acrimonious divorce that there won't be much in the way of money or possessions to fight over. Child supoort and custody won't be an issue, and the aforementioned lack of money means that the higher wage earning spouse won't get socked with a hefty alimony payment for the rest of their lives.

Answer 9

the up side is,in general, you can keep up with them better. kids are a lot of work. lots of learning, running around and such. it tends to get a little harder when they reach school age. as adults, we just have more energy when we're a bit younger. personally, i think around 23 -25 is a good age to start a family. this gives you more time to do a bit of living and be happy with your situation before you settle down.

Answer 10

I had kids at a young age, my wife was 21 and I was 23, it has been great, I have energy to play with them, to take care of them and look after them. I have a more opened mind about modern topics, can talk with them about similar likes (music, video games). it has been incredible

Answer 11

You have more energy to play with them. im 23 and going on #2. i had my first when i was 18. yes its hard because there are time you want to go out but its worth it.
and yes like you said when they start having babies you will still be young and you can keep up with your grandkids