I can tell my older children but how do I explain it to my 4, 2, and possibly my 7 year old? Keep in mind that he was my grandfather so it will be hard for me to tell them. he passed away around 11am (Eastern time)
2007-08-21 05:39:02 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You can tell your very young children that everybody must die one day. This is how God allowed it to be. Explain that many people, like their grandfather, die because they are very old or very sick.
Ask them to pray every day for their grandfather, that he will be with God in Heaven. We cannot say for sure whether our loved ones go to Heaven or Hell or Purgatory because God is the judge. Saying "grandfather is in Heaven" is not anyone's call to make except the Lord's.
Having your children pray, even the littlest ones, will give them something to do and they will be truly helping the grandfather they loved so much.
There is no offense intended here at all, but please don't tell your children that their grandfather is "an angel in Heaven." God does not turn us into angels after we die! Angels are totally different from humans. They are pure spirits and have a special mission from God to be His messengers and servants.
When WE (humans) die, our body is buried and only our soul goes to eternity to be judged. As another person answered, just tell your children the truth. Turning their grandfather into an angel is not the truth.
God bless you and console you in your loss.
2007-08-21 05:46:32 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does he understand death yet? has he experianced it with say a pet? If he understands than sit down and gently tell him. Ask him if he wants to go with you to the funeral, don;t make that decision for him because they need closure just as much as an adult would. If he doesn't understand death yet you will have to explain that before he will understnd grandpa is not coming back. There is lot of very good books about dealing with the death of a family member geared towards his age, buy one that you like and read it together, if you believe in heaven explain he is in a better place watching over him. Ask if he wants to maybe give his grandfather a present to take with him? I lost a great grandmother when I was about 3, I remember the wake and the after funeral gathering. I had drawn a picture for my grandmother of us so that she could take it with her. Seems simple but I fimrly believe that it helped me get through her passing.
2016-05-18 23:43:08 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Last night, while you were sleeping your grandad went to heaven. (The seven year old should understand completely now and the 4 year may have an idea) Grandad will never come back but that is okay because Grandad likes heaven and he will be checking up on you to make sure youre okay. (the 4 year should understand but the 2 year will still be in the dark)We will miss him but one day we will go to heaven and be with Grandad forever. " Stress the fact that Grandad will not come back, he is still with you and that one day you will be with him in heaven. It may take the 2 year time to grasp that "gee, grandad really isnt coming back" and it will take longer for him/her to understand that he is watching him/her. Just whenever the child asks or mentions grandad remind him/her what happened. Eventually he/she will get it. Be sure to have pictures, videos if you have them and stories about grandad so hopefully they will remember him. Sorry for your loss.
2007-08-21 05:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that sometimes god takes people to heaven to help him out with stuff and make them angels, and that they took your great grandfather and that hes not coming back but he said to tell them he loved them and will miss them. I told my nieces and nephews that when my mother died and it helped them cope to know that he didnt just die and wasnt just gone....at least they had something left for the imagination and a good image of what he could be doing while he was gone. And by the way, im so sorry about your loss, I know it can be very hard.
2007-08-21 05:44:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
First, let me say I'm sorry your grandfather died. You are 'in mourning' and are going to be going through 'all of the stages of grief' ... and you should simply 'sit down with your kids' and tell them that their great granddad has died, and he's 'gone to Heaven' ... then give them each a 'big huge hug' and REASSURE THEM that YOU and their other parent are NOT GOING TO DIE anytime soon, nor are they.
Get a book on the stages of grief ... Look for the name Anna Kubler Ross, since she is the 'first' and best to 'explain' the stages and to give 'good advice' on how to 'get through them' as well as how to 'help others go through them' ... then READ IT. You may want to 'cry' but not be 'comfortable' doing that in front of your kids ... but crying is 'the best medicine' and if your kids see you crying it will tell them it's okay if they cry, too ... especially if you can 'huddle together' in this 'first stage' of your grief.
2007-08-21 05:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just tell them the truth, it is always the best way.
If it is difficult to describe you might like to use batteries for their toys as an analagy. For example: "when your toys run out batteries they stop working, well grandad's batteries have run out and he cant have any more". I personally wouldnt get too elaborate re heaven etc, unless that is special your faith, just keep it simple. kids are very resilient. my condolences for your loss, it is harder for you than them, trust me.
2007-08-21 06:07:58 · answer #6 · answered by dancing queen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your family's loss.
If heaven is what you want your kids to believe, then you simply tell them that. Tell them whatever family beliefs you have regarding death & afterlife.
It's OK for them to see you sad about this. You are sad. There is no reason to pretend that you aren't. They should know that it's OK to miss someone after they've passed away.
2007-08-21 05:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Everything dies, everyone dies, its normal. Part of life. People are meant to be with God, and then they are old and their life on earth is done, they go home with him, and their empty bodies are put in the ground.
We'll see them again when we get to heaven.
2007-08-21 05:48:55 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the truth!!! my godson was 4 when we told him his best friend who was 3 passed away he visits his grave weekly still to this day. be honest don't make up fairy tales
2007-08-21 05:42:40 · answer #9 · answered by JACKIE 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
just like that, and explain he was very old
2007-08-21 06:01:02 · answer #10 · answered by melissa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋