Do we really choose our religion?

Question

Do we ever give our kids a good chance to decide whether or not they truly believe in something or do we instill our own values onto them? It seems that many religions force their beliefs onto the children of that religion. So where is the free will there? Are people "born into" a religion or do they choose?

Maybe I'm missing something here. "Enlighten" me.

Answer 1

If all individuals freely chose their religion, then all religions would be scattered throughout the world. You should be able to look at a map of any country with colors representing religion in populations, and see a good mix. That isn't the case.

It isn't the case because it isn't just religion that is playing a part. Our entire culture is seeped in Christianity. Many people feel that they are somehow enlightened because they "choose" to be Atheist, etc, but in reality, this also is a reflection of our culture. We teach people to question authority. To think on their own. Science is touted by our culture as having validity.

People raised in a country that firmly believes that religion should be the law of the land (think Islam) will not tolerate Atheism. They incorporate science, so that isn't an issue. But I would bet that there are more self-proclaimed Atheists in the United States than in most Muslim populations.

Indviduals have free will, but they are heavily influenced by their environment. This includes the religion that they are raised with, the influence of their family, their immediate community (the South? California? North Easterners?), their country.

It isn't religion's fault. That's just the way it is. It is up to each individual to accept responsibility for their own choices when they are mature enough to do so.

Answer 2

I will be happy to. :D   Parents often try to force their religion on their children. Sometimes they send them to religious schools. But in the end, the child has the final say. If the child dies as a child, their relationship to god is what their judgement is based on.

Some children grown up, and renounce the faith they grew up in. Some become athiests, some agnostics, and some just some other form of christianity or a different religion.

Some parents tell the children from the start that they can make up their own minds, but they are few and far between. I only know two off hand.

~Cindy! :)

Answer 3

The simple answer is "both."

Children's spiritual sensibilities are like language. They are there, but they have to be taught. Just like a child has to be taught their own native language before they can develop second language skills, so it is also impossible to give children the tools they need to choose their religious path, unless parents raise the children in a household that reflects their own religious path.

You do this now.

Are you an atheist? You are likely raising your kids - consciously or not - in an environment that reflects that... one that emphasizes humanism and non-determinism, one where the occasional sting of a religious person's insensitive remark has a lasting impact.

Are you a pagan? When your kids see you performing solstice rights, etc, regardless of any open-minded talk you give them about later "choosing your own path," you in fact are shaping some of the things they will come to believe about spirituality.

A parent cannot help but pass on a bit of who they are. That does not mean a child born into a baptist family is some how "doomed" to always be a baptist. But it will have an influence, just as all things do.

Choice does not mean sterilized "clean rooms" for choosing religion. It means experiencing the fullness of family life, in all its aspects, and then, at the age of reason, embarking on the journey we all take alone. And together.

Answer 4

Did you choose the religion you follow now?
Do you believe that some people aren't as intellectually capable as you are, and are incapable of deciding for themselves after indoctrination?
I was born a Christian, and became a Taoist when I was 13, I'm still a Taoist at 24. You raise your children with the values you know and understand, and eventually they decide for themselves which values matter to them. This is true for all children. Sure, the path of least Resistance is the religion of their fathers, and of their grandfathers before them, but everybody doubts at some point in their life, especially in our modern age where evolution is taught in schools, and the axioms of the bible simply no longer seem as axiomatic.
It's a good argument, that imposing religion negates their freedom of choice, but it is hingent on one subtle, but irrefutable fact--if that is true, then those who choose to believe otherwise are superior--and that's elitist in a way, if you get my meaning. It's subtle, but it's there. I don't believe that, everybody decides for themselves at a certain age. I mean, I'm not completely egalitarian, I don't believe everyone is completely equal, but I do believe that on something as major as morality, life, existence, most people will really start thinking about and formulate their own thoughts and opinions.

Answer 5

We choose our own religion, eventually, if we truly grow up. A few parents try to stay "neutral" and don't expose their children directly to any religious practices or ideas. But questions arise, it's part of living among other people. Explanations from outside a faith experience can only go so far, especially when explaining abstract concepts to children.

So most parents raise their children in the faith with which they are familiar. It provides a cultural frame of reference for understanding the world and our relationship with it. The idea is that the spirit doesn't develop in a vacuum. You need a base medium to grow in. It may not be "perfect", but it is a working system.

Eventually a time comes when the child questions basic assumptions about who he is and what he believes. That's part of maturing and developing a self-identity. Religion is usually part of that re-evaluation. The child may explore new religious or philosophical paths and even reject his previous faith. Or he may develop a new, more appropriate way of relating to his birth faith. If one never questions one's faith, one is likely to have a childish understanding of it, with childish consequences.

One's will is as free to choose a faith as it is to choose a culture, a political ideology, or a lifestyle. It just takes time and a little distance from the folks. In the meantime, you at least have an understanding of ONE religion. (Only 498 to go.)

Answer 6

I know people that were raised in a certain religion. But just bc you were raised in it and know all the "right answers" doesn't mean you believe it in your heart. Some people who don't believe change faiths or outwardly reject it. I think this is more common:
-They don't think about it much and assume they are covered bc their parents were.
-THey stop going to church or reading the Bible or praying in adulthood
-It does not affect their lives at all
-They have no relationship with God
-They never had that moment when they told God that they wanted to be his and meet him some day.
-It's just not a factor, but outwardly they maintain the ritual
-It's a religion/ritual, not a relationship or a way of thinking and the heart.
-They don't question bc on some level they know their answer would be that they didn't choose God, and that scares them and messes up their comfort zone.

I think there are a lot of people like that out there. People that would not choose God if they weren't raised with it and actually haven't choses God. Honestly, most people question their faith they have been raised with as a teen and either choose to make it important or too ignore. It's easy to ignore things like that. There are a lot of distractions and other things to live for. If God is not important enough to you to make up your mind about, or important enough to seek or think about, you've said no to faith by default.

Answer 7

In my opinion we do not chose our religion. In a lot of cultures the religion of the parents is the religion that is taught in the house. From the day the kid is born he/she is indoctrinated with all these beliefs of the particular faith in the house and therefore they never question it as they believe that it is the "absolute truth". For example: the minute a muslim child is born he/she always sees/hears the word "allah". Boys are cicumsized from the minute they are born and no one ever asks why a part of the kids penis is being cut off, even if they do ask its always the same crapo of an answer "this is the what god wanted blah blah blahhhhhh" The girl must wear a head scarf without question. Although the girl might ask "why" her answer may seem "normal" at home but outisde the house wearing a head scarf because you do not want any men looking at you in a sexual way is not considered "normal". The kids raised in a particular religion are torn between whats normal home or outside the home? Yah so there is no free will, kids at an age of 1 month are considered "Christian/Muslim/Hindu/Sikh" when they did not consent to being part of a religion and have NO idea what a relgion even is! You cannot baptize a kid without their consent, your FORCING the religion on the kid. As the kid grows older he/she never questions the religion and always follows it and if he/she even thinks of converting or leavign the faith he/she can be disowned. A baby is never born a Christian/Muslim/Sikh/Hindu, these ideals are inforced on them. No one ever choses to be part of a religion.

I never chose to be part of the Sikh religion. Once I entered University all of what my parents taught me made no sense to me. I began to question in philosophy class and came to my own conclusion with my own conscience that there is no God and that nothing that I was ever taught/no ritual/way of dressing made sense. My parrents arent happy but what are they going to do control my mind?

Answer 8

I was, in your words, "born into" Catholicism. I had it drummed into my brain up until it came time for me to be Confirmed (reluctantly).

I chose my religion now (Wicca). I don't "hate" Catholicism or Christianity, I just disagree with it. It took me a while to break the bonds Christianity had on me, but now I feel my life is fuller and more complete.

Yes, some religions force their beliefs on children, but there is always a way to break out of it.

We are born into our religions, but there is an element of choice for the willing.

Answer 9

parents teach what they know to their children. what do you want them to do get them books on all religions at age four and tell them to read them and find people in those religions for them to talk with.of course Buddhists teach children their way .when the children or grown then they then have decisions to make spiritually.they have free will, but you cant expect all parents to teach their children ALL paths to God.that would be confusing for children to try to comprehend,. i did tell my children of other paths. but i still brought them to a Christian church because i was raised that way and its traditional.and a good foundation.spiritualy.and then later they went their own way.i gave them what i could.with love. if you have love then that's an important thing.
by asking of the spirit of God is where we get wisdom and true knowledge.no matter the religion.i went from Christianity to Eckanakar.then Buddhism then khrisna then studied most all religions.what i found out spiritually is what makes me who i am .their one God .one psirit of God and a soul in each of us. and God understands that we have many religions.

Answer 10

Most people are born into their religion. Those who were not born into it, went looking for a religion that was more compatible with what they already want to believe. Almost no one decides to join a religion that requires them to make dramatic changes in their way of life.