My friend's kindergartener was put on his knees by the teacher. Is this okay?

Question

I have never heard of this as a form of punishment. I thought time-out was the norm. Is the that still acceptable in some schools? If not, what should I do?

I do not mean having the child just sit on his knees. This is usually a catholic-type of punishment - kneeling in the corner, sometimes on rice. I think if someone uses this punishment, it should be a home-based punishment. Not something done in school.

I know why he was put on his knees - he talks a lot. But it's the first week of school and he did not attend daycare or pre-school. I think the only thing missing was a dunce cap.

Answer 1

It is important in situations such as these to not jump to conclusions. If the child came home and said his teacher did this to him, then his parents should speak directly to his teacher for an explanation of the circumstances. A conference between the boy's teacher, his parents, and the school principal is the first logical step to resolve this problem if the teacher's explanation is unacceptable. I have been a mom for 28 years to 4 kids, now ages 28, 25, 22, and 10. I have also been a licensed child care provider in my home for 20 years and I have an early elementary education degree. Children often say things that don't quite have all the facts. That is why it is important to get all the information first before jumping to a conclusion. It may be that other kids were talking about how this could happen if you didn't behave, or perhaps he witnessed it yet it didn't happen to him directly. It is not that the child is lying necessarily, it is just that a 5 year old's perception of an event is quite different than an older child's or an adults. I am not familiar with the term "being put on his knees" so I am not sure of the appropriateness of its use as a form of discipline. What may be best for you to do is help your friend keep a level head until all the facts are in. Then, if there is a legitimate issue, be supportive of your friend as she goes through the possibly difficult steps to resolve this situation. Your role with the school should be limited to perhaps attending school board meetings if the issue needs to go as far as that. Each teacher, school, and principal handles discipline problems in different ways. In our school district, positive reinforcement is stressed as a prevention for problems. Serious discipline problems are generally handled outside the classroom by the principal so the rest of the class has as little disruption as possible. Your friend's child's school should have a written policy as to how discipline issues are handled.

Answer 2

The child should have gotten in trouble for talking but not to that extent when the child is new to the entire school situation. My children act up and they get punished for it but not when they dont know any better or are still in the adjustment faze of everything. Now if the child was a constant trouble or getting on to them a few or more times didnt work then yes. Children need discipline and early on is the best time because what you learn young you never forget. I have seen children who would hit or bite or constantly mouth off that serious need a spanking or something similar to adjust their attitude but some people will snap and do that for the smallest things even when the kid didnt know any better. The teacher needs to be brought in and have a talk with not only the parents and the principle but the child as well so that the child can be asked if its true what happened exactly as the teacher says it did and if not what did happen. Some teachers try to lie and cover their butt and with the child there they can tell you if its a lie or not. Granted the child may not tell the whole truth but you will know if the teacher is to. If a mutual agreement cannot be reached between the teacher parent and principle then the child should be placed in a different class.

Answer 3

Well I have volunteered in both of my daughters kindergarten classes and I have to side somewhat with the teacher on this.

There have honestly been times when they do not have an extra chair in the class, so maybe that is why he was on his knees. And when you have 20+ kids to deal with, you cannot have the class ruled by the one who will not listen. I am sure he was warned a time or two. And it is not the teachers fault he was never in preschool, he should have been told you listen to your teacher period.
Schools cannot really punish kids today and there were days the teacher actually spent more time correcting the kids who cannot behave than teaching the 15 kids who are sitting quietly waiting to be taught.
Being put on your knees is not really any different than being put in a chair. Kids have to learn to follow the rules at school. You cannot get defensive every time your child gets in trouble at school. Mine I simply said then don't behave that way and it wont happen again. Its not like he was verbally attacked by the teacher, he was put on his knees.
Go volunteer in his class and get a true look at what it is like for the teachers and helpers and kids who do behave.

Answer 4

I would say your friend should speak to the director/principal. Peacefully, calmly. If this is the accepted way of disciplining students in the school, she has some choices to make. If this is not an accepted way of disciplining, but the teacher did it, then the principal needs to take action against the teacher.

Schools have rules. Not at all parents will agree with all the rules. As long as the rules are clear and uniformly applied, parents should support the school rules or leave the school.

As much as we think our kids are cute, it is a whole different story with 15 or 20 or 25 of them inside a classroom, with a teacher who has to get some stuff done as well as dealing with kids acting up.

Timeouts are a nice concept. But, what is the teacher to do if kids don't respect timeout?

Answer 5

How odd. Is this child in public school? They do not do this in public schools anymore. If he's in catholic schools, or a private school, all bets are off.

I would go to the Teacher of the child and find out more. Mostly so you can say you tried to talk to her about why this is not OK with you. After that meeting I'd walk down the hall and wait until the Principal of that public school can see me, and I would in no uncertain terms make sure they know what's being done to punish in this teachers classroom and that it is NOT to happen again to your son. Let her talk to the teacher and get back to you about this.

Make some serious noise so this does not happen to him again.

Answer 6

I'm sure the child did something wrong but I still don't agree with the punishment. I would not do that to my own child and I'd be damnned if anyone is going to.

I can't believe these parents here who think the school should be hitting there kids. NO WAY. If my son needs a spanking it's going to come from me. I'm not going to allow someone I hardly know hit my child! I will do what needs to be done.

I hate to say this but this is a perfect example of why children need to go to preschool. They learn so much more about how to control themselves. It's a proven fact that kids who go to preschool do better in school. My son went to preschool when we was three and has been in school ever since. He's only gotten in trouble two times in the past six years.

I am sure the child did something that was wrong, and I think he should have been put on time out, or sent to the principal's office and they should have notified the parents. But that child should not have been forced down on his knees. If I was that child's mother I'd be in the school complaining right now.

Once I walked in on my older son's teacher screaming at the class. She was calling them idiots and stupid and cussing at them. I got her transferred out to another class. I think she should not be working with kids in the first place. I don't think that was right.

Answer 7

For on ingredient, that's no longer abuse. Having to sit down down on his knees is an uncomfortable place in lots of circumstances in spite of the shown fact that it is not painful. particularly some human beings do no longer understand that as quickly as soreness OR soreness are in touch in a disciplinary undertaking that's two times or extra possibly to stick. in any different case they're going to finally end up repeating the habit that have been given them in hassle. My suggestion is to enable it slide.

Answer 8

I grew up in the 1970's and we had the threat of being paddled and all I can tell you is that we ALL behaved except for one or two kids who were promptly removed from the school permanently and sent away and we had none of the problems that you see in the schools now. Our teachers spent 95% of the time teaching, not disciplining. There was a teacher who we all feared getting out of line with but when I became a parent and bought my first home, his brother was my insurance agent and I told him to thank his brother for me and that I wish we still had teachers like him!

BTW, I am not saying all kids need to be spanked, but I can tell you that some kids could care less about time out. I have a daughter to whom time-out meant nothing, because she was very creative and would sit there and amuse herself. She's 16 now.

Answer 9

Please explain what you mean put on his knees..

In no situation do I think a child being punished in school when not allowed by his/her own parents is acceptable. I think the laws are totally screwed up when it comes to parenting and raising kids. I do n ot understand how paddling in schools was a debate when you tell me if I spank my own kids then its child abuse but the state wants to give the schools the right to do it, I think its crazy that if I put my child in a car w/o a seat belt I get a ticket but its ok for the school systems to put my child on a bus with no protection what so ever, right now our schools are going half days because of the heat only because the bus drivers complained and students were passing out cause it was 115 on the buses BUT the last time I heard it was child endangerment to leave your child in the car when heat can rise that high. I think personally what that teacher did humiliated your friends child. If the teacher was having a problem that she felt needing to be attended to she should have sent the student to the office where the child could be privately disiciplined. now yes sometimes public humiliation does steer the child correct however in kindergarten I do not feel that is neccessary.

I do think you should talk your friend into going to the school to speak with the principle and the teacher in a conference to let her know for future reference she needs to take another route, whether that means send ing the child to the office, contacting parents or sending a note home. I think a parent should at least be given the chance to handle it first.

Please dont get me wrong I am not against disciplining, I disicipline my kids and I do not oppose to anyone when left in their care to do the same but I do not agree with the rights being taken from parents but allowed by strangers and the so many complaints about kids and their behavior, well since it is now against the law what do they expect. If the law allows parents to disicipline as we were disiciplined then the kids these days wouldnt be 90% a statistic. I just feel there is a way that the child should have been disiciplined but not to put the child on his knees, stand in a corner, tell him no free time, but to put a child on his/her knees thats just seems belittiling to me.

Answer 10

Why aren't you concerned about why the kid was put on his knees?


Your question is like someone asking "Is it okay for a mother to knock a child to the ground?" People automatically think that it isn't. But if the circumstances under which she did it were that car was coming straight at the kid, so she knocked him to the ground to get him out of its path, then they would think otherwise.

The reason behind the punishment, what the kid did that resulted in it, matters.