Totally overwhelmed?

Question

I'm trying to get back in school, move out of my house, leave my boyfriend, and get away from this shitty drag of every day life that I'm dealing with right now. I've just got so much on my plate right now, and I was just wondering, for other people in my situation, what do you do to cope with everything that's going on? Like what relazes you, and what helps you keep focus

I live on with my boyfriend at the present time, and he cheated on me over the weekend, so I'm looking for new place to go, to start fresh. I hope by October, I'll be in good hands, and I'll be back on my feet.

And last night, I called my friend to talk, and he was busy. I was crying, and I just wanted some form of comfort, but he wasn't there to give it to me. I feel so resentful of him for doing that, but I hate that I feel that way, because i know that every other time I've needed him, he was right there by my side comforting me, and helping me out of whatever situation I had gotten myself into. Why do I feel like this towards him even though he usually does help?

Answer 1

That is a lot. I was in a similar spot some 15 or so years ago.

For leaving the boyfriend, that is simple: Tell him to get lost. You don't need to carry him too. Keep in mind that I don't know the details, and it's not really my business.

Have you located a place? If so, take a day and get a couple of friends to help you move. If not, rent a storage unit of some kind and put everything in it that you won't need before you move. That will simplify matters.

Between work and school, something has got to give. You might need to lighten your school load until you get everything else settled, or even drop school altogether for a few months.

Good luck, Honey!

Answer 2

In March I was hit and killed (brifely) by a drunk driver, had to recover, move (to a hell hole I'm dying in) and get married all within 4 months. I hate where I live, horrid upstairs tenants that torture us and dont let us sleep, I can't recover. Just came from the doctor this morning and had blood taken and was prescribed xanax and lexapro for severe anxiety. I can't cope anymore with life, especially having no where to go to call home. Your best bet is go see your doctor explain to him the stress you are experiencing and maybe he/she can give you something as a short term treatment. Not all prescribed drugs are bad for you, some are mild and can help you out. Good luck in school and with everything else; remember to breathe, it'll be over in a month or 2.

Answer 3

Coping with Stress

How can I change my lifestyle habits to manage stress better?

Get enough sleep: Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally. See Helpguide's Getting the sleep you need
Connect with others: Develop a support system and share your feelings. Perhaps a friend, family member, teacher, clergy person or counselor can help you see your problem in a different light. Talking with someone else can help clear your mind of confusion so that you can focus on problem solving.
Exercise regularly: Find at least 30 minutes, three times per week to do something physical. Nothing beats aerobic exercise to dissipate the excess energy. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. During times of high stress, choose things you like to do. It also is beneficial to have a variety of exercise outlets. Be physically fit in ways appropriate for your age, rather than being sedentary.
Eat a balanced, nutritious diet: Be mindful of what you put in your body. Healthy eating fuels your mind, as well as your body. Take time to eat breakfast in the morning, it will help keep you going throughout the day. Eating several balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day will give you the energy to think rationally and clearly. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress. See Helpguide's Healthy Diet / Healthy Eating.
Reduce caffeine and sugar: Avoid consuming too much caffeine and sugar. In excessive amounts, the temporary "highs" they provide often end in fatigue or a "crash" later. You’ll feel more relaxed, less jittery or nervous, and you’ll sleep better. In addition, you’ll have more energy, less heartburn and fewer muscle aches.
Don’t self-medicate with alcohol or drugs: While consuming alcohol or drugs may appear to alleviate stress, it is only temporary. When sober, the problems and stress will still be there. Don’t mask the issue at hand; deal with it head on and with a clear mind.
Do something for yourself everyday: Take time out from the hustle and bustle of life for leisure time. Too much work is actually inefficient and can lead to burnout. Recognize when you are most stressed and allow yourself some reasonable breaks. When things feel especially difficult, take a walk or change your scenery. Most importantly, have fun. Do things that make you happy.

How can I change my thinking and emotional responses to handle stress better?

Have realistic expectations:Know your limits. Whether personally or professionally, be realistic about how much you can do. Set limits for yourself and learn to say “no” to more work and commitments.
Reframe problems: See problems as opportunities. As a result of positive thinking, you will be able to handle whatever is causing your stress. Refute negative thoughts and try to see the glass as half full. It is easy to fall into the rut of seeing only the negative when you are stressed. Your thoughts can become like a pair of dark glasses, allowing little light or joy into your life.
Maintain your sense of humor: This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. Watch a funny movie: the sillier the plot the better. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways. See Helpguide's Humor, laughter and health.
Express your feelings instead of bottling them up: In order to live a less stressful life, learn to calm your emotions. A good cry during periods of stress, or sharing your concerns with someone you trust can be healthy ways to bring relief to your anxiety.
Don’t try to control events or other people: Many circumstances in life are beyond your control, particularly the behavior of others. Consider that we live in an imperfect world. Learn to accept what is, for now, until the time comes when perhaps you can change things.
Ask yourself “Is this my problem?” If it isn't, leave it alone. If it is, can you resolve it now? Once the problem is settled, leave it alone. Don't agonize over the decision, and try to accept situations you cannot change.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm

Answer 4

I don't know if you're religious and I don't mean to offend you, but don't ever forget to ask Lord's help. And you already know what you have to do besides what I've told you, you've said it yourself. Getting back to school is a really good decision. Good luck and God bless you!
P.S.: Why do you have to move out of your house?

Answer 5

Just take one day at a time. And realize that it will get better. Keep you mind on your goals and realize how good it will be when you achieve them!

Edit: Ok, I have just read the edit that you posted. maybe it is time for you to quit being so dependant on others and learn to stand on your own two feet! My god, listen to yourself, my bf cheated so i can't lean on him and the other guy i always lean on itsn't there for me now. maybe because you have been to needy in the past? Grow up, be responsible, move on, and depend on yourself for a change!

Answer 6

Practise daily, and when needed, one of the relaxation techniques at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 2, and 11.

Answer 7

Prayer, faith, and taking things one step at a time.

Answer 8

keep breathing.

it is the easiest and hardest thing to do...

Answer 9

I've been in some very negative states of mind and emotion and I know it's not easy. Sometimes we think that the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off, especially when we don't have money to pay the bills, school fees, homework, family problem

Rather than being annoyed, be amused. Instead of getting angry, become curious. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Negative energy is just positive energy that's flowing in the opposite direction.

There's no need to fight or run away from that negative energy. All you need to do is change its direction. The more negative you are, the more positive you can be. An automobile that can travel 70 miles per hour to the east can also travel just as fast when going west. But first, someone must turn it around. When you sense yourself becoming negative, stop and consider what it would mean to apply that negative energy in the opposite direction. Turn your sadness into caring. Transform your complaints into useful suggestions.
Change your bitterness into determination. The energy is already there. All you need to do is change its direction.

If it's something that lightens your mood and doesn't hurt anyone, yes. some very simple things can calm you down and put you in a better frame of mind. Simple, but very soothing and it took me a long time to learn that I didn't need to let my thoughts and emotions control me. It's normal to worry a bit, sometimes we do have to spend a few minutes worrying or on the pity pot - as long as we don't stay there.

Maybe what you can think about working on is just taking a baby step toward what you want. You can make a start by being grateful for the things you already have: Food in your stomach, a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and internet access! Then you can start using daily affirmations. Look at yourself in the mirror several times a day and tell yourself how great you are! Everybody has something they're good at, remind yourself of those things. Start researching a subject you've always been curious about and expand your knowledge. Eliminate negative words from your vocabulary: Instead of can't, CAN! Instead of "I don't have enough money" say "The money for that item is coming!" Just a few things to get you started.

Prayer. There is always an oppurtunity in everything. BUt I just pray and let the spirit lead me man. Let God work it out. Turn your stress and anxiety over to him. Let Him deal with it

So what you can do is write down all the things you DON'T want (the way your problem is) and then write down the exact opposite... The point is always in ACTION. Thinking about it is the first step... the second step is believing in it... the third step is acting like you believe in it... and the fourth is in being in a place where you can receive it.

Check all these desires of yours against those steps.

When things get tough, do something that makes you happy. Listen to some good music. Meditate. Watch a funny tv show or movie. Read a good book. Play cards with a friend. Whatever works for you to reduce your stress and make you more joyful. Sometimes you are where you are supposed to be for a reason. Perhaps it isn't time for you to move on. Don't give up on your dream. Work a little at a time to prepare yourself for the time when you have the success that you want. Get things in order. Use this time wisely as you may become very busy soon and feel overwhelmed if you don't have your home and affairs in order. It sounds like you have decided upon one path to take. Often life presents more than one way to reach your goal. I believe opportunites will come and you must be open to new experiences. Even if you think it isn't your chosen path this new occurance may lead to other opportunities in ways that you may not recognize at first. As long as you keep your eyes on your goal and keep moving forward success will come to you. I believe that toxic people can make you sick, even shorten your life. The best thing to do is to do something for yourself, leave so you can live by yourself and go after what you want in life. The more you stay with the same people, the more your life will stay the same. Also, every time you catch yourself saying something negative, keep changing it around. You're seeing how it works to some degree... just intensify it

Another one is Thinking positive thoughts

Thought is the only power that can produce tangeble riches from the formless substance. The stuff from which all things are made, is a substance which thinks. A thought of form in this substance produces the form. Original substance moves according to its thoughts. Every form and process you see in nature is the visible expression of a thought in the original substance. As it thinks of a form it takes that form. As it thinks of motion, it makes that motion. That is the way all things are created. We live in a thought world. And this world is part of a thought universe. The original thought of a moving universe, first extended throughout the formless substance. The thinking stuff resulting from that thought, took the form of systems of planets. And continues to maintain that form. thinking substance takes the form of its thought and moves according to the thought. I think it is important to be surrounded by positive and supportive people. that is a first step. finding a group like this one can be the beginning. Toxic people are all around, energy suckers.. i just can not afford and want to be around people like this.. you need to be around people that love you and support you, that want the best for you. You can also meditate to find that peace within and take time for yourself in nature. 1. Every night, half an hour before retiring, go to your room, where you can be entirely alone & as remote as possible from noise and distraction. 2. Seat yourself in a wide & comfortable chair, or, better still, lie down on your back at full length. See that your clothing is loosened, so that you will suffer no distressing annoyance on this account. Compose yourself as if for sleep, assuming a position of restfulness, abandon & utter relaxation. Close your eyes, letting the lids rest lightly on your cheeks. 3. Shut your mind resolutely against every form of bodily sensation. Forget for the time that you are encumbered with a body. 4. Bar out of your consciousness every memory, every thought of the past. 5. Build a mental picture of the thing you want to have, to do or to be – the one thing that you immediately desire first & most of all. By this we mean nothing indefinite. We do not refer to ultimate aims that can come only as the result of long periods of effort. We mean something specific, something that can be yours tomorrow, something that in itself constitutes the next step in your chosen career. 6. See yourself finding the ways and means of realizing your desire, overcoming obstacles one after another, all the obstacles that can possibly arise. See yourself called upon to display, & displaying, alertness, promptness, courage, confidence, resourcefulness, patience, push, enterprise, expert knowledge, insight, shrewdness, tact, self-control, decision. See yourself face to face with the situation that confronts you in real life and manifesting the qualities & doing the things necessary to your purpose. Put yourself body & soul into this picture. Multiply details. Rivet your mind upon it. 7. Advance step by step, logically, wisely, consistently, to the climax of the drama. See yourself winning out. See yourself solving the problem, getting the thing you want, acting the part you desire to play. Detach your spirit from the flesh of this world & incorporate it in the mental image of yourself. Live the victory mentally until a sense of its reality permeates your soul. 8. Make your dream picture as delightful as possible. Dwell upon it with joyful satisfaction. Warm your heart with a feeling of thankfulness that that which you have so long desired is really yours. This feeling of gratitude, this emotional element, will bring forth associations that will give life to the picture & will animate your faith. Keep yourself tight shut in this dream world for at least fifteen minutes. 9. Arise and make your preparations for the night. Then upon retiring once more close your eyes & let your mind dwell upon your vision for five or ten minutes or until you fall asleep. Let it be the last thing in your thoughts as you become unconscious. 10. Every time you are awake during the night call the mental picture before you & keep it in consciousness as long as you remain awake. 11. In the morning, immediately upon awaking, repeat the procedure set out in the third, fourth and fifth instructions. 12. The more of your spare time you spend in this way, the more promptly will you actualize your ideals. By repeated concentration, every detail of the image of your desire will be so deeply engraved upon your mind as to exert an influence throughout the day. It will inhibit wasteful emotions and impulses. It will give you poise and self-possession. It will so inspire you with its promise as to awaken an energizing response in the profoundest depths of your subconsciousness.

A friend of mine and coach also recommended to have on a bathroom mirror " I am lovable and totally deserving" If you can build an image in your mind and hold it, you will attract all that is required for the manifestation of it. Look at it this way, Your hand is made of energy. It's a mass of molecues at a very high speed of vibration. What's a glass made of? Energy. What's water made of? Energy. Now if you take and boil that water that water is not called water any more it will be called steam. It's the same energy, just moving at a different speed. What's the glass made from? Energy. Use to be sand. what we've done is alter the molecular structure of the energy and we've turned the sand into glass. Still the same form of stuff. Thought and energy is one. Thought waves are cosmic waves that penetrate all time and space. There is one original formless substance, and which all things are made. Where does everything start? it starts in thought and whats thought? Thoughts energy. Thought in substance produces shapes. A human being is a thinking center, capable of original thought. So you are a thinking center. You're the center of thought. Thoughts are on the present, thought energy is everywhere. And this energy moves in to your conciousness. And you can think anything that you want to think. If anyone of us can communicate our thought to original substance, we can cause the creation or formation of the thing we think about. That's a Huge Idea. So.....begin right now to calm your mind. Bring yourself to a place of peace and be open to loving direction. Keep in mind that the direction or help offered may not be what you thought it would be. It is important that you not dictate. When I say submission....I mean submission. Also, in order to receive miracles and blessings, YOU MUST BE WILLING TO ACCEPT THEM! Be on the lookout for small things offered. Give thanks and receive the gift. (Even if it is something as small as advice). Be aware. Search

When inspired with guidance...now, you must pick yourself up and take action. Swift action. You'll know if it is divine revelation. If the guidance is life affirming, (either to you or someone else)...get up and just do it! Don't wait. Yes, it is possible for something to be handed to you; but taking action on guidance should be just as much of a miracle to be realized. Everybody's journey will be different and unique to their own personal experience although what I've suggested here is the beginning foundation necessary. After you've worked yourself out of an immediate crisis; a few important questions should arise for your consideration. How do you move forward and close the gate behind? What are you going to do to build a better life? I don't think you want to come back to this horrible wretched place again...right?

Well; to build anything, you must start on a firm foundation. You've started your building process by changing the way you think. You've planted the good seeds. Now, the good seeds must be fed and nurtured to grow. But what about all those weeds? The weeds must be pulled up, one at a time or they will over run the good seeds of your garden again. There is still more work to be done for a good foundation. I know some are thinking they already have a good foundation in place and want to start moving forward on their journey. I suggest they ask themselves a question before beginning; Look at your surroundings right now....what do you see?

If your life is in chaos, your surroundings are a mess, (literally and figuratively), your health is substandard, have addictions or a number of spirit killing situations....then you need to work on yourself FIRST. Remember...God is not the author of chaos. This is also true for those who have asked for advice, paid for programs and/or coaches and nothing seems to work. If the advice received is good and nothing is working; then something of a higher priority should be attended to. If you are in bad health or physical pain...your body is trying to tell you something. Listen to the alarms going off! Your state of mind has manifested EVERYTHING you are experiencing right now.

Working on yourself first before starting any new venture, or relationship is absolutely necessary because it is YOU holding you back. The traditional way is to gather a group that has an interest in what is being "stormed." Go around the table and each person may present an idea. Only one at a time. Someone must act as "secretary" and record the ideas on a large tablet that everyone can read. Only one or two ideas to a page. Keep going around the room until no one has anything further to offer. No idea or comment is off limits doing this. Once everyone is done the moderator of the group goes back over each idea. Some will need to be discounted as not being practical, others will have merit to consider further. The refined list then goes to management who will decide which ideas are implemented

Focus on quantity
No criticism
Unusual ideas are welcome
Combine and improve ideas

Set the problem
Determine and specify the problem which needs a solution. Every participant must know the problem.

Generate ideas
Generate as many ideas as possible. Keep in mind the four basic brainstorm rules and record the good ideas. Continue for five to fifteen minutes.

Select best idea
Select the most appropriated idea from the suggested ideas

I have tried to get you to see that the power to change is within you. That when you focus on others and see yourself as a victim, that you will give that power to them and forever remain a victim. The key is in knowing clearly what you want, and focusing on THAT not what stops you. Then let go and let God. Allow ideas to come to you, have faith that people WILL help you (if you don't trust them, as you don't trust anyone in Singapore, then you will reject God's attempts at sending you helpers) Finally be ready to take action when the moment arrives and don't fear what comes next... go forth boldly. This is what I came into your life to tell you. Now it's up to you to make it happen

There's a book called "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful". It describes how failures happen to everyone, only the successful people never give up. They understand that failure is part of the process, so when things go wrong, or people try to stop them, they just keep going until they succeed

Somehow...someway...you got to where you are now because of how you think. I'm going to make a suggestion Please take the time to read a very short book, - You can also go to any bookstore in the "classic" section and buy it. It's called, "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen and was written in the 1800's. This book is deep and every single sentence has wisdom; so it is something that has to be read and studied slowly. I highly recommend this little book, because it changed many life in a profound way.
After reading, "As A Man Thinketh" and ABSORBING what it says...you will begin to understand why I am sending you in this direction before starting your journey

My idea - "How to win friends and influence people" is an awesome book and I highly recommend you pick it up. The book goes into detail on how to be more of a selfless, encouraging, and humble person and those attributes we'll attract people to you. One of my favorite lines of the book says that 'you can make more friends in two weeks by taking an interest in others then you can in two years trying to tell others about yourself'. My suggestion to a book it’s a book called the conversations with God. There are 3 in the series. You may want to read them and see where that takes you as a start to getting your life on track. You can go on the web and search Neale Donald Walsh as he is the author and has several very good sites

Life can always be difficult at times. The key is to realize that there is another Law called the Law of Polarity. For every negative, there is a positive. For every up, there is a down. We tend to stay focused on the negative, but the sight should be on the fact that there is a positive in direct proportion to the negative. Always keep your focus on your dream and possibility, and never on your current situation. CREATE what you DO want in your mind, and ignore what you DON'T want. And don't let the present situation that you don't like be your focus, againfocus on what you DO like and want. Then TRUST and BELIEVE. If you do not, then your situation cannot change.

I'm wishing you well and sending love your way. Hope this helps, Warm Regards, and thank you for your question.