Before I start im 17, grew up with a crazy childhood, no drugs or alcoholism, or anything. Just a very demanding mom and her constant yelling. I get set off at my girlfriend for stupid things and I will yell at her and she doesnt like it, I DONT LIKE IT either, how do I stop this I love her to death...I also get mad easily at little things and blow through the roof. What can I do to relax and not let these little things bother me? And what can i do to treat my girlfriend with the respect she deserves???
2007-08-21 02:59:00 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
try enrolling in an anger management class. there are free online tips if you google them as well.
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2007-08-21 03:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by Hermes711 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually, (at least that's what I heard) the way you treat your mom is the way you'll act toward your girlfriend or wife. The relationship with mom is not cool and you hold all those feelings inside. Then it bottles up inside of you and you vent them out, unfortunately your innocent girlfriend is taking the heat from it. If there's a way you can write down on paper what's going on within - then set a time you can talk with your mom. I believe that's half the battle and you'll relax a little bit more. If you want to go a little further check out an anger mangement program in your area. You are quite young and should be enjoying this time of your life - but anyway try the things I've mentioned - hope everything works out for you.
2007-08-21 04:10:51 · answer #2 · answered by Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I agree with everyone else, get professional help - see a counselor, pastor, teacher, therapist, or something. But I'm going to say a few other things, too.
You do know that you're not mad at your girlfriend, you're mad at your mom, right? Keep reminding yourself that. Your girlfriend is not your mom. Put the anger where it belongs. Do you feel trapped? You say your mom is "demanding" and yells a lot. Do you think your mom is unfair? Remember that you won't be living with her much longer, and you can begin taking steps now to move out later (get a part-time job, save money, finish school, learn how to write a resume, apply to college, etc.). You may not be able to control your mom, or all of the situations in your life, but you can control how you react to things, how you prepare for things. You have more power than you realize, you don't need to bully your girlfriend just to feel you have control of something.
I think it's cool that you're trying to get help for this now, and not when you're 40 and you've ruined your wife's and children's lives. Good luck!
2007-08-21 03:13:37 · answer #3 · answered by Torchbug 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your yelling appears to be a learned behavior. You mother has instilled in you that when you get angry at the littlest thing or something doesn't go your way in order to feel better you must raise your voice. Try when something makes you mad counting to 20 and then reacting or leaving the room. She is innocent in this. No relationship is perfect, but I would work on your anger problem before you lose your girlfriend. Maybe contact your primary care giver there are medications out there to help with anxiety and anger management. Just calm down you can't control everything in life.
2007-08-21 03:07:33 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her just what you explained to us so that she has an understanding of why you react the way you do. And next time, before you yell - try taking a deep breath (or 2-3) before saying anything. You would be surprised at how much it can help if you take a second to calm down before opening your mouth... As for not letting the little things bother you... You're going to have to tell yourself that it doesn't matter, and there's really no reason to yell about it. It's a mental thing, and you've got to learn to control it...
2007-08-21 03:12:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
god i wish when i was goin through this the person would realize it like u did. Thats the good thing---you know what your doing is wrong. ITs hard to get over stuff like that. I get that way sometimes. i just get mad really easily over little stuff. But you gottta look at the big picture---whats right in front of you, your girlfiend! If she's worth it, you can get through it. Tell her you need her help. inestead of freaking out about something, try counting to 3 or something and take a deep breath, then talk. A huge problem what yoru talking about is you talk before you think. trust me i know. You absolutely have to think everything through and problem solve before you freak out. Ask yourself why something is bothering you and if its worth it. And if your still upset about it tell your girlfirend to talk you through this and problem solve what is wrong and how you two can fix it. It wont help by taking it out on her, so let her guide you and help you with this. You guys will get through this together with understanding, i promise!
2007-08-21 03:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its a bad habit to stop
cuz u r grew up watching it in ur household
my best advice is anger management
atleast u recognize ur problem
good job some people dont even care to change
trust me change man
i lost my ex gf due to the same reason of yelling and screaming at her
i took anger management and now i m better
2007-08-21 03:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by simple J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol it shounds stupid but count to ten, or walk away, because you claim to love her....she will leave you and you will loose her, and even if you move on, it will happen in a future relationship and so on and so on. If it is really bad you can take anger management classes if you feel you are losing her and you can't stop no matter what
2007-08-21 03:07:53 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsay A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've made a start by recognizing your uncontrollable anger. Check to see if there are any anger management courses available in your area. They're free and very helpful.
2007-08-21 03:05:46 · answer #9 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you got a problem but the good thing is that you recognize that....it would help to go to a doctor for some anger management therapy....and talk to your girlfriend about it before she leaves....if she loves you she will understand you have a problem....but promise her your gonna try your best to change it....good luck....remember count till 10 ;p
2007-08-21 03:44:06 · answer #10 · answered by boricua1231 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have had many issues and bad experiences in your life. Now, because of the way you were raised, you have an anger control problem. You need physiotherapy. Your life will not improve until you have counseling. Please, get help for your sake and everyone you come into contact with, sake.
2007-08-21 03:10:01 · answer #11 · answered by SCARLETT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋