im 19 and my boyfriend is 23, we've been together for almost 3 years and we've lived together for about 18 months. i love him dearly but he is so insecure. he is controlling and possesive and is so worried that i'm going to cheat on him (which i would never do). its gotten to the point now where i dont think i can take it anymore, his temper gets out of control sometimes and he constantly puts me down. but hey, its not all bad!! lol. when its good its really good. but those times are few and far between. i lost contact with my friends when we started going out so i have no one i can really turn to. when i think of life without him, i get upset. i cant bare the thought of not being with him everyday. its so hard!!
2007-08-21 02:58:27 · 13 answers · asked by Kirsty 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, it sounds like it is a bad situation for you. Odds are it will only get worse if he does not see a doctor and get some serious help. The problem is that his berating you and putting you down and cutting you off from your friends, which are classic signs of an abuser, has damaged your self-esteem. I recommend calling one of those old friends up and seeing if they will help you anyway, or try your family. Otherwise, you'll just have to do it yourself. If you are unable, talk to your doctor about it and get referred to a counselor who can help you rebuild your confidence. You will be MUCH better off on your own than you will be in this bad relationship. Every minute wasted with a guy who treats you badly is a minute you can't be out there finding the guy that will love you and treat you like the princess you deserve to be treated as. Good luck!
2007-08-21 03:07:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has little or no respect for you. If you allow this abuse, then you're not respecting yourself. You are your own person and don't need to be his door mat. You deserve better, and you know there are better men out there. Make a clean break from him. Put your mind on other things. Yes, it will hurt......a lot, at first. But in time, you'll begin to feel better. And sooner than you think! "Today is the first day of the rest of your life!" Really!
2007-08-21 10:19:59 · answer #2 · answered by blue_skies243 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him if he loves you and if he wants to be with you. if he says yes then tell him the only way that can be is if you go and see some kind of relationship councellor. he is treating you pretty crappy and even if you dont think so, it will be affecting you emotionally which will be a problem for you in the future. time to think about you now. sounds to me like all his putting you down all the time is sticking and you may even start to think he's right in some ways, thats why you cant be without him. this is a kind of abuse. whether he is doing it intentionally or not i dont know so make him see a counsellor with you. i hope things work out for you hun. xx
2007-08-21 10:10:46 · answer #3 · answered by gemma r 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all contolling insecure me are hard to change (impossible) move on, you dont need to be put down by anyone! Friends are forever and they will come back after he is gone. Your young dont compound the problem by getting futher into a bad situation (pregnant). You will find someone that will hold you on that platform and cherish like you deserve
2007-08-21 10:14:42 · answer #4 · answered by m p 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to think with your brain and not your heart. Your heart might tell you that you need him and you can't live without him. But your brain is telling you, hello is anyone in there? WAKE UP! If he can't accept you for you, then there is a problem. If you lost all of your friends over this guy, then there is a problem. And if your friends don't like this man, then that should ring an alarm! Be safe, but think of yourself! Your young! There is many fish in the sea. He has to realize that he can't be mean to you for NO reason.
2007-08-21 10:11:25 · answer #5 · answered by mysticalphotography 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are stuck between a rock and a hard place, there are some awful co-dependency issues happening there. I think you BOTH need professional help, him for his trust, possessiveness and control issues; and you for being so needy that you will live with a bully rather than be on your own. Seriously, you both need help from an unbiased professional therapist.
All the best.
2007-08-21 10:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard yes but hanging around him will not be in your best intrest.So just leave,walk out from his life and never look back.You can't change him without an effort on his part and from what you say his effort is 0%.Okay we all have flaws but when your partners flaws is beyond you,you have no business hanging around him.There are good guys out there who can love you the way you deserve to be loved but you'll never find them as long as you hang around your bf.
2007-08-21 10:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
..it IS hard Kristy.....but it's also not uncommon and abnormal to occasionally get involved with a highly mentally conflicted individual out here either. Crap happens hun.....and crap usually doesn't get dealt with until it happens exactly to YOU sweety. Some counseling and great conversation with some honesty needs to take place reasonably babe....and without it you two will absolutely end up with nothing. If you need more info?...simply e-mail me darlin....I'm a man with open mindedness about most things anyways. I'm better at giving then receiving.....that's simply my affliction though....what's yours darlin?
2007-08-21 10:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by scott s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try and get back in contact with your mates as this usually happens when you start seeing someone and it would give you support, when its meant to be your partner wont put you down so know that theres someone even better around the corner, so go out and have fun your only young once
2007-08-21 10:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by tra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is hard, i've been there, except i had been married to the guy for 16 years, i found the strength, because i focused on what was making me unhappy, and that gave me the courage to walk, i wish you well, just be strong
2007-08-21 11:08:44 · answer #10 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋