Twice now alcohol has been a problem between him and I and twice he has let me down. I know I can not control his drinking and I wouldn't try. I'm not against his drinking, what I don't like is when he drinks himself stupid. He has no self control when we're with other people, esp. his buddies who drink more often then he does and can handle their alcohol. He does not know when to stop even if he's the one driving, even when he tells me before hand that he doesn't plan on drinking that much. I know I can't rely on him when we go out like that, no matter what he says. My night is ruined because I get upset seeing him behave the way he does (I can't even look at him) and it makes it awkward for everyone else. I know he wouldn't like seeing me behave that way but I don't know how else to get through to him other than tell him if that is how he is going to choose to drink then I don't want to be a part of it and I won't go at all.
2007-08-21 02:57:04 · 11 answers · asked by Ersabette 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The first time this happened we did talk and I thought it worked. He started making better choices with his drinking but with it happening the other night I've realized it's going to be an on going problem.
2007-08-21 03:09:08 · update #1
You should talk to him about this. Let him know this is serious and you want to save your relationship but alcohol is ruining it. As you can tell he will keep letting you down. You know yourself that there are a lot of things that alcohol destroys... jobs, marriages, families, etc. Let him know that he can either get this under control or you will be forced to move on with your life. If you don't fix it now, it will only get worse. Please don't let him treat you badly. It is only a matter of time before the alcohol leads to you being hurt.. not only physically but emotionally as well. Everyone deserves a better partner than that. Stay strong and please don't let him walk all over you. Good luck.
2007-08-21 03:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to have this problem with my boyfriend, you're not the only one! It's taken awhile, but he's finally gotten a lot better. He would get really jealous when he'd had too much, so what i did was when I was upset, I would wait til the next day, when we were both sober, and sit him down and talk to him. Have you tried having a serious talk with him about how you feel? You'd be surprised at how effective some well chosen words can be.
2007-08-21 10:05:40 · answer #2 · answered by universitystudent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stated that "I'm not against his drinking".....
I'm sure you've had agruements over it but it seems that you need to take it a step further and be approriately assertive and willing to get on his case about it with more determination. He needs to come to terms with the truth that
he is an alcoholic, plain and simple. Breaking through that denial will be his first major step but it's not easy.
It's not something you should be treating lightly. God forbid that it should take a tragedy to wake him up, or worse! Better start seeking help TODAY!
take it from one who's been there.
2007-08-21 10:14:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this was like reading my own life i will def keep an eye on these answers cause I'm going through that too
he hasn't drank the last 2 times that we went out somewhere but who knows when n if he will again
its so aggravating n embarrassing i cant stand it but i luv him n i know what he is like when he isn't showing off or whatever u want to call it
his friends drink all the time n can handle their alcohol he cant n he still does this ****
they both need to grow up
ugh
good luck
2007-08-21 10:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by thisiswhoim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't handle this yourself
you need to get him help!
especially if he drinks and drives thats one of the most dangerous things you could do!
get a counsiler for him and maybe that will help
otherwise (if the counsiler was no help) ask the counsiler you tried to get help from where else there is to get help!
2007-08-21 10:07:41 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I met someone who broke up with his fiance becaiuse of her drink problem and I can't see any way out of it for you. Talking about it doesn't solve the problem since he wants to keep up with his friends (they must be good friends, seeing the effect they have on him!). Unless he wants to give up booze, you can't make him.
2007-08-21 11:04:42 · answer #6 · answered by jenesuispasunnombre 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine so he can see just how embarrassing it is when your partner is over the top when drunk, you'll probably find he wouldn't like it
2007-08-21 10:04:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They'll always pick alcohol over you. Trust me.
Are you listening to yourself here? Seriously. You need to stop and think about this.
2007-08-21 10:03:44 · answer #8 · answered by Challah back Girl... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, its not worng to expect him to setp up, but he has to know where the line is. you have to tell him when to stop because if you don't he won't stop. sometimes though you have to give in and let him get really drunk, but that should not happen all the time.
2007-08-21 10:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him how you feel about this? Have you told him how important this is to you? Can you ask him "will you please limit yourself to three beers tonight?"
2007-08-21 10:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by hottotrot1_usa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋