it totally sickens me he's 22 and so am i, he hasn't even tried to get intouch with me to see how his daughter is ,, and neither has his family, i'm on my own i've no one to help me ,, what should i do
2007-08-21 02:42:17 · 26 answers · asked by eirn232323 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Keep your head up and stay on your feet for that child. Let him go, he will have his regrets and hopefully you will be smart enough not to fall for him again. To leave you with child ..that is serious.
22 is pretty young he probably wasn't ready to settle down.
2007-08-21 02:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by ~ ♥ ~ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What about your family, can they help you? If they can, ask them for help.
Otherwise, you need to talk to your ex's family. My advice would be to look into getting a solicitor as your ex will have to be approached for maintenance for his daughter - much, much better to do this through the courts, and have a clear record of what has been done and paid. You should certainly try and find out what available to you legally, as it may be that the ex's family will be difficult and try to discourage you from doing this. Then again, they may be very supportive - but it would be a good idea to establish paternity right away, so a DNA test might be necessary.
And someone else gave good advice, find a group for single parents, the moral support would be good for you, and there may also be a babysitting pool of some kind so that you can work and/or have a little break, as well as having practical help.
I know this probably isn't much good, but you're better off without this scumbag and so is your child. You'll come through this a much stronger person.
2007-08-21 03:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. He and the family has serious issues and if it were me, I would not want those type of people around my child. You are strong yet scared at the same time. First. get a child support order issued to make sure that you have income coming in for the child. Secondly, apply for any and all programs, WIC, Food Stamps, what ever your state offers to help you. Focus on you and your child, and let the rest go. You and your child will be better off in the long run. When the child is old enough to understand where daddy is, perhaps by then you will have a husband that will love your child unconditionally and be the best dad( even if not biological) the child could have. Anyone (male) can be a dad, but it takes someone really special to be a father to a child that is not theirs. That is what you call love!!!
2007-08-21 02:53:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would contact the social services and report him. This also serves to protect you and your child should he turn nasty for whatever reason. You need to get a good network of friends and family around you, then you wont feel so alone. If he cant be bothered to see how his child is, even through a phone call, then do you really want him in and out of his child's life, screwing her up - especially as she gets older and sits there waiting for him when he has arranged to call, then doesnt bother showing up. Ask him, in a controlled way, whether he wants to be in his child's life or not. Either way, you need to get strong and bring up your daughter in the best possible way you can, without bitching about her father to her, even though thats all he deserves.
2007-08-21 05:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lawyer, try to get child support. You may not want him in your life again but why not his money? Its the least he can do is pay. Any ways he could also get into a h*** of a lot of trouble if im reading your underaged thing right. If you cant afford a laywer go to the police station and ask them what you can do. They should be able to help, and should be able to help you understand how far you can take this. You should NOT have to do this alone. So at the least you should have him paying you.
2007-08-21 02:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by reala 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
CSA and just move on. You survived before you met him and you'll be fine now he's gone, sounds like you're better off without him anyway. Get in touch with his family, be the bigger person, and if they're still not interested then that's their loss. Go to see your GP and do some research into mother and baby groups in your area so you can build yourself a support network.
2007-08-21 02:48:55 · answer #6 · answered by sunshine 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
im tellin you this from experiance you need to get a good paying job and get an apartment and find some1 mayb a good friend to babysit while you are at work and dont even try to find him dont talk to him just leave him alone and one day you will find a good man the guy that got you pregnant is a full hearted man he is a jerk and he is gonna one day regret what he did and then he might try to come back but dont let him he isnt worth it no man really is!
we are so much stronger !
lots of love always
~morgan~
2007-08-21 03:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by oh_snap_its_morgan2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps he is too cowardly and not mature enough to take on the responsibility of a family right now? that isnt a good excuse, but it might be the truth.
do you really want someone back who abandoned you and your child? i wouldn't.
sometimes we have to suck it up and do what it takes to get by.
hon, i raised my oldest alone for the first 8 years of his life. i had no college education and did struggle. but i made it! and without much help.
i hope you have your family around to help some? take care of YOU... you can do better than that guy... you really can.
hugs
2007-08-21 03:03:31 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not even going to think about his own baby, why worry about him not raising the baby? Find a close friend that could possibly help you out on taking care of your baby and see how that works.
2007-08-21 02:49:31 · answer #9 · answered by Mark F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Iam sorry to hear about this.. u need to be strong right now for ur child sake... report ur ex for being with an under age girl, this is rape in the eyes of the law, so if i was u i would report this before he gets this girl pregnant and runs off on her also...
do not try to get in touch with his family, u do not need them at all... where is ur own family if u dont mind me asking? try get in touch with them and no dought ur family will try to help u...
Im a mum also, had my son at the age of 18yr old and was left on my own at younger age then u... i reared my child on my own, with small help from my family... Iam 24yr old now, my son 6yr old, i have my own place and my own car now... i have gone back to education to get even a better life for me and my son for the future... if i done this by myself then u can do this also and stay strong for ur child sake...
wish u and ur child all the best for ur future... *hugs*
2007-08-21 03:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by Mum of1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋