He showed my the ring, but didn't propose???

Question

My boyfriend is in the navy and we live in different states, so I only get to see him about once a month. Anyway, I am visiting him now we start having a bit of an argument about a bunch of dumb stuff. He then brings up that I keep dropping subtle hints about wanting to get engaged and he wants me to stop. We agreed that we would get engaged in August because he is leaving for Iraq in Oct. Anyway, I told him that I already resolved within myself that we probably wouldn't be getting engaged this month and he responds with "What if I told you your ring is in this room right now?" I said Ididn't want to talk about it anymore. He goes over to his bag and takes out a ring and says this is your engagement ring. So I am looking shocked and I said "This is not how this is suppose to be" and he says "Yea I know, it's messed up" and then he puts the ring away. So here's my question, he showed me the ring, but still hasn't proposed and I am leaving tomorrow, what is he waiting on???

And by the way, I did not pressure him into this. He is the one that planned the engagement timeline and everything else. The subtle hints he is talking about are, for example, if we drive by a jewelry store he'll point it out and I'll say "Do you want to stop" and he'll say "no thank you". So it's not like i'm nagging him about being engaged. He teases me about it.

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you got him mad. You can't pressure guys into proposing they get fed up. Seems like he got fed up from you asking and decided to show you the ring until you shut up and see that eventually he plan to propose. Let it come he has hi own nice unique ideas to propose.

Answer 2

I would be totally honest and tell him this is one of the special times in your life that you want to cherish and it is not the way you had imagined it would be. Maybe you could compare it to a favorite sports event or something else he loves then ask him how he would feel if on the day of the game,THE GAME that he been waiting for with anticpation and excitement what if the guys on the team he favors started playing and they really didn't care if they won or lost. What if he could tell they really were not giving it their best.Then to top it off about half way through the they all quit . That's what he is doing he is acting like he does not care, he is not giving it his all,and because he did not propose he quit before the game was over. I hope this works, Guys are different they don't know how to handle FEELINGS they sometimes need a picture drawn for them to see where your coming from. If he is like that your either going to have to accept it because he probably won't change. You will have to find ways to show him what you are feeling.The second choice is to be disappointed the rest of your life.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like he felt pressured to show you that he was serious about getting engaged, but because of the argument and circumstances, he didn't feel it was the right time to do it.
Now he's waiting for it to be the right time (with the right feeling) so he can propose to you "the way it's supposed to be".

My fiancee and I have been together for 14 years. I proposed to her two years after we met, but circumstances and life got in the way of us ever getting married. She makes comments constantly now about how we'll never get married. Even though we had talked about the necessity of her keeping her previous marriage last name for the sake of her son and his medical coverage, she still pressures me all the time. Well, he finally turned 18 in July of this year, so I surprised her by taking her to several jewelry stores to shop for rings/wedding sets. She was very excited and looked over lots of rings. She wanted to go with a very inexpensive ring, but I told her that given the time we've been together, she deserved to get what she wanted. I was making a budget so that I could get the ring she picked, but before she ever found one that she really liked, she told me out of the blue that she didn't want to spend the money on that type of ring. She said that she wanted a "cheap" ring and then in a few years, we could get her a bigger one. When I first proposed to her, we were struggling badly, and I got her a VERY cheap ring. It was stolen several years later, and she's never had another. So I want this one to be special and I told her that she would still get a bigger/better ring later. Now she just wants to get married without a ring, which I won't do. And I'm not buying another cheap ring just to go through the ceremony with. So, now she's saying that she doesn't even want a ring, but I think that she's now gotten cold feet after 14 years. I don't know why she would pressure me for so many years and now won't go through with it.

Hope everything works out for you!! Good Luck!!

By the way, if anyone wants to email me and let me in on something that I'm obviously missing about my situation, feel free.

Answer 4

I don't know...ask him?
Maybe you started an argument by talking about it, when he already knew that you wanted to get engaged in August, and was planning something...

Sit him down and ask, it's dumb to waste the little time you have arguing over something so small.

Answer 5

He's waiting for the perfect moment, forget he showed you the ring, and drop it. Not to sound cruel but you've already ruined part of his planning don't ruin the whole thing for him.

Answer 6

Wow, if you keep pressuring him like this do NOT expect to be asked!

He's in the military, he's going OVERSEAS, so he's pretty darned stressed right now and does NOT NEED this pressure from you!

Answer 7

you got in an argument. how can you expect to be engaged after a fight?