she's 12, i'm 15. i don't think i've ever liked her, but it's gotten worse lately. she keeps buying clothes like mine [ie. if i wear a blazer over a hoodie, she will the next day], but at the same time, she tells me i dress like a freak. [fyi, i'm emo, no jokes thanks] it's upsetting, because i think clothes are an expression of my individuality.
she listens to music i HATE like beyonce, nelly furtado, justin timberlake... i listen to fall out boy, my chemical romance, paramore... again, she things the whole "emo" subgenre is stupid, but in the next breath, she'll say "OMG! i love my chemical romance! they're soo cool". seriously. i have to keep my music a secret, otherwise she'll trash it by singing along really badly. she could enter AI t's that bad.
she is very tactless, and says soo much horrible stuff, so i never listen to her. she never notices when she should just keep her mouth shut... it's painful. you know, there's always one person you just want to muzzle... that's her
2007-08-21 01:22:53 · 12 answers · asked by lexie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i'd love to say it's just a phase, but i don't think so! the worst thing was, she used to go through my bebo page, reading old comments from my ex. when we were still together... it hurt finding that out. did i mention that she's been emailling my best friends!? who knows what she's been saying! i've warned them, but still... how do i get her to leave me alone!? i never have any privacy anymore... she's probably going to read this soon anyway... i've told my mom, but all she said was "she looks up to you, that's all! it's just a phase, she'll grow out of it!" my dad doesn't quite understand either... and it's not really fair to whine to my friends, so what do i do!?
2007-08-21 01:27:19 · update #1
I feel like I'm listening to my 15 yr old daughter...only she has two younger sisters that drive her nuts, not just one!
A lot of people will tell you to be flattered that she is copying your style and your music. I know it drives you nuts and you want something that is your OWN. I know you crave privacy and peace and quiet. You want your friends to be YOUR friends...not yours and your sister's.
YOU are not ALONE. You are not the only person struggling with this and there are no easy answers. Yeah, she wants to be like you, she envy's your sense of style, your friends, and the very individuality that you strive to express. She isn't a baby anymore, but she isn't a teen either. She longs to be like you and yet....she wants to be her own person too. It's hard. It's hard to be her and it's hard to be you. And trust me it's just as hard being the Mom through all of this.
Try this for at least one month and see if things change. TALK to her. Really talk, ask her how she feels about things. Find out her favorite color. Find out what kind of clothes she really likes but is afraid to try. What sports does she like? Does she want to dance or sing? What are her deepest fears? What makes her feel special? Why doesn't she understand that some things really are privet and why doesn't she understand when she should keep her mouth closed? What does she want to really do when she grows up? Does she want to learn how to play the piano or violin or a flute so she can be in marching band?
Take some time and be with her. Give her some undivided attention...some sister time. Help her find her own place in the world and some of her own confidance. Learn how to be her friend and her sister. I'll bet thing will be alot easier for you then. And you just may find out that she is and can be a great little sister. Pushing her away isn't working...so maybe if you invest a little you'll find more of what you really want. Sisters are a precious gift that not everyone has. Don't just throw it away or fight against it. Remember someday she will be all you have of family. We parents don't live forever. Good luck & best wishes.
2007-08-21 02:08:08 · answer #1 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She wants to be like you. She apparently looks up to you. When you are a little older you will be able to look back over your teen years and see that when someone makes fun of you, they first of all NOTICED you, and second of all, they usually really like you, they just dont want to acknowledge it or just do not know how to express it. Now you fight, but when you are older, you will cherish your sis, or she will cherish you. You being the older one, you are an example for her. Eventually she will do as you do, if she is not already doing it, sounds like she is. I have a little brother, and ALL of my friends have little sisters. My brother & I didnt get close til we were in our mid 20s. . . . Good Luck! )
2007-08-21 08:34:15 · answer #2 · answered by ~Quixotic~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are her big sister so you should love and understand her. She is your family. Everyone has this "not so like" attitude for nobody's perfect. You feel irritated for now but believe me in the near future you will be thankful for having a sister...just take it easy and look at her in her bright side. Learn how to appreciate your sister. My sister and i are just like you before. She is older than me and i always pissed her off. But now that we both have our own family, we are thankful that we have each other....
2007-08-21 08:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by "Maldita" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imitation is the best form of flattery.... she dresses like you because she likes how you look......... and the rest is just sibling rivalry....... you are both individuals so you are allowed to like the same things, or NOT the same things...... she is 12........ give her a break........ you may grow up later and actually like her...... not saying this will happen but it might........
2007-08-21 08:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she really does look up to you, this could go on for a long time but shes only 12, once shes more mature you will probably be good friends.
2007-08-21 13:40:19 · answer #5 · answered by chantrelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be flattered...she looks up to you as a role model
she obviously thinks your cool thats why she imitates your looks and interests
she only acts like she dont think of you that way cos shes probably a bit insecure and thinks its uncool to have role models despite actualy having one
2007-08-21 08:29:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your parents how she acts and let them deal with her.
she idolizes you even tho she wont admit it. your her big sister. thats what the little ones do. 8] just tell her how bad she hurts you. sometimes theres just some people you cant deal with tho. =/ but i would hope your sister isnt one of them. dont do anything violent or to hurt her. talk to her. let others talk to her. if it doesnt help then leave it at that.
2007-08-21 08:29:10 · answer #7 · answered by love♥shopping=] 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For several days do what she does back... sing (loudly and badly) to her music... copy her clothing...
2007-08-21 09:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find her a boyfriend or grrlfriend that likes what she likes. She needs a lot of attention and affection.
2007-08-21 08:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by glen_loves_fun 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
your sister looks up to you which is why she is being obnoxious.
negative attention is better than no attention at all.
2007-08-21 09:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋