My paternal grandmother and my mom don't get along. Nana told me that in order to my gift, I have to give her a picture and or a copy of the video. I am upset that she's not coming. The wedding isn't until Oct 08 or March 09. Invitations are expensive, should I send one anyway?
2007-08-21 00:52:45 · 35 answers · asked by classystyle03 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes send her one, I bet she really wants to be there but thinks that the conflict may ruin your wedding, she is actually looking out for you.
2007-08-21 00:57:52 · answer #1 · answered by medicine_man_rn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, definitely. It's the polite thing to do to send an invitation to anyone you would welcome at the wedding, even if you know they aren't coming. Anyway, sometimes it's surprising how things turn out......the people you figure won't come will show up, and someone you were positive of, won't be there.
Plus, in families as contentious as yours sounds, feelings get hurt very easily and grudges are held for a long time over things like this. Over time the stories change. You may spend the next 20 years listening to how mean YOU are because Grandma was dying to attend but "wasn't invited." If you send the invitation, you're covered. Then it's on everyone else whether they choose to attend or not.
2007-08-21 01:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anne M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG!
(1). Your grandma is'nt coming to your wedding,because she does'nt get along with your mom?
(2). The only way she will send you a gift,is if you send her a video copy of the wedding?
I'm sorry for saying this (and I mean no disrespect),but your grandma is the root of this problem. Not only is she about to break your heart,for not attending her grand-daughter's wedding,but she's asking you for a "Gift in exchange for another". She really doe'snt think your going to get married at all!.
Because you already know she is'nt coming,then don't send an invitation. She has made it perfectly clear to you,the reason why. If you send the video,then chances are that you will not recieve a gift from her (and if you do),it will be something you don't need or want. (Also),the real reason she wants a copy of the Video,is to show her "Friends and Neighbors",and pretend to them,that she was actually at the wedding.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. (Here's a HUG!). You put all of this aside,and concentrate on your "Blessed Day". The only person you have to please is: "YOURSELF".
(Good Luck!) LOVE: Squeakers
2007-08-21 01:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents and grandparents don't need an invitation. They are considered as family, not invited guests. It is assumed that they will sit in the family's section at the wedding. If your grandmother is not coming, that is certainly her choice. However, there is no reason why you should have to give her a copy of the video or anything else, simply because she is too stubborn to put her petty differences aside for this very special occasion. What grandmother doesn't attend her granddaughter's wedding? And what grandmother puts stipulations on her wedding gift? Don't allow your grandmother to hold you hostage like this. Tell her you want her to come to your wedding and let that be it. Understand that this will be YOUR wedding day and YOU should get all of the attention--not your grandmother. Best wishes for many years of happiness!
2007-08-21 01:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Granted that invitations are expensive, but one more will not cost that much.
If you don't send her one, she can always use the excuse that she wasn't even invited to the wedding and that's why she didn't come.
Besides, just in good taste and respect for your grandmother, I'd send one anyway.
I understand that you are upset, but that's life amongst family. Bite the bullet, make the video and show her the pictures; then let her decide which pictures she wants copies of and if she wants to pay for them.
2007-08-21 01:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by Goyo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's rediculous that she is missing your big day because her and her daughter don't get along. If she's going to be rude by not coming then she shouldn't get a picture or copy of the video. Send her an invite and a letter saying you want her to come. If she doesn't...then oh well. You don't need a gift from someone who won't put fighting to the side for one day to come see you get married.
2007-08-21 11:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OF COURSE dearest....YOU MUST!!!
It is the thought that counts even if she can't come...she will feel very important...who knows she might be touched by your gesture...she will find the strength and inspiration to attend your Wedding and ignore the present problem with your mom.
To be giving an Invitation is your sincere desire for them to attend this momentous occasion in your life... Their efforts will be theirs to decide...
On times when the invitations your printed is limited in number... You can always make ways.... You must.
Just to remind you of how important your Grandma is...
Without HER ...there would be no next generation (YOU) ..
When it is your turn to be a Grandma....and your Grandaughter marries and she fails to give you an invitation for the same reason ( you are not attending)...How would you feel?..
Come on dear...it is proper protocal and respect given where it is due....
Love them...let them feel your attention...
they have only a short time to live....make them happy...
Make memories with her.... before it is too late...
Grandmothers has this special magic over their loveones...
Be blessed with their company..now that they are still very much around....
You are lucky because you can still hold her in tight embrace..
While others are not that lucky...all they have closest are memories...then it fades away...
Your Mom's not getting along with grandma is her problem ...not yours!
Congratulations on your wedding day...
Paris 716
2007-08-21 01:17:50 · answer #7 · answered by Helen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must send an invite! If you don't Nana will hold it against you forever! The cost of an invite is small compared to the family fued you will become involved with.
2007-08-21 00:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by paul s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wedding etiquette is that you send an invite to everybody you would like to come....
It's their choice then if they come or not, but at least you have made the point that you would like the to take part in seeing you get married, and be a part of your happy day.
2007-08-21 00:59:00 · answer #9 · answered by bigman2ab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do the right thing and send her an invite. It is up to her how she handles her end. It is a shame she can't put her differences with your mom aside for your special day. BUT remember you have no control of what others do so you do the right thing and know in your heart you did and others have to live with the decisions they make. I hope your special day is GREAT. It is your day don't let ANYONE make it different.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-08-21 00:58:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anne D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It would show her that despite how your mother feels about her, that you still love her and want her there, even if she feels she can't attend. It's such a shame she feels that way, it's probably breaking her heart, so it would be a lovely keepsake for her. And you never know, the wedding is still some time away, there is still time for the two of them to call a truce (even temp for the wedding) and you dont want her to think you dont want her there.
2007-08-21 01:00:50 · answer #11 · answered by iamqueentracy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋