Ok. Help Would Really People be appriciated. Please, no stupid replies though.?

Question

Ok, yesterday I found out that my boyfriend has been anorexic for two years, and has been admitted to hospital twice in the past for suicide attempts and serious malnutrition.

Yesterday we went to a party at a friends place, and he ended up wasted, and got violent with people trying to move him outside into the fresh air. (Almost kicking an 8 month pregnant woman in the process)
When he'd calmed down he ended up lying on the floor telling me that he hated himself and I shouldn't love him.

I'm at a complete wits end, because I love him so much and hate to see him hurting so much, at only 16 years of age, he's developed the problems that not even an adult should have to deal with.
But I now accept that he needs professional help, and that there's only so much I can do as a 14 year old girl.
Does anyone have any suggestions of people I could get in touch with to help him, or anyone I could contact for advice or support?

And his parents, quite frankly, are useless. Help?

Answer 1

Where are your parents? Why did they allow you to become so involved with an unstable person who could be a danger to himself and others.

You can't take his parents place. You can only inform them that he is out of control and in need of treatment and medication.

Whose house did he get wasted at? Where are their parents? They should be informed also and become more responsible for their children.

Inform his school counselors and parents. That is your responsibility if you want to help him.

You need to get counseling for your co-dependency. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Tell him to read this: I was anorexic when I was eighteen. I am 5/7" tall...and went from 155, down to 105, in three months. I did it, because someone I cared about called me a 'big horse'...I didn't realize that he was the goof, not me. I look back now, and try to realize why I did it, and why I was so consumed over it...I know now part of the reason, was that everyone in my family always put me down, and made me feel less than everyone else...and when this person said the same thing, it only made me believe it more..so when I was able to control the situation, and succeed and losing weight, somehow I felt on top of the world. I didn't realize however, that the people had now had something NEW to put me down for...I didn't realize I looked like a concentration camp victim..until I luckily went out side after eight months of malnutrition. and saw myself in a bikini...my first impression was how horrible i looked, and started eating again..I thought of myself for a split second, and not what everyone else thought about me...the parents are probably causing this, and don't even realize it..listen, do not begin drinking on top of everything else, you will destroy your internal organs, and your mind, and really end up dead if you don't stop it...You have to love YOU and don't care what others think. YOu have a girlfriend who adores you, who would be heartbroken if anything happened to you...I am sure that there are other contributing factors, causing your deep depression and suicidal thoughts..you are not getting the love you need at home, I feel..but listen,..I pray that you can find God and Jesus in your life..They love you when no one else seems to care...Pray to God, through Jesus, to help you out of this dark path you are on..and to give you strength to pull yourself up, love yourself, and to become the person deep inisde, you know you are..start eating, and I don't care if you gain 100 pounds,..you are going to be who you are on the inside, no matter what you look like on the outside..and you need to make others accept that,..God Bless you little one, if I could stop it without anyone 's help, except God and Jesus, so can you...xoxoxoxoxox and keep that girlfriend she loves you

Answer 3

You won't like my answer but........ You've said his parents are useless! He is a minor and is their responsibility not yours.
How did you decide that anyway or is that the opinion of a mixed up angry 16 yo with anorexia & suicidal thoughts?. Anorexia is a mental disorder so then you realise that his judgement is impaired. The parents have the right to know about their son. The best thing you can do for him is find a way to inform the parents/school and give them the opportunity to be parents.
As said by others you should be concentrating on building your own life not allowing yourself to be dragged down emotionally. You sound like you have a decent brain so you might as well learn a very hard lesson now and that is that none of us can save people.!!!!! We can let them know we care and try to help them make positive choices but saving him is up to him and his family. Life goes very fast you can waste your time struggling with someone who will most likely take you down with him. I don't mean to be harsh with you but this is something you need to consider.
Take care of you.

Answer 4

Darling you are so young and i don't think you shlould be taking this all on yourself and I don't think you intend to that is why you are asking for ideas on how to get help. In my vast experience of trying to help hurting people I loved I can tell you unless you are standing on solid rock they will take you down with them mostly unintentialy.

Only God can change people and I don't know if any other way to get him the kind of love he needs so he won't hate him self belive me I know how he feels. You can start going to a church with a good youth group. he might go with you. Try Looking up a celebrate recovery group in your area. They are very non judgemental and all about developing a personal realtionship God . and no matter what you do the real power is in god for him to change

and most importantly for you to stay strong enough to be a strength to him. So stay in the words of the bible daily and pray God will show you the way you must go for each day.

God bless

All things work for good

your faith will do more than any worrying could accomplish

Answer 5

OK as for one person that tried to FIX someone else - don't do it! Let the parents handle it or be in denial and not handle it! I can tell you from experience. RUN I was much older then you when I was going thru it. (early 20's) But I spent 20 years trying to fix someone else. Sometimes they are thankful sometimes they go and get a new girlfriend. Hummmm. But really life is too short your 14 and I know it is the center of your universe right now but you need to move on. Please run before it's too late.

Answer 6

If you are in the USA, call Boys Town Hotline [phone]. It's a 24/7 crisis, resource and referral line for teens and parents struggling with suicide issues. They will be able to assist you or direct you to assistance in your area.

Answer 7

He needs to be in a program or be seeing a psychotherapist on a regular basis for a long time. He just needs help and all u can do is be there for him and that's it. U are not a professional and this is not your problem. He can't have a girlfriend till he's better too. If you really care, just be his friend. No need for u guys to discuss this. He'll have to be told along the way and just be there for him.

Answer 8

well let him know that you are there for him no matter what the issue is because you love him. It is very hard to go through this sort of stuff I know i went through a mild state of it and I still have to seal with an eating disorder. I would see a guidance councilor at school and see if they can help there or if they know someone outside of school that can help. I hope things get better for him :(( GL

Answer 9

Wow, that sure is alot for a young girl of your age to deal with. I know how concerned you are for him and you want to make him better. It sounds like he needs serious professional help. Since he is a minor, its up to his parents/guardian or another adult acting on his behalf to step up to the plate.

Good luck and take care of you!
Dee

Answer 10

Its sweet that you have accepted that he needs help.. but has he? There is alot of professional help for both anorexia and depression. I guess the first thing is to help him recognise he needs help. Then depending on where you live find counsel workers, doctors, other friends and family to help him get the support he needs.