I'm having small doubts in my long distance relationship. We've been together about 2 and half years and he's helped me through so much, but our relationship has become 'boring' and sometimes I just feel so trapped and I want to get out.
I think I'm in love with him. I mean I love him I'm just not sure if I'm in love with him anymore.
I feel like sometimes he looks down on me and belittles me. He's not smarter than me (we are about the same, although I'm doing better in my last year of high school than he did) but he's about a year older and I sometimes feel that he thinks he is superior to me.
Do I talk to him about it? I don't want to start any fights. Should I just shut up and be more appreciative that I have a guy who's there for me?
2007-08-20 23:52:29 · 9 answers · asked by ★☆✿❀ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm going to see him in 3 days though (first time in about 2years.) Then I'm moving to his city in 4months.
2007-08-21 00:02:42 · update #1
You are too young to put up with that crap. if he belittles you and you don't feel comfortable enough to say something then there is something else wrong. If you want to try. next time he starts, stop him and ask him seriously do you think that I am intelligent? his normal answer if he has any brains is yes. Then ask him, if you believe i am intelligent then why do you talk to me like i am an idiot. It is possible he just doesn't realize he is doing it. Don't word it to get into a fight, ask him in the same tone you would when you ask him how his day was. Explain to him how it makes you feel, and if he starts to make steps to correct himself you know what kind of a guy he is. But if you are questioning if you are in love with him it is time to move on anyway. Don't stick with him because it is comfortable
2007-08-21 00:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Wabby, A long distance relationship is hard because you don't get to be with each other and then you get doubts about
your relationship. But if he seems like he is looking down at you and belittling you you need to talk to him about the way he makes you feel at time.You will be with him in 3 days wait for a couple days before you bring this up.Get to know each other a little better and enjoy some time with each other before bringing this up. I am in a long distance relationship and I will see him in September of this year and so far neither of us have an issue. But please get this off your chest before you start feeling worse about the way he seems to do you.
A Friend.
poppy1
2007-08-21 07:53:35 · answer #2 · answered by poppy1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you are at a point in your life that you feel that your relationship has become more that of friends than a couple.At your age you will not want to make a commitment to one person in a serious relationship.If this fellow cares for you he would want you to be honest with him. You shouldn't ever be afraid to speak your mind with someone with whom you care for.In a relationship you are supposed to walk through your life together,side by side .You should not be walking behind him nor ahead of him.You are moving away to school which will open up a whole new world of experiences for you.You will also meet a lot of new people .Perhaps you are just playing it safe by wanting to stay in "this boring " relationship.You should not feel "trapped". I suggest you just take things slow when you meet your friend.Since this has been a long distance relationship for a few years maybe his feelings have changed too.Do not commit yourself to a relationship simply because you feel trapped.To me that sounds more like the fear of being alone rather than love.Don't base your decision on what we say but I think you are far too young to make this type of commitment.There's a whole world out there to explore.If he loves you he would not want you to feel trapped.Take care.
2007-08-21 00:41:43 · answer #3 · answered by gussie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, what sense does this sentence of yours make "I think I'm in love with him. I mean I love him I'm just not sure if I'm in love with him anymore" Do you love him or not?
Second, of course you should talk to him about anything you feel, this is the key to any successful relationship, if you two are in love or not in love anymore, then why wasting time, just speak out, you will feel better after that, trust me.
I dont agree with you, when you say you should just shut up and appreciate that you have a guy!!! why should you appreciate something that is not making you happy anymore? you deserve to be made happy as much as you make him happy, I mean its fair for both of you to make each other happy and if you think he looks down on you sometimes, then leave him. No one should ever look down to anyone else, no question if it was the person who is supposed to be in love with you, he should appreciate you more than anyone else!
2007-08-21 00:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationship seldom works. I did that, but I was being unfaithful to her almost once a week without her knowledge.. As time passed, I did not crave calling her daily.. there was less interest in her and I really don't know whom she is sleeping with over there.. Surprisingly after about 4 months, I was not jealous any more and it really did not matter.
So, we split..
2007-08-21 00:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by AdultMale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 14, the real good thing about breaking up is you get to try someone different. Breaking-up can be hard to do but with the right attitude it is a chance to try something different and exciting. There are lots....millions of nice hot sexy people out there to date (and lots of duds too). Don't date the duds date the studs. Intelligence and good taste in music paired with likes to dance-good dancer is very hot and sexy. This will be a good learning experience for your soon to be ex;and who knows maybe in 5 or 10 years you two could be together again..it really happens,better for the experience!
2016-03-17 03:52:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound as though you want to move on, the hardest part of a long distant relationship is the restrictions it does put on you... really if it has got to this point then you should get out of it.. soon he will also feel this.. then you will be fighting ... it is like a circle everything just keeps going around and around.....
2007-08-21 00:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not happy about current issues.i would have a chat with him,and try to sort things out.if you are not entirely happy then you should not just except things how they are.he should not belittling you for any reason this is not right.stand firm with your views and don,t take no nonsense.good luck with your future plans.take care.
2007-08-21 02:16:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope this helps you ..
And I think you should talk to him about it if you feel this way...jus tell him how you feel and you both can work it out
The Strength Of Your Relationship
I read a post by a girl that she had an ideal relationship for more than three years. The boyfriend had initiated the relationship and wanted them to commit to each other forever. One day suddenly he came up and said that he liked another girl. After some days he said that he was no more seeing the other new girl and wanted to continue with the old love. This behavior has confused this girl and she wanted to know about the strength of her relationship. Have you quizzed yourself about the strength of your relationship?
Quiz your Love- to begin with quiz your love for each other. Write some questions about your mutual attraction and find out the answers of both of you. Do you love him/her more or less compared to the beginning? Does he/she irritate you now? Do you care for each other? Quiz about all the aspects of love.
Quiz your dependence- find out how much dependent you are on each other. Quiz yourself about how much you always need him/her? Quiz your partner. Are you both dependent on each other or it makes no difference if the other partner is absent?
Quiz your commitment- quiz yourself and your partner about commitment. Is that real or is it like a sand castle? Whether it can be broken easily? Quiz all the pointers that give you an answer about your commitment to each other.
Quiz yourself about your relationship. Find out the pluses and minuses. Find out the ways to make your relationship very strong. Otherwise you may be in for a rude shock, like the girl I talked about.
Relationships And Poor Communication
To communicate means to tell about our feelings, and our thoughts. When we communicate, our words may not say precisely what is in our mind, but when somebody takes our body language and words together, he/she can probably find out what we really want to communicate. Understanding communication and making communication is both an art and a science. But it is not very difficult to learn.
Relationships thrive on good communication. When both the partners know exactly what is in the other's mind, a relationship proceeds smoothly. For example, if a partner is lethargic and keeping quiet, that also communicates something. That has to be understood by the other partner. Once both the partners understand the hidden signs and the precise meaning of what is being said, they can develop a very healthy relationship. People feel good if some body understands them. They get irritated if somebody does not understand them. Irrespective of their own bad communication, they want people to understand them. Here lies the clue to communication and relationships.
Many relationships develop despite of poor communication in the beginning. The excitement of the partnership and the euphoric love make bad communication not very necessary to make the relationship cross the threshold. But after some time, as love thins down and cracks begin developing, the need for good communication increases substantially.
If you are facing a problem of bad communication with your partner, the best thing is to ask. Do not assume the meaning, but say, darling; I am not getting what you want to communicate. I am sorry, but please explain. Be sincere in your request. You must show that you really want to understand. Slowly the communication will begin improving. Good communication is important to sort out many issues that a couple faces in a relationship.
Is Your Partner Honest?
Your partner may be good looking. Your partner may be smart and intelligent. Your partner may be a good conversationalist and may have many other qualities. But is your partner honest?
Quiz your partner's honesty-
What do we mean by honesty? Does it mean credibility? Does it mean commitment? Does it mean a person who speaks the truth? Yes, when I say honesty, I mean speaking truth. Those who speak truth are reliable people. They never change the words to suit them. They speak the truth whether it pleases or hurts. Why do we need a truth-speaking partner?
Quiz the relationship-
When you have a relationship, you want somebody whose words can be relied upon. We want somebody who will not play hide and seek with us. We do not want a person whose thoughts and words are different. With that kind of person we will always get hurt. We will never get any pleasure. Such persons will twist their words to blame us for all the ills and walk away hurting us. A true person will not do that. A true person will always acknowledged what we did for the relationship. A true person is a pleasure. A liar is a pain for life. Please quiz your partner's honesty.
2007-08-21 00:03:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
time to move on. start dating others.enjoy life it is to short to worry about small stuff
2007-08-20 23:58:43 · answer #10 · answered by rich g 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋