Long Distance Relationship Problem?

Question

I've read a lot of similar questions, but none are exactly in this range.

Well, as the story goes, I fell in love. No, seriously, my first love. I still am, and I'm head over heels, can't stop thinking about him, he's the nicest guy I've ever known...But he lives in NY, and I'm in WA. Not even the problem. Hell, I was even in NY this year! But, we talked online constantly, everything was cool and we trusted each other...But one day, his account seemed to be hacked. And that was the last I heard of him. Not even on our mutual forum, his other online friends have heard less from him than me...It's terrible! And the pain is just so, well, terrible! It's as if everytime I'm truly happy I think about him and I ruin my own happiness. I'm not even this into guys, usually! Can anyone give me advice? I understand that this is a stupendously open question, but anything could help at this point. Please?

Answer 1

Does he have a phone number? Was your relationship strictly online? These types of relationships do present their own unique problems, and it sounds to me, and I am sorry to say this, that for whatever reason, he has disconnected, plain and simple. I think you better just let go of this one, because the anxiety of waiting around will be quite disruptive. My dear, it's summer time, go out, and breath the fresh air, and enjoy, because that is what it's all about. Online relationships are a will'o'the'wisp at best, and their success ratios are fairly slim. It is OK to feel upset, but you can't lose what you didn't have in the first place, and when the real thing comes along, you will know, and it will not be online. You can get through the pain by using deep breathing methods, and reduce your time scale, so that say, if I can just get through the next five minutes, and so on. I do know how you feel, but for different reasons, and this will pass, I promise you. Take care younger sister, I know you can get through this, and one day, you will find one who is worthy of a love so pure as yours.

Answer 2

You have two options : 1) Break up. 2) Take steps to be together on a more permanent basis. $30,000 a year is awesome for someone your age you should be very proud. I don't know what it is that you do and being able to work in Switzerland wouldn't be easy you would need to get married and aquire work authorization. However she can't easily go to school in the US without spending A LOT more than $30,000 a year on tuition as a foreign national. On the plus side a broken heart hurts like you would not believe and you'll go back and for trying to rationalize how a little thing little like distance can keep you apart, in the end it doesn't make sense. I say this from experience. If you really love her, I mean REALLY love her than it doesn't really matter, the choice is already made. So you live like paupers for a few years while you find a good job, this is your one spin, the only spin you get, don't throw it away. EDIT : After reading some of your other questions I'm not so sure that this is all your cracking it up to be this evening. May be better to count your losses. Maybe she is not as inclined to give any on he end is because she doesn't trust you and to be honest do you really blame her?

Answer 3

I understand how terrible you feel especially as you're seeing only him,however it's not the end of life.You can still meet someone special.From experience, i think long distance relationships rarely survive no matter how much you communicate with each other. this is because there's likely to be little elements of distrust as regards what the other partner is doing.i advice that you try to find out why he's suddenly cold & keeping to himself.if his reason is too petite then it's time you move on with your life. I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

well long distance relationship have never worked out. But I believe that if he was head over heals for you, he should at least emailed you or call even if his account was hacked cause when you really care for someone you remember them at all times and keep their info somewhere where they can revisit. Unless something really bad happened that no one knows about, so unless you have other ways to get a hold of him than keep your hopes up maybe he'll come around, but if not just move on...

Good luck

Answer 5

Unfortuately this is not a real relationship. It is mostly an illusion.

I know that it will be hard to face, but you do need to move on.

There will be a reason why he just DISAPPEARED and none of them will be what you want to know. I know that this is painful for you. It is just what happens in cyberspace sometimes.

Let go, find another way to spend your time. Find someone who you can spend LIVE time with close to home.

I wish you luck.

Answer 6

hmm, from what ive read. you guys are not a couple yet right? have you met in person? cos there's only so much you can tell from talking to a person online. and falling in love online - over a computer screen is too amusing and far-fetched for me. well, if oyu have any of his other contacts? like a number or email, then drop him a message. otherwise, sad to say, whether you guys remain in contact or not will depend on when he comes on. all e best.

Answer 7

Honey .. he's not crazy about u as much as u r crazy about him so leave the relationship as it is .. i'm not saying breakup but if he's not making an effort to make it better then why should u ?

U can talk about it and ask him what he really thinks or wants out of this relationship? his answer will give u hints to manye things

Good Luck ^__^

Answer 8

He probably misses you too...but life moves on, you cant spent it on someone youve never met who lives 1000 miles away! Did u really think one day u were gonna get married and have a family?!!

Answer 9

i think he got wacked, NY is rough, and he sounds very soft, probably stood on too many toes and now he floating in the Hudson, look long distance relationships are not worth it, find someone in WA or YMCA and you'll be better of, but good luck anyways

Answer 10

depends on how strong your relationship with this person.
if not strong enough then it's going nowhere.
if it is strong you wouldn't have this question.
strenght in relationship rely on understanding,trust and caring.
when all three are strong relationship as far as one in Asia and the other in Europe can last decades.