question for people who have asian parents.......please this is killing me?

Question

hey guys~

sigh.....this is a issue that always stand strong between me and my gf, im desperately need answers, my gf's mother is very very negative about her daughter going out, im 17 and she is 16, unforunatly for i gave her a very bad impression, that was when me and my gf in the library kissing and hugging and she was stalking us the whole time, and said all hk guys are no good and stuff, and say they are all players, im a very decent guy, i dnt smoke, dont do drug, and no im not a player, her mum started to say sending her back to taiwan(we live in newzealand for more than 10 yrs), i once said maybe we said go talk to her mother, but she said its a really bad idea...i can only see the issue damaging our relationship, and can do nothing,,,,guys i need help, give me answers please...thx

Answer 1

wow, did you not realise that asian parents are a incredibly strict? There's really nothing you can say to make this better to be honest. Just give them time, and don't go over to her house.

My mom is really traditional and kept a tight lead on me, alot of my asian gf's are the same way. If the the races were switched, you being the guy would have more of a stretch to be able to do all kinds of stuff and get away with it. It's just a cultural thing. Sorry.

Answer 2

Hi there. Well I am taiwanese but anyway I think the issue with ur gf's mum is that she doesn't want her daughter dating at such a young age-especially when she's still at school! My mum was exactly the same when I was around that age. Don't take it personally- its not so much an issue with YOu as a person whom she doesn't want dating her daughter, more likely that she doesn't want her daughter dating at all!

This best thing I can advise is firstly, DON't get caught kissing and hugging by her again. For sure, seeing such things is going to make her furious and worsen the problems. Why don't u steer clear of the physical actions for now and try to establish urself as a decent young friend.

Anyway, not much u can do at this stage as I know at that age, parents are adamant abt NO dating, so yeah, try to lay low but remember not to take it too personally...

Answer 3

sturdy question. (My husband's kinfolk is from a place in simple terms exterior of Glasgow, Scotland.. Stirling) or perhaps in North united statesa. we've this problem its even worse right here (If I dare say so) right here in New Bruswick, Canada we could provide all of the scholarships to the French or we are being racists. Our government has to furnish them each thing they ask for... Or we are being racists. that's gotten to the element that all of the learning interior the English college have 33 scholars on occasion greater. meanwhile, interior the French colleges they have a typical MAX of 24 scholars in line with type. on the cyber web and interior the media (hip-hop music/video clips) i hit upon many African American human beings make race a controversy. To the element on a toddler internet site in case you're saying you do not in basic terms like the call LaShanti Jezikah you're a "stupid, racist, white b****!" (not kidding, the girl asked what human beings however of the call and that i asked her I the thank you to pronounce it and that i yet it sounded slightly ghetto) How long will it take till the international realises that the sole people who're getting regarded for being racist are caucasians? How long will it take till the international realises somebody could properly be racist? i became area of the super call Commitee in intense college (scholars jointly against Racism) and that became the 1st element they taught us. i'm so ill of those variety of persons employing race as a blanket to trash the society our ancesters fought so not ordinary to guard. and that they in all likelihood will get away with it. I desire the international might awaken! Caucasians have not been the main effective racists for no less than the final 15 years!

Answer 4

Invite her and her parents out to dinner. Don't bring up the library incident. Tell them that you would like to apologize for any bad impressions that you may have made on them. Bring flowers for both the mother and the daughter and pay the bill. When you invite them out to dinner ask the mother not the daughter. Good luck

Answer 5

Sounds like my mom. Anyway, talking to her might very well end up badly for you because you have to be very, very careful not to offend her mother in any way, but if you do it right, her mom might accept your relationship. Offer to take her and her parents (it would be rude to invite only her mother) out for breakfast (you're going to have to pay, of course) and, basically, suck up to her. Don't make it too obvious though. No kissing in front of her in front of her parents and maybe even avoid holding hands. Remember to be courteous, polite, and humble. Avoid asking personal questions and prepare yourself to answer her questions such as, what do you plan on doing in the future, how are your grades, and don't take it too personally if she insults you. It would help if your family is well off, don't show off, though. Not sure if that'll work for you, but that's the way my family works.

Answer 6

well, i come from an asian background, and her mum sounds typical asian. old-fashioned sort of person. now you know her mum is like stalking you guys and stuff, try not to aggravate the situation and her suspicions of wadeva by making out too much in public. i dunno why, but many asians have this mentality that making out in public is a big embarrassment and is not something they like.

your situation's kinda hard but i suggest you guys not do anything else that would aggravate her mum's disapproval of your relationship. keep it clean and innocent for now. once youve gained her trust - i know this takes time - then prob she'll let you do whatever you want with her daughter. i really wish u all the best. :))

Answer 7

umm... im a girl but just for the heck of it i too have asian parents. lol
In that case... with parents like that you can't really do anything in that ground because as what i've noticed, they believe in getting married/graduating first before kissing and hugging and stuff. I NEVER had a bf coz of my parents and im 17. They think our age is still too young for that. To them they want men to be stable (money and education) since men must lead/be strong/etc. =/
You may only be thinking of dating but trust me, they think more than just that. >_< we may not know what else they're thinking but there's some reason behind it alright. ~_~

Answer 8

It sounds as though you have no respect for the girl nor her family and think that whatever you wish to do is OK and her family should just stand back and not be concerned.

Perhaps if you tried to apologize to the girls mother and show more respect to her it would make a big difference.

Answer 9

I kind of agree with her mother. I'm not Asian, but I also think that 17 and 16 is too young to be having a serious, exclusive relationship. I think you and your girlfriend should take it slow.

Answer 10

Please remember that most Asians are the conservative type. After what her mother saw, you hugging her precious possession, you cant blame her mother getting mad at you. In order for you to recover, you have to prove yourself and show it to them that you are the type that they can entrust their daughter in her lifetime. Most especially that you are still minors, they just want to give whats best for their child and if you think you are the one you should give it your best.