is there such a thing as middle child syndrome?

Question

I've been hearing about this recently and, despite the fact I feel I parent our 3 boys as their personalities dictate (as opposed to where they fall in the family), I would love to hear from anyone who has a view on 'middle child syndrome'

My Husband is a middle child and he is one of the most adjusted and caring people I know. He is quieter than his siblings, but to me that's just his personality, not that he was overlooked as a child.

Answer 1

I believe there is - I am the youngest of four, and have had three children myself.
Despite the behaviour and interaction of all your children with each other, they will still grow up to be individuals with their own personality and traits. Just enjoy being a parent and bring them all up with the care and love they deserve. Everyone is different, enjoy their childhood.
My youngest is 16 (exam results today - crossed fingers).

Best wishes for you and your family.

:-)

Answer 2

I command you for trying to raise your boys as their personalities dictate and not according to who’s the eldest, the one in the middle and the youngest but still, you have to admit that the interaction they have between themselves is influenced by their respective ages.
Everybody raise their kids according to their personal values. Some people will have greater expectation for their older kid, because he/she’s supposed to be more mature and they will be more protective of their younger kid, because he/she’s the little one. The family dynamic can be a complicated one, depending on the age difference of the children and if both parents are raising them.
It is often true that among three siblings, the middle one could feel ignored since all the responsibilities goes to the older one and all the worries to the little one. Parents should make sure to give the middle child some responsibilities too and also some attention.

Nevertheless, I do not think such a thing as “middle child syndrome” exists because this would mean that all middle children end up with the same characteristics and they do not. It is the same for the other children. Some older kids could be put on pedestals but some others could never be good enough because of high expectation. Some younger kids could be overprotected and treated as babies while some others could just be neglected and ignored. Middle children could end up feeling very lucky they were left alone and not always have to be responsible or always forbidden to do things because they were too young.

As a parent, you just do the best you can…and no matter what, when your kids will reach the teenage years, they will surely blame you for something anyway, and you might even blame yourself for not having done better. Plan for the Worst and Hope for the Best.

Answer 3

For it to be considered to be a syndrome there would have to be some symptoms. make a list of the symptoms that you think you get from being the middle child, ask your sisters to make a similar list for being the first and the last child and then compare notes. I think that you will find that you are all alike and therefore, there is no such thing as middle child syndrome. Just look at it like you're in a sandwich, your sisters have to be bread, but you could be anything you want!

Answer 4

Oh it is true. I am a middle child. My elder sister is on a pedestal and always has been and can never do anything wrong in the eyes of my parents (even though I have proof that she is a bit,ch). My little sister has always been the baby and is still treated like that. Me, I just exist. Funny thing is that there is only 18 months between our ages and so not like she was born years later. So, yes whenever any arguments happened I apparently cuased all of them - NOT!! So, to sum up it does exist and its not just me I know at least 5 middle children and they are the same. I am well adjusted though.

Answer 5

I think there is but not in the way they describe it.
I'm a middle child, sometimes i feel like if i don't get enough attention from my parents. But i think its because middle child's tend to be the most well behaved and the smartest. In my point of view, middle child's don't need that much attention because they are the most balanced people.

Answer 6

all children are different. a middle child may or may not feel overlooked depending on their personality. I'm the middle child of seven children and yes i did feel a bit left out at times but so does my youngest sibling who feels left out because he is the youngest. all children are different and it can be any child in a family that can feel overlooked not just a middle child in my opinion.

Answer 7

I think there is such a thing. My husband is a middle child and his mother's favourite. I was the eldest and expected to set an example was eventually cut off from family, one after me had downs' syndrome, next one was middle child and is 'perfect in every way', one after her left home because she couldn't compete with perfect sister and cut off from family and youngest left home and now heroine addict, oh big suprise, cut off from family also. You tell me I'm wrong.

Answer 8

It isn't a recent rumor and no there is no such thing because people will never be able to control truth. That is a label that is actually targeting parent/son or daughter relationship and breaks relationships *down*.

Answer 9

I was middle of 3 girls yes I did have feeling of being unwanted, my dad was all for the eldest and my mum revolved around the youngest. I was told I was just jealous. I had 3 sons myself I hope all of my sons know they were wanted

Answer 10

I think that is a man made syndrome, i think middle child syndrome is silly and its an excuse like sexual addiction to not take responisbility for our actions