Need some serious help here...What is NOT okay to gossip about with friends and or family?

Question

I had made a serious promise to a friend and to myself that I would be good as gold and NOT gossip any longer...but, I messed up and slipped up!
I really need to know if there are things that are okay to gossip about..and Also...mainly what do you keep your mouth closed on?
Give me all types of examples...if you could please..as this can help me out sooo much!

I "know " better..but, lately I have made a few mistakes..and I have had to go back and apologize to others for what I have said to them about others!
I feel terrible!
I don't like that I slipped up...it bothers me ALOT!!!
So, if you can please give me some honest and kind advice...that would help me out greatly!

(I was trying to find like a Dear Abby or Dear Ann Landers List of "Dos' and Don'ts...so as to help me...if anybody has a list from an advice columnist....send me a link...or whatever!)

Thanks a bunch!!!

also, things that are not okay to gossip about with people that I am still getting to know as well!
Thanks again!

Answer 1

Here's a simple rule to live by....if you would not want the person you are talking about to hear what you have to say...then don't say it to other people either.

It's not gossip if you are simply relating news...if you are making judgments or opinions about what a person is or has done or is planning to do, and you don't have the courtesy to tell them before telling others...then it is pointless and potentially harmful gossip.

By the way, it is very respectable that you want to avoid gossip. You're listening to your conscience, keep it up!

Take Care and God Bless!

Answer 2

Quite frankly I believe it is passing on any information that can be harmful to another's reputation. Telling someone that Joe got married and had a beautiful wedding is not destructive. But talking about how tacky the bridesmaids dresses were, IS gossiping. So if it is harmful to another in any way....keep quiet.

The main reason gossiping is so wrong is because like the game of telephone, people change "facts" a little more each time it is told and soon it doesn't even come close to be real. On top of that, people input their own opinions into a story and make it fact, when it is not.

Just be positive about everything you say and that way you know you are not passing on something that could hurt another.

Another good test is to ask yourself if you would want someone else telling this about you? Remember the golden rule.

Answer 3

My mum has this problem... except she gossips with strangers and friends... and family... and it doesn't help that my best friend's mum is a gossip too, haha

Well, from experience I can say
DON'T discuss family business with strangers. Unless you're at a pshychiatrist, 'cause that's what they're paid to do.
DON'T repeat rumors you may have heard to anyone.
DON'T join in when friends are having a lovely little gossip, just change the subject, or reprimand your friends. It will be tempting to join in, but remember your promise to your friend.

Well, those are some major don't 's I see, but just remember that you shouldn't talk about other people's business, or even your own personal family business.

I keep my mouth closed about my family's private business, especially money- YOU NEVER discuss money. That's a big Don't.

Alright, honey, hoped this helped. Good luck with keeping your promise, =]

Luvs,
Blondie

Answer 4

Proverbs 21:23 tells us "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles."

My guidance for my children is that if you have to think about whether you should say it, don't. If it could possibly hurt someone Else's feelings or betray trust that was confided in you, don't say it. If you wouldn't want someone sharing the same information about you with others,don't say it.

A guide we use to help us focus on what we should say is Philippians 4:8 Think on these things: whatever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, or virtue and praise.

I also think the Golden Rule can apply to the words that come out of our mouths, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Answer 5

Even the word is ugly! GOSSIP"
A good rule about conversations, if you must talk about other people's bus. is BE KIND WITH YOUR WORDS.. as they may come back and bite you.. you know where.
There is so much to talk about, good books, places you have travel to, or just about experiences of the person in front of you, they might appreciate getting something out of their chest, that of course you won't repeat. and that how you build trust and respect. my father used to said.
If you want to enjoy life, be ready to see, listen and keep it to yourself.

Answer 6

A friend of mine said a rule of thumb that made a lot of sense to me. She said don't say anything that you wouldn't want to say if the person you were talking about were there.

Also, I think you can feel whether the thing you're talking about is uplifting or not. If it's not, skip it.

I hope this helps!

Answer 7

Gossip (a polite form of murder by character assasination) is never okay. It was pointed out to me by a wise old man... that we are party to it by simply listening to it in the first place.

Answer 8

Don't ever discuss anything that was told to you in confidence, not even your partner or your closest friend. Never pass on anything that could be construed as nasty or hurtful- even if you say something in the nicest possible way about someone, if it can be twisted don't say it!
Take it from one who knows, I once confided in a so-called mate that my boyfriend was having erection troubles due to stress. She could not wait to tell her sister who told her boyfriend who told all their work colleagues who teased him at work. He never forgave me for it and he is now my ex boyfriend.

Answer 9

The gossip rule is simple: If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it behind their back.

Answer 10

Keep your mouth closed about anything that people tell you that if it were you - you would not want anyone to repeat.