I need advise, please....?

Question

Son is 18 yrs old. His schedule:
7 am- wake up to take gf(16) to school
8am-1pm-sleeps
1pm-3pm - computer
3pm leave to pick up gf from school
3-400pm stays at gf house, drops gf off at work, goes to work
11 pm, gets off work, picks up gf, stays at gf house until 2am
(that thru the week), this is the weekend
7 am up, showers, goes to work
4:30pm, off from work, home to shower
4:30pm-2am, at his gf house
2am, come home. This is how it is every week.

His dad and I talked to him a couple of months ago, told him if this is the way he is going to spend his time, he needed tp move out. He promised us, he would straighten up. He did for about a week, then it went back to the same thing. About 3 weeks ago, he did not come home at all. I called to tell him, he needed to come get his stuff, he gave us another sob story and said he didn't want to move out and that he would change this time. He did for about a week, now it's the same thing. Do you think I'm being too hard on him?

Answer 1

Same thing happened here. My son, now 19, was only about his girlfriend, school and job. Then he quit school. He was being disrespectful, and doing the simple things he was asked to around the house. His life was all about his girlfriend and that's it.

Look, it's your house, your rules. Sure, he is an adult, but if he's so much an adult, then let him live in the real world like an adult. You aren't being hard on him, if you are asking him to live by your rules, under your roof.

If he doesn't like it, he can find somewhere else to have his way. Don't let him use you.

I had to kick my son out... one of the hardest things I've ever had to do... He didn't speak to me for a few months, but now he is coming around, and we are getting along. Sometimes they need a reality check. And my son, he's doing fine finding out about the "real world" and how it operates outside mommy and daddy's house. He has a few problems here and there, but if it's a forceful shove into adulthood that he needs, then it's probably the best thing you can do for him. Tough love is tough on both sides....
Blessings...

P.S. Some people don't know what real and consistent parenting is... they think it's being your childs best friend... lol. You know what you need to do. Don't listen to the losers here, especially those who comment negatively instead of trying to help.

Answer 2

I have a 4 year old
If I tell her pick up your toy she does
if I tell her is bed time and shower time
she does it
if I tell her that she is loved and she tells me too
but do I demand it no-respect and space is very important for self discovery and freedom.
when she gets to the stage like your son she will have to pay either rent or move out or go to college.
she knows my rules and will know them when that or before that time comes.If I was your kids mother which NOT!
In my shoes I would get his little things and take them outside and make him find his own place ASAP..and let him show me who is BOSS NOW.
I do not let my kid walk all over me or they will when they get older like your kid.
His so lucky his not my kid or else he would be crying to homeless shelter ,,or be a good boy and listen to his MOMMY ..
Damm send him here and see if he won;t get his **** together..I will put him in his place..
believe me NO MAN or KID is going to walk all over my pretty little face and tell me what to do HELL NO..
no ones fool and neither should you be one..KICK HIM OUT AND CALL him out on it and don't be afraid if he hates you at first believe me he will grow up real real fast
and will make his head spin that you are a mom and women and he will respect you..in long run..sounds like he does not fear you or respect you? I'm not perfect parent but I think good one since my kid knows what goes and what does NOT! I'm a parent so take it as grain of salt ..nothing personal just sharing what i would do period..send his *** over here and see if he will be online here..
I will make him do this
wake up shower and wash clothes and dishes
go to school than work
and to his girl less than 3 hours and home by 12:00pm
and make him pay rent like for his room 200 dollars ok..or MOVE HELL OUT ASAP

Answer 3

It appears he's working responsibly and spending his time with the girl friend.
That's a 'good` normal teenager.
What's the problem?
If you want him to move out, he's going to have a harder time of it.
Is he saving money, or blowing it?
You might try charging him rent for room & board and bank it for him so when he does move out, he's got a cushion.
It will teach him to budget and what living is going to cost in a gentler way than kicking him out.

Answer 4

Your complaining about a child that works? Are you the step parent? Sounds like he has 2 hours a day to himself, quit your bitchin.

Answer 5

He works! You are such a control freak! Look at how you wrote down his schedule!!!

If I was your son I wouldn't need you to ask me to leave...

Answer 6

not at all. in fact, since he's not listening to you, it sounds like he's not taking you seriously. i know someone very well who does the same thing to her set of parents. either really put your foot down and take drastic measures or give him the boot. love can be tough sometimes too.

Answer 7

he is working and an adult. yeah he should be able to come and go as he pleases. although a polite im not coming home would be nice.

Answer 8

not at all