My brother has been dating the same girl for about two years. She is about to finish medical school and is Filipino (sp?). My brother is just a tech guy for a company making an ok salary but not close to what she is making. He is not at the level of a doctor's intelligence.
I am worried that my brother is going to make a mistake marrying her (which there is talks of engagement throughout the family) and he'll end up in a divorce or something. He is not a doctor and his money will be peanuts after a couple years. Her family is also weird and may not be totally in love with him either. He is older than me and almost 30 so any input I have is considered worthless as I am only in my early 20s.
2007-08-20 16:51:32 · 7 answers · asked by MLeinart7 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hopefully, by the time your brother and his girlfriend are ready to discuss marriage and get engage they will have talked about these issues. The only way to deal with the family problem is that there is more contact between them, and in the end it isn't the family marrying him it's there daughter.
2007-08-20 17:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by Greg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your struggle is with your basic premise, which is that women should marry "up" and men should marry "down." That is, you have the old-fashioned notion (which is common), that a man should be smarter than his wife, better educated, and make more money. You probably think the man needs to be taller, too. In fact, you probably also think that the only place the woman can be better is if she's better looking, and therefore a trophy. I suggest you challenge your notions of what is 'acceptable.' If they're happy, be happy for them. The only thing I would worry about, if I were you, is that he's Jewish and she's not, and they need to decide if they are going to have children, how will they be raised. But I think that's the only place for concern here, and it should be discussed in advance by them, possibly with a spiritual advisor. If you want a helpful book on the subject, try reading, "If you're Jewish and I'm Christian, What Are the Children?"
2007-08-20 17:21:35 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so worried about it and your brother not? I am pretty sure his gf and him have discussed their relationship and are aware of the money difference. If they don't have a problem with it then you shouldn't either...
Love is not based on money and who makes more or less. If they are both aware of it and they know the reality of it and are happy regardless, then you should too.
Obviously if they have been in a relationship for two years and have considered getting married, the chances that they are happy and in love are a given. I can see your concern, but instead you should be happy for your brother. If everything else in his relationship is fine then your main concern shouldn't be that you think he is below her, that's actually rather mean. Doctors don't have to marry doctors.
If for some reason down the road it doesn't work, be their for him to support him, not to tell him I told you so. But in the mean time, be supportive and happy for him because he has a smart woman on his side.
2007-08-20 17:03:52 · answer #3 · answered by Beatriz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it is the last thing that you want to hear but you need to stay out of it. Your brother has been with her for 2 years so obviously he must love her. Anything that you try to say against the relationship is only going to come back to haunt you. You don't want to damage your relationship with your brother. All that you can do is to be there for him. After all some things in life we have to learn for ourselves.
2007-08-20 16:57:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to have to put it like this to you but butt out. Is he happy?? If he's talking about marraige then my guess he Is. It's In laws like you that put strian and pressure on happy realationships just because you cant except your family members ( Your Brother in this case) choice in a partner. Leave them alone. If it doesnt work out, then be there for him.
2007-08-20 16:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember the song with lyrics that go something like
some guy that can't run his own life, I'll be damned if he'll run mine.
how is your life going?
maybe your efforts would be better directed at running your own life. What makes u think you can run his better than he can?
2007-08-20 17:11:28 · answer #6 · answered by Bill R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you think your brother would say ; if you told him .what you are telling us , would he be upset or thank you for your concern . you are going to have to let him live his own life .
2007-08-20 17:03:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋