My maid of honor lives far far away in another state. She isn't going to be able to help me out with a lot of prewedding tasks. When my other bridesmaids were getting their dresses ordered my maid of honor was slacking. I needed her to get measured and then send the bridal shop her measurements so we could order the all the dresses on time. I called her and email her repeatedly and she just ignored me and gave me stupid excuese until the day before the order was due. Can I ask another girl to be my maid of honor instead or is it too late? They wedding is in 3 months...
2007-08-20 14:47:21 · 10 answers · asked by stoli lover 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I told all my bridesmaids if they needed help paying for anything to let me know and I would help them out. So it's not a money issue. I asked her to be my MOH cuz we've been friends for a long time and she's always been there for me when I needed her to be and she never judges anyone. She's typically a great friend but since she's been gone she's a totally different person. I think I was more so upset to her ignoring me and not returning calls or emails for weeks at a time on issues I really needed her to attend to.
I also thought that the MOH was supposed to plan the wedding shower and bachlorette party? So that means she would be there before the wedding and not just at it, as someone talked about earlier.
2007-08-20 16:12:40 · update #1
Obviously you chose her to be yoru maid of honor for a reason, and you knew she was far away. So if you tell her you do not want her to be your MOH you risk losing her friendship. I am sure it is difficult for her as well, I am sure she wants to help but may feel useless being so far away. I have been in 2 long distance weddings, and from a bridesmaid prospective it stinks that i wans't closer and couldn't help more.
Make sure you talk to her and also make sure your bridesmaids keep in touch with her. Even if she can't physically help with a lot of things there are still ways you can involve her.
I suggest that you let her know that if she wants to be your maid of honor that she needs to step up and take the responsibility seriously because you are counting on her help and you really need her support.
I hope it works out!
2007-08-20 15:07:24 · answer #1 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't ask my MOH or other bridesmaids to do 'work' - we asked our wedding party because we wanted them to be there with us and support us. My MOH was really far away, as well, but she is closest in my heart, and that's why I asked her. All she had to do was show up for the rehearsal the evening before the wedding - and at the ceremony, she held my flowers and fluffed my train.
Where I'm from, family helps do the bulk of the work, and happily host a shower.
2007-08-21 02:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her and let her know that you feel like it is difficult for both of you and ask if she still is interested in participating in your wedding. Make this non-conforntational, just here's how I feel, I think this is how you might be feeling, etc.
If she says she a willing participant still, then lay out some guidelines as far as what you need from her from this point out and if she can agree to those, move forward.
If not, then yes, she no longer has to be your MOH or even in your bridal party if you don't want.
2007-08-20 14:54:49 · answer #3 · answered by Randi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Maybe she waited because she didn't have the money. If she lives out of town then you must have known before that she couldn't help out with stuff before the wedding. Not to mention that your Maid of Honor is supposed to be there for you the day of your wedding NOT before. Get a wedding planner if you want or need that.
2007-08-20 15:01:45 · answer #4 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you dont want her to be your MOH then thats fine, but be prepared to have her drop out of the wedding completely and possibly lose a friendship over it. its not the MOH's job to do anything but be there on your wedding day. they are supposed to be a support system for you an a very emotional day in your life. I hate where people think its the MOH's job to do anything. they not getting paid for it...they have no obligations. becuase they are usually true and close friends and family they do ususally help to plan those events, but they do it becuase they want to, not have to. and usually the entire wedding party helps out. you however knew she lived far away when you asked her to be MOH so how did you expect her to do any of these things in the first place. and as for the dress...maybe she had been really busy and wasnt nswering calls and returning your messages becuase she was busy and planned to get to it ASAP but didnt want to be hassled about it. she got it in on time so obviously it was important enough to her to do it. if she really didnt care then she would have totally not dont it at all. just chill out and stop sweating the small stuff. if you want to drop your MOH becuase she lives to far away (which is your fault for asking her) and becuase she has a life outside your wedding then she probably has good reason not to want to return your calls...just clam down and relax.
2007-08-20 16:42:30 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I definatly see your fustration. I had a lady volunteer to help do the coordination. Then was a no show. I asked her to do something else that didn't involve her to be so active so that I can get things done. I dont think that there's anything wrong with that. just talk to her first and see what her problem is. If there is somethng else she can do then ask her to do that. Other than that she should understand and take the alternate role.
2007-08-20 15:00:13 · answer #6 · answered by LOVE BEING A MOMMY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds to me as though the MOH is not taking her duties seriously. I'd say find another MOH who is more reliable. Yes, you'll lose her friendship, but with flaky friends like that who needs enemies, I say.
2007-08-20 17:54:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding do what you want. I would just tell her that you have had a change of heart and that with her lack of trying to do the things you asked her you think it would be best if she is not in the wedding.
2007-08-20 15:18:02 · answer #8 · answered by mom of 5 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes but why did you pick her? Did she move out of state. Write down what your thinking and sort it out with yourself first and then talk to her about it. People don't like being demoted- and you don't want her to drop out or anything, right?
I actually kicked a bridesmaid out myself so I understand completely!!
2007-08-20 14:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she doesn't respect you enough to do what she needs for your wedding, then go ahead and give that title to someone else. Sounds like she's not interested.
2007-08-20 15:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by dragonflykagerou84 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋