What to do about my dad having throat cancer?

Question

My dad has been sick with strep throat like symptoms for about 6 weeks. After he went to the doctor he eventually got a biopsy. Today the test came back positive for cancer and he is really freaked out. I was just wondering if anyone has known anyone with throat cancer, and if so how it has affected the patient. All my dad talks about is making sure the house is paid off and that he has enough life insurance. Is this normal for someone recently diagnosed with cancer? He seems so morbid about everything. My sister and I are going off to college this week and I know I'm going to have to come home a lot to do the things he has always done (mow the lawn, rake the leaves etc.). I just don't want to make him feel weak when he starts his radiation and chemo. What did you do for your loved one when they were going through treatment?
Sorry if I was rambling but it's been a long day. Just share your story of how you got through it and what you did to make them feel better?

Answer 1

My sympathies to you and your family.

My mother is a breast cancer survivor. WHen she got the diagnosis, I called the American Cancer Society and told them I wanted the best and most current information about the disease and about being a fmaily member of someone with the disease. The information I got was invaluable and may have saved my mothers life. I highly recommend that you inform yourself.

Engage as much as you can with your new college experience. This illness is part of your reality now, but it's not all of your reality. Your life is still happening and you have a right to it. It's great that you want to be able to support your family during this difficult time (it shows you have a lot of charecter) but don't short change your education. I'm sure your Dad would not be happy if he paid for your first year of college and you didn't do well grade wise or were so busy with his illness that you didn't make new friends. College is as much about growing as it is about learning.

Answer 2

When you get a cancer diagnosis you feel terminal - no mater how optimistic the doctor may be. He wants his family taken care of in the event that he does lose to the disease and by filling his time with those plans he can keep his mind off his feeling of helplessness. Cause believe me, you feel helpless - you are now at the mercy of the health system and all the slashing and burning and poisoning they do to control cancer. The treatments are time consuming and the lost work time is a financial burden. He has a lot on his plate. Just listen to him and do what you can. Research is a nice place to start - he may not be as computer literate as you and may appreciate the help - that is if he is the type person who wants to know everything about this - some people like to keep their heads in the sand.
So make him proud - his family is his reason to live and that is evidence by his first concern.

Answer 3

My dad passed away from esophageal cancer(throat ) last year. His dr failed to diagnosis him for two years. I believe he would be alive today if the appropriate tests were done when he first was having difficulty swallowing. He had part of his esaphagus removed and radiation treatment-but it was too late, the cancer had already spread. Make sure there are no delays in his treatment --this can cost him his life. It is normal for him to think this way --he wants to take care of his family. Usually they follow a pattern of denial, anger, acceptance. It is important that you remain a positive influence in his life no matter what the outcome. Any added stress adds stress on the body and does not help in the healing process when he is going through his treatments. Do everything you can to help--no matter what ,he will feel bitter and angry that he can't do what he has always done, but he needs all his strength for his body to heal. The yard will wait it is not important. Let him know that he needs to focus his energy on healing his body and reducing his stress. Using humor always helps, tell him " not to get too used to it" its temporary until he is well again. Always have hope. I know I probably scared you telling you that my Dad died, but he was 72 had other health issues and was misdiagnosed to begin with. I honestly do think he would have recoved if you would have been treated properly. so keep good spirits.

Answer 4

My brother was treated for this nearly 3 years ago.

His treatments were going smoothly until her decided to fix the TV antena in the middle of it all, slipped, fell of the roof and broke his ankle!

Sister-in-law found him impossible to live with after that!

The treatments were onerous, but the recovery afterwards was great, you would never dream he had been trerated for cancer if you met him today!

It is normal to think about your own mortality after a diagnosis of cancer, and to make sure things are in order in case of the worst, but remind him what he has to live for, and he will be able to fight this!

Hugs to you and your family, this will be a tough few months but there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Answer 5

i'm so sorry. From a fellow maximum cancers little one spend as lots time a u can with him. My mom surpassed directly to the excellent beyond by using pancreatic maximum cancers somewhat extra effective than a year in the past. Ik human beings often times say that whilst they are long previous to not have any regrets, properly I do, I desire I stayed together with her each and every 2nd of the day from the day we foun out to the day she surpassed (6 months and that i only became 15 the day previous to this). Now it is for me. yet i'm nt attempting to evangelise to u asserting try this and try this. i'm only attempting to supply advice that i could have enjoyed to u do u have not got the comparable regrets that have have daily. tell u dad to wipe maximum cancers clean into inviniti and previous! ;)

Answer 6

Ben, so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis and bravo to you for wanting to help. Yes, it's completely normal for him to be saying things about paying off the house and checking his life insurance. That's how some people cope with the shock of it all -- to focus on tasks and things that need to be done.

I lost my mom to cancer 3+ years ago. I found these things to be most helpful as I walked the path with her through diagnosis, treatment, a remission, recurrence and finally, the end of her life.

1. I listened to and respected my mom's wishes, even when I disagreed with her approach or her decision. I tried to always keep in mind that just because she was ill, she didn't lose the right to be in charge of her life or make her own decisions.

2. I went with her to her appointments whenever I could, to be an extra set of eyes and ears. I recognize that since you and your sister are in school, this may be hard for you. Is there anyone else who could help?

3. I helped w/ household chores whenever I could, but I didn't try to take over or make my mother feel helpless. I always asked, "would you like me to. . " or "how about if I. . ." and never just barged in and did something w/o checking to see if it was OK.

4. I listened to my mother's fears/hopes and tried not to judge or question. I didn't offer pat reassurances like "you'll be OK" or "you're not going to die." On the other hand, I wasn't gloomy either. I tried to look for reasons to be encouraged whenever I could. I tried to help my mom stay in the moment and to remember that for today, she was OK.

5. If your dad is the type of person who might benefit from a cancer support group, you could check w/ your local hospital or cancer center to find one for him. This wasn't something my mother opted to do, but many people find it very helpful to share their experiences with other people who are going through similar treatments, etc.

6. Don't forget to get help for yourself -- there are groups for people who have a family member who is ill w/ cancer. Learn all you can about your dad's diagnosis and treatment so you know what to expect.

7. If you are going away to school, call your dad often and send him notes, cards, to let him know how much you care.

Good luck, and God bless.