Desperately in need of opinions, if you don't mind?

Question

I really, really want sleeves for my wedding dress. The problem is they're just not popular right now, so it's very hard to find dresses with sleeves. I bought a strapless ivory gown, but I still really want sleeves.

I'm getting my dress altered tomorrow, so I need to know what I'm wearing with it before I go... and I sort of had an epiphany. My aunt's old wedding dress has sleeves that I like (though the dress is a different style than what I want to wear), so I thought, what if I wore her dress under mine.

I'm wavering back and forth on how it looks. The dress is ivory, but the sleeves are white... does it work? I would love it if it works, my life would be so much simpler. However, if it doesn't work, I don't want to walk down the aisle looking foolish. Please give me your honest (but tactful) opinions.

http://s238.photobucket.com/albums/ff65/bridebc/?action=view¤t=adress2cropped.jpg

http://s238.photobucket.com/albums/ff65/bridebc/?action=view¤t=adress5.jpg

http://s238.photobucket.com/albums/ff65/bridebc/?action=view¤t=adress1.jpg

Just FYI, the ivory dress is currently too big for me and needs to be altered, just in case it looks strange.

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I've been working hard to try to find the right style bolero. I even made some mock ups. And I have been hoping to find someone who will find fabric to match who will make it for me.

Everyone I talked to said I would have to provide the fabric and none of them dye fabric. So I'm not sure where to go from there. Ivory is hard to match... I can sew a bolero, but it's not going to match the dress.

And yes, I want bell or trumpet sleeves.

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Cory C - Thank you for your answer. The first link you gave me was the first dress I looked for (though, the skirt is bigger than I would have liked.) The trouble is, none of the dress shops near me carried Mary's dresses.

My wedding is in less than 2 months now, so I don't have time to order a dress either. I have been looking hard for over a year, and just have not found an A-line dress, with a fitted bodice, embroidery, and trumpet sleeves.

Please don't tell me I haven't looked hard enough for a dress. You have no idea how hard I've been looking and for how long.

Answer 1

honey, just get a small bolero jacket made that has sleeves and fits over the top of the bodice of the dress. it could be made of the same material as your dress or lace and be see-thru but would cover your arms. i would not recommend your aunts dress.

Answer 2

I really like the way the style of the sleeves looks with the bodice of the dress. It looks very royal and beautiful, but the fabrics and colors just dont look good together. If you're having a hard time matching the exact fabric type and color, how about having the sleeves in a sheer fabric. You can match it to the closest possible ivory you can (although your dress looks more beige than ivory) and even if you dont get the exact match it will be fine because of the difference in fabrics. You can take your dress to get altered and get the sleeves sewed in there. If you live anywhere in the central california area, my mom does these kinds of alterations and I'm sure she'd do a great job on your dress.

Your idea does look incredible though. I hope it works out for you. My sleeves were similar to what you want. Here's a pic of my wedding day...

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e343/escobedomaricela/Mariswedding.jpg

Answer 3

I am sorry that you cannot find a dress with sleeves, but here is a suggestion - if you like the sleeves on the dress your relative wore, perhaps the person doing the alterations can give you some ideas so she could incorporate that idea into the dress. Any good seamstress could do that. Yes, it is true you could get a white lace bolero to cover your arms, but where would you get that? Insist that the seamstress that is going to alter your dress gives you some idea of her 'fix', as you do not want to ruin the rest of the dress. But sleeves are not that hard to put in so she should be able to come up with something. Good luck to you and be positive with this seamstress, whether she likes the idea or not. Happy wedding day and a happy marriage ........ps -- do NOT wear your aunts dress under your own gown especially because of the difference in color..... .

Answer 4

I'm sure I'm not the only one who looked at the pics four or five times already! Your gown is very beautiful. On first seeing the combo with the other dress under, it's very striking actually - and does give it that Renaissance kind of look. However, practically, as others have said, the fabric/feeling of the two clashes. Bu the idea is a cool one.
It just seems to me there has to be an experienced seamstress out there who can duplicate the sleeves and the part above the bodice - in a fabric complementing your original gown. Something nearing the gold embroidery would be stunning, or go lighter.
Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I love the style of sleeves, it's very "romantic" looking for want of a better word, I am swithering as to whether I like it under the dress or not, I'll keep looking back today, I think the thing that is putting me off is a) the colours, I can't decide if they go or not and b) the fact that the materials are very different. It is an interesting and striking effect, I just cannot make up my mind on it. I know for a fact any decent dress maker will be able to make sleeves on your dress, I know because my dressmaker has just done this for another girl's dress that she was working on at the same time as mine and I saw it done, it looked great, I'd definitely investigate the decent dress makers in your area, they can advise professionally what would be best to do. I'll keep looking at your pictures in the meantime.

Answer 6

I can't believe they can't make you sleeves. The shape of the sleeves looks nice with the dress but the color difference and the material make it look strange. People would wonder why you were wearing something that looks like a white costume or nightgown under an ivory strapless dress. I think you would be better off wearing long gloves and a matching wrap if you are worried about your arms. If you just want the sleeves for another reason I think you should forget about it. If you wanted/needed them that bad you shouldn't have bought that dress. There are many dresses with sleeves out there if you looked harder.

Answer 7

Well, I'm clearly the fish swimming against the stream here, but I like the look, different colors and all. It's got sort of a fantasy/Renaissance look that I honestly love.

My one concern actually, would be whether you'll be comfortable wearing two whole dresses the whole day.

Is your aunt concerned with getting her gown back in one piece? If not, you might be able to see if the seamstress can add the sleeves and lace from your aunt's gown to your gown.

If she does want it back unchanged, then either wear her gown with its lovely sleeves, or thank her and see if you can find a small jacket or bolero you can wear with your gown.

Or, if you think you can be comfortable wearing two gowns for your wedding, I think it looks lovely and magical.

ETA: if you have to bring fabric to make a bolero, consider using the color the bridesmaids are going to wear (or a deeper or lighter shade of the same color if it's going to be difficult to match) instead of trying to match that shade of ivory.

Answer 8

No it does not go together and you already know this. You do like the style of your dress but prefer the sleeve look of your Aunts dress. Do not where it underneath your dress not only will it make you look foolish but it will make you look bigger than you are or cramped. My suggestion if you can browse for another dress find one that you like and return your dress or sell it. If you can not find one that you like try taking the sleeves from your Aunt's dress and have the dress dyed to match. If you can not afford that than just wear the dress you have now and where one of those lacy covers that go over your shoulders and a veil to match. Be creative and you will look great. Congratulations.

Answer 9

your dress is stunning! you have great taste. but i wouldn't wear the other dress under it. however i do like the look of the sleeves and the creamy white with the color of your gown.
so, if you can sew why not make yourself a copy of your aunt's dress, [or go back to your seamstress and get her to do it], but just from the rib cage up? what i mean is copy the bodice and sleeves of your aunt's dress, don't sew them into your dress, wear it as a separate piece like a petticoat. you would make the piece fit you by elasticising the bottom of it, so it will snug up under your breasts, just like a bra!
only other idea i could think of was
have you considered instead of sleeves the idea of a wrap -like a shawl?
your seamstress could easily make you a beautiful wrap from tulle, in the right color. or if you can sew you could do it yourself! tulle lends itself well to the idea as it is light but will look full and add a bit of flair to your ensemble. you could even have them done for your attendants.
if you haven't been able to find a bolero jacket this could be the answer! and as you said time is running short for you!
i'm concerned that adding sleeves will destroy the line of your gown, and its far too beautiful to risk doing that!
i hope this is of some help to you and wish you the most perfect marriage!
good luck!

Answer 10

There is no need to wear her dress under yours. If you have her permission, I would suggest find a seamstree who is experienced in wedding gown restoration. They should be able to remove the sleeves from your aunts dress and rework them to sleeves on your dress.

Also the color difference should not be a problem, simple tea stain should match the sleeves to the dress and your seamstress should know how to do that!

Another idea is have your aunts dress made into a shrug or small jacket. I am sure you will be able to work something out.
Good luck!

Answer 11

If you do not want to do it, then just tell him straight away how you feel. If he prods you anymore, then you already know that he probably is not going to stick around so get his social security number and other pertinent information while you can. But you have to be up front with him and tell him how you feel. If he thinks that you are thinking about going through with an abortion for him, he will keep prodding and pressuring you about it. But if he knows how you feel, he will either be supportive or not. No "Well, I don't know" or "Let me think about it" Tell him "I am not going to get an abortion and I do not care if that means I will be raising a child without you." You obviously do not want to abort in the first place, so just don't do it. He can not make you do it and it is silly to do it just because he wants it done. However if you truly want one yourself (which I do not see in your post anyway) than that is your choice. And seriously adoption has nothing to do with abortion. You obviously would rather parent alone if you had too; reading your post. Sometimes I wonder if people even read these posts or suddenly see abortion in there somewhere and spout their personal agendas.... So forgive this ranting paragraph and be upfront with him about how you feel so he will stop bothering you about it and if he doesn't stop bothering you about it then he is a jackarse.