How do you pick out a girl without using physical appearance?

Question

Most guys see a crowd of women and can pick out the most attractive to their taste. I don't care what a woman looks like, so for me to know in whom I'm interested, I need a half-hour of decent conversation, which isn't possible walking down the street or at a lively party. I'm not incapable of asking a girl out, but I'm too nervous to do it without some real desire to be with this person rather than any other. I need some way to spot quality women in a short time. I am not sure such a thing exists, but does anyone have any ideas?

Thanks, all. It won't let me pick a best answer yet so I'll comment instead. I'm going to try the speed-dating as well as re-focus on learning how mannerisms match personality. I already use the technique of joining clubs and groups to meet girls with similar interests, but it's good to pass on.

Those people who say that attraction is an important thing, you may be right for most people, but seeing as I have concious control over my taste (after years of meditation and such) it's rather irrelevant since I generally alter my idea of beauty to exactly match whoever I'm interested in. I was coaching another guy on how to do this but stopped when I realised how much trouble it was giving me.

Answer 1

Body language, mannerisms and facial expression.

These three things can tell you a lot about a person if you know how to read them. In fact to a somewhat lesser degree of accuracy, even the way they dress, do their hair and makeup, are clues to what kind of person she could be.

You just have to learn about people. Watch the people you know, like your friends and relatives, and try to make some correlations between certain characters and their mannerisms, body language and appearance.

Then learn to be observant, and use what you've learned to see if you can identify certain kinds of people based on these correlations. It isn't a 100% fool proof solution, but it will get you in the ball park...

Answer 2

I personally am attracted by a cute smile and just generally a person who looks happy and secure in themselves. It generally works out better than picking those 'pretty boys', if you like, the ones with a completely serious look on their gorgeous faces. I think you can tell a nice woman by how she acts - her body language; laughing, smiling a lot; and her attitude. If you spot one who interests you, just go up and have a chat, if she turns you down, she was obviously never a quality woman to begin with!

Answer 3

It is very complicated but if you sit back and watch people don't interact just watch and listen you will begin to pick up subtle differences between their attitudes I spent a # of YEARS doing this but it does not take that long if you are looking for specific things. It is all about the way they walk, carry themselves, look at others, talk, and how they use their body.

Answer 4

You can't. It is one of many aspects to relationships one has to deal with. Appearance may or may not be important to you but it will effect how you feel about someone. You would not become a vegetarian if you hated veggies? It takes time and will happen as you know you better. Just have fun and do not worry. Men will always chase woman untill one of them catches them . Peace

Answer 5

you could try one of thoes dating things where you have a 5 minute date with many women just to see who might interest you. Sounds kinda fun too! Wish there were more men like you who were interested in women for who they are, not what they look like! Hope you find someone wonderful!!

Answer 6

Impossible, honey! I don't know if you have noticed but life is like one big costume party. We all walk around with our facades like masks over our personalities. You need to socialise to find someone you like. I recommend approaching a large group of girls so that you can talk to a bunch of people at once.

Answer 7

you need to sacrifice to spend time to get to know a person.

you are not picking your apples.

don't forget that you need a person who you are first attracted to her before you think about the inside theory. Don't ever lie to yourself that attraction doesn't matter. Not the beauty but you need to be attracted to a person in a short run is nothing but in a long run relationship it is important.

Answer 8

Try speed dating - you will spend 5-8 minutes talking to each woman and you can make your choice from there.

Answer 9

Go to a service activity or join a club that interests you, and there should be some girls that share your interests...

Answer 10

Eyes get my attention and the personality holds me. If she has a sense of humor, is confident in herself and does not take life to seriously, then I will like her.