Ok..i'm stuck and I'm going through hell right now.
Girl #1- Me and her used to go out but we broke up because i couldn't handle the distance (she lives like an hour and a half away and I'm only 17 so i don't have a car) but other than the distance i loved her dearly. I still do..but the distance still stands in the way and i don't know if i'll be able to handle it because i dont want the same thing to happen like last time.
Girl #2- i broke up with girl #1 to go with this girl because i was really startin to like her n she lived closer so i thought i could make things work with her. I did make things work with her and next thing you know we were all in love. It seemed like we were so good together but i also still had feelings for my ex and she found out and it hit her heart with a spear..so she broke up with me because even with time i still loved my ex and she couldnt take it anymore. She told me that when i didnt have anymo feelings for my ex that she'd be waitin.
What now?
2007-08-20 06:38:10 · 20 answers · asked by Keep It Mellow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
girl #2 made the right decision.she wants to be number one in your life.although you broke up with girl#1,your feelings for her weren't completely gone and you should have waited awhile before moving on.i can understand how you were feeling.it's hard to move on with someone else and ignore the feelings you still were having for your ex.that is perfectly normal.what you have to do now is ask yourself are you willing to be in a relationship that is stresed do to the fact that your gf(ex) is so far away.is it gonna work?if you know that that's not an option,allow yourself the proper time to get over your ex.if girl#2 is willing like she said she is then there's your answer.she seems very understanding given the fact that she told you she would be there when you have finally gotten over your ex.so just do yourself a favor.let time heal the past relationship and the feelings will eventually began to fade.this will allow you to go into this new relationship whole-heartedly.good luck and remember,you decide what will be better for you!
2007-08-20 06:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help how you feel, you can't tell yourself to stop feeling something for someone. However, you didn't say how girl #2 found out you still had feelings for girl #1. Do you talk about girl #1? If so, that isn't very fair. As we move on into other relationships in our lives, remnants of feelings remain for former relationships. However, people break up because the relationships were not workable for whatever reason, not because there were no longer feelings. It is unreasonable for anyone to tell you that you can't have feelings for someone else. If the only reason you broke it off with girl #1 is distance, and she feels the same about you, time will bring you together as you get older and find ways to be together. In the meantime, date others, but don't behave as if you're pining for a lost love or you may never realize a good relationship when it is right in front of you. You are young. Enjoy life and don't be so serious about love yet. There is plenty of time for that when you are educated and settled.
2007-08-20 06:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by AytymnRain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think girl one is probably the girl for you but . Girl 2 is now out of the question because now there are trust issues. She will always be wondering if you still have feelings for your ex no matter how much time goes by. This will just fester into other aspects of your relationship. I just dont thik you are quite ready to move on from girl one, and until you have a grip on it one way or the other you really have no buisness trying a real serious relationship with anyone else for your sake or theirs. Tlk with girl one about what she thinks and if shes having any simlar doupts and or feelings. Then maybe you can come to a good conclution together that you date other people to see if you have what you want in eachother by comparing to others. You are after all pretty young. Either that or pull yourself together and get back with the one you really want. Girl 2 is out for now anyway. Maybe down the road if you do come to the conclution that you do not love girl one but for the short to mid turm that can not work.
Good Luck
2007-08-20 07:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Distance is a real b**** and a good tester, too. Time will tell if it's a relationship that was meant to be, depending on whether the two of you decide to find a way to deal with the distance problem or not.
Maybe your feelings for your ex are really strong. Are they?
It is understandable that the other girl is feeling so hurt. No one wants to be with a person who is still loving someone else.
Does your ex (girl#1) love you as much as you love her? You should find out.
2007-08-20 07:04:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you said you loved your ex but you broke up with her because of the distance. Then you said you broke up with her to go out with another girl you were starting to like.
Come to grips with this. You broke up with your ex, not because of the distance, but because of this other girl. Now you still have feelings for your ex.
Is it possible that the feelings you have for your ex are part fantasy? By that I mean that maybe you've idealized her in some way making it impossible to move past her.
How does she feel? Does she want you back? Is she seeing someone else? Personally, I don't think you were really in love with her. You got the wandering eye and wanted someone you could be close to physically.
Figure out what you want. Think back to the first relationship and ask yourself if it was really going great. If so, then talk to your ex. If not, then deal with the breakup and move on. Stay single for a while.
2007-08-20 06:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by lanagrl78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, you're choice shouldn't be so hard. Who is it that you really love?
It's unfair that you've been stringing these ladies along with your own emotional and logistical issues. It's not their problem that (1) you don't have a car or (2) that you can't seem to make a choice. Neither of these ladies signed up for that crap--they signed up to have a relationship with someone responsible enough to know what his limitations are and how he and he alone can transcend them to make the relationship he CHOOSES work. It seems that neither ladies got anything out of the relationship that they expected.
Girl #1 - If you still love her, then you should buy a friggin' car. Creating a wholly new relationship solely on the basis that this chick lived far away from you is not a reason to string her along, emotionally. You should tell her what you are and aren't prepared to do currently to make a relationship work, and let her decide. As it is, you two aren't together, so perhaps you should just continue to let this one go, since you don't indicate that you plan on doing anything constructive and actively to change the circumstance.
Girl #2 - This is your worse mistake--you created a "transistional" relationship with this chick to "get over" Girl #1 and then fell in love with her. Let me school you--you don't have equal feelings for two people; it's not possible. For you to even still harbor feelings for your ex, means you haven't committed your heart 100% to Girl #2, so no, you didn't really fall in love with her. You are extremely fond of her, and could love her, if you didn't love someone else. This is such an unfair situation to put anyone through, and I don't think you realized the ramifications of your actions before taking on the relationship with Girl #2. I mean, if you were fully "present" emotionally for her, how is it that she "discovered" your feelings for your ex? Because you allowed her to; subconsciously perhaps you wanted her to. I don't blame her for breaking up with you. However, I don't agree that she should wait for you. Why? You're still "in love" with your ex. The sooner you release Girl #2 to find someone who will love her completely and give her the honest and considered relationship she deserves, the better your karma will be. Ha!
You - Get your relationship priorities straight before you start engaging people's emotions. It is only fair for your partner to know exactly where you stand (and where you live) in relation to what kind of committment you can truly give them.
2007-08-20 07:23:08 · answer #6 · answered by dangerouspoet 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just answered your own question when you were with Girl #2 you said you starting to have feelings for your ex....well that is the person you should be with. The distance thing is hard (I have experience) make it work if you really love the girl but you will have to move to where she is at or she has to move where you are make it really work. As for Girl #2 she sounds like a rebound girl to me. Good luck!
2007-08-20 06:45:31 · answer #7 · answered by Lety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you have feelings for your ex, it's going to be an issue in any new relationship. Girl #2 is smart. I think you should stick with Girl #1 and just try to cope with the distance thing. If you love her, nothing should stand in your way. My wife lived 250 miles away when we first dated.
2007-08-20 06:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by Sizzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't love both of them or you'll never be happy. The choice is yours. Move on from girl 1 and try again with girl 2, or suck it up and learn to live with the distance. But, if you can't decide between the two, then neither are right for you. Go meet someone else.
2007-08-20 06:43:21 · answer #9 · answered by Jordan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl #2...why because..
---she says she wants u back once u dont have feeling for ur ex gf, meaning she still loves u.
---distance is a killer in relationships, the closer the better
---u said it urself buddy, u fell in love with her
and stop thinking too hard about it, it just makes things worse.
2007-08-20 06:43:45 · answer #10 · answered by Sk8ing Hawaii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋