when is it time to stop parenting your children?

Answer 1

once they reach 18

Answer 2

Honey, I am 25 and my parents still parent me. According to psychologists parents and children are supposed to go through 4 relationship transitions over the course of their lives. First is the Parent/Child relationship which doesnt truly ever end. Second is the Friends relationship which is where I am at right now. I love this stage, I can call and ask my parents for advice, talk about friends, work, gossip and everything else! Its great! Third there is the Advisor/Parent stage when your kids have kids and you are the grandparent and you attempt to help them raise their children. This is sort of an awkward stage in that how you raised your children and how your children want to raise their kids doesnt always mesh. Lastly there is the reversal of the Parent/Child relationship when the parent has become geriatric and the child is now parenting the parent while the parent behaves like the child. This is the hardest stage of life. No one wants to see their father or mother regress like that but as the parent ages they become prone to mental diseases like Dementia, Alzheimers, and other things. Strokes make it difficult also. Its hard because the parent demands to be respected while having no choice but to accept the assistance the child is giving. The child wants to respect the parent but also must do what is best for them even if the parent doesnt like it. Its a Catch-22 at best. So to answer your question there isnt so much a set age at which you stop, its a gradual release of control over their lives and encouragement for them to stand on their own to the best of their ability. The biggest thing is letting them lead their own lives without attempting to control them but being there to offer help and advice as needed.

Answer 3

Parenting is not mere conditioning children in to something peculiar about their own family and traditions. Parenting is so vast, the more they do the better for their children. But it has too many facets, phases, stages and therefore, needs a relook at different stages of children's growth.

In the very traditional sense of large and big joint family system (Indian joint family system), parenting never ended until the parents died and eventually the children died. Because in a joint family once the parents die they will be replaced by a very senior person in the family as head member. This person would still continue to parent the whole family until the parented child (at a very old ripe age) dies. It may continue even when the child reaches the age of 80.

Answer 4

My children are 44,41 and 32 and I still try to parent them LOL
Once a parent ,always a parent.
When they turned 19,is when I figured they should know right from wrong by what I had taught them and I let them make their own decisions.I was always there for guidance if they wanted it and still am to this day.I never stick my nose into their affairs unless thay ask.
I think you never get over being a parent.I still worry about them and now I worry about my grandkids too.I guess it's not really worry.More like concern.Wondering if they're ok etc. like when they go on trips,start new jobs,whatever.
Anyway,they've all turned out to be fine,responsible citizens and I'm proud of them. Just do what you feel is best for yours.It depends on their character and a lot of other things like being responsible and how mature they are.

Answer 5

I do not believe one ever stops parenting their children. A parent will always be there for advice and a shoulder to cry on. There is a time when a parent is not all in the child's business, I believe each child/parent would differ on this though depending on a maturity level not age.

Answer 6

That depends on what you mean by parenting. Your kids will always be your children and you will always want to take care of them. But when they are through with school and become adults, then you need to let them make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes. You can't always help your adult children out because at some point they have to learn to be adults. They need to pay their own bills and decide what kind of work they want to do and who they will marry and how to raise their own children. As a parent, you don't get to decide all that for your kids. As long as they are minors though you do.

Answer 7

My personal opinion, when I die I will stop parenting my children :)

Obviously as the child grows/matures, the parent-child relationship changes. But I am a married mother of two and still turn to my parents for advice from time to time.

Answer 8

You should always parent your children. But when they're adults the relationship should be different. If they ask for advice you can give it. But once they're married and have children of their own you should butt out unless they really ask for advice. I wouldn't ever get involved in fighting with a spouse, and stuff like that because it's not your place even if you are the parent. Of course if something like abuse is happening that's different.

Answer 9

As you never cease to be parents I find this a strange question. Children should always feel that they can come to you for loving support. Maybe the answer is when you are dead.

If you mean just giving them free hand-outs - well should you ever start that in the first place - I think not.

Answer 10

I still go to my mother and I am 23 years old. I believe that parents will never stop parenting their kids to some point. My Dad called his Mom often even into his 30s and 40s.

Answer 11

I think that once they are married, you need to allow their primary relationship to be with their spouse (which means don't get involved in their arguments, unless someone is being abused).

Once they are self-supporting, you can't really tell them what to do. If they live in your home, you have some influence. Otherwise, you can certainly offer advice when it is requested (or in extreme situations, when it is not), let them know that if they need your help to solve a problem, you're there, but you can't bail them out of every consequence of their decisions.

When I was in college, I lived at home for the first 2 years. My parents certainly allowed me some leeway, but I was expected to maintain good grades and work, as well as follow house rules (no sleeping over at boyfriends' apartments, clean up after myself, do chores, call if I'm going to be out late). My parents paid for the utilities, the mortgage, and food, but other things were my responsiblity.

Now that I'm married and have kids, my mom stays out of my business. She occasionally offers advice if I ask for it or if it's really needed. We speak daily, and see each other often, but our relationship different. I'm an adult. She'll always be my mom, and will always worry about me, but she lets me fall flat on my face if I make a bad choice :)

Oh, she does still do most of my clothes shopping for me. I'm a stay at home mom on a very tight budget, and she knows I'll never spend a cent on myself.