i finally told my parents that i was atheist. my mom is catholic, and my dad is christian. we don't go to church, but my mom is still very religious. she doesnt want to accept the fact that i'm atheist. usually when i do something, shell go around telling all her friends about it. but now that i tell her i'm atheist, she doesn't want anyone to know! my dad doesnt seem to make a big deal out of it. he thinks that i should have the right to believe in what i want to believe in, buy my mom's obviously anti that. how do i get her to become ok with me being atheist? or is that even possible? i also went school shopping with her, and i found a really cute pair of shoes with skulls on it, and she grabbed my arm and stormed out the store and said 'skulls represent the devil, i don't like them' and refuses to buy me anything with skulls. just because their skulls doesnt mean i'm trying to represent the devil!! i just think they looked cute! so how do i convince her that skulls/atheism is ok?
2007-08-20 05:58:28 · 11 answers · asked by ♪my goddess♪ 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
She might never be "OK" with all that. You'll have to deal with stuff like that the way everyone else does--ignore it until you get your own place, then live as you see fit.
2007-08-20 06:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I told my parents I was an atheist at about 13. Similar situation-mom catholic, dad apathetic. I still went to church with my family while I lived with them-yes, I complained and whined and carried on, but I did as she said because she is my mom.
As I got older my mom stopped being so concerned-she saw (and sees now) that I am a very caring, kind, and generous person. I tell her I am that way because of how *she* raised me, not because I have to believe in any deity to be so.
So discuss, not fight, with your mother on occassions when it is appropriate. She will realize you are still her wonderful daughter-she will of course still wish that you return to the church. :)
And as long as she is paying for your clothes, no skulls for you! :) You should be able to buy whatever you like with your own money though-then the skull conversation can come up as to how they are simply cool, and not a sign of the devil.
2007-08-20 13:15:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get her into a calm state, you may not be able to do this for a while, and then talk to her.
As soon as it starts becoming emotional try to stop the discussion and then take it up again when both of you are calm again.
You need to remind her that you are what you are. She needs to accept that reality just as you accept her for what she is.
And go shopping with your dad. (Although I would not tend to put the words 'skull' and 'cute' together either. LOL)
Good luck.
Edit:
You could talk to your dad about the situation. He probably has a lot more experience in dealing with your mother than you, and may be able to give some good insight.
2007-08-20 13:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by Simon T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, why are you an atheist?
Why don't you try explaining to your mom how you came to this conclusion and what made you think this way.
Skulls aren't the devil, but to a religious Catholic woman, not too many things DON'T disturb them. ( I know, my mom is Catholic too). Try explaining to her that it's just a fashion trend and point out skulls on clothes, on tv, etc. if you can. If not, and you really want those shoes, get the money some other way and buy them yourself.
2007-08-20 13:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by Frank 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, first, its none of your parents business what your religion is. Why would you want them to go around blasting your religion (or lack of it) to everyone around you? Atheists aren't exactly well received by society, especially in the US. The amount of discrimination you'll face by that act alone (especially if her friends are Catholic) is mind boggling.
From the sound of it, you're still a child. That means that your parents can refuse to buy you things they don't like whether you agree with it or not.
You aren't going to convince her that its ok. Just stop bugging her about it. Talk talking about it. Its no ones business but your own anyway.
2007-08-20 13:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not an atheist, but...
give her time. show that you are still a decent, responsible, respectful person.
if she's still buying your clothes, humor her - she means well. when you are independent, you can buy/wear what you want to.
re: skulls: you can (respectfully) remind her that everyone has skulls, including the living, including Christians, including Jesus himself (if he existed). Remind her you don'r believe in her devil, either... I'd wait a while to bring this us, and let her know you are just addressing the point; you're no longer er to buy those shoes.
2007-08-20 13:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by kent_shakespear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the skulls, tell her that they were an early Christian sign of mortality and many saints were buried with a skull and crossbones to mark their tombs (This is true).
Other than that continue to love and accept her for who she is, realizing that she may never accept your choice.
2007-08-20 13:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by Pirate AM™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she thinks stylized cartoon skulls are demonic, there's probably no helping her. Just intelligently rebel. Pay no mind to what she thinks of it. Ridicule Christianity when she brings it up, point out her logical fallacies, etc.
2007-08-20 13:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck! I'd just try to downplay it, honestly. You don't necessarily need to have her except it, just don't try to rub her face in it. If you show her that she can trust you, regardless of your belief, and that you are legitimate in lack of belief, rather than just trying to be contrary, then she'll eventually find no problem in it. Just don't fall into the rut of being confrontational with your atheism, or getting into fights over it. (I've already seen one family broken up that way) It needs time, and level-headness, but acceptance will come.
2007-08-20 13:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to deal with it until you are old enough to make your own decisions and buy what you want.
Tough I know, but they(your parents) sincerely want what's best for you, and probably totally believe you are going to hell for not following their religion/clothing choice.
Until then, entertain your brain, you can't beat it for entertainment!
They can't stop you reading, and experiencing the wonders of nature, and learning, and music, and art etc?
As soon as you are old enough you can choose your own clothes.
2007-08-20 13:12:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋