From the day my wife met my parents she thought my parents were rude to her and no matter what she did it was unappreciated. Her folks do well, so my parents never bothered to offer to help with anything. My mom said she'd throw my wife a baby shower but then asked her to pay for it. After baby was born, parents insisted on seeing baby every weekend and my wife said no and said they can come during the week. They never buy or do anything nice for the baby. Eventually I sent a letter to my parents explaining how we feel, they ignored it. My wife and mom got in a yelling match on the phone and my folks cancelled Mother's Day and ignored my wife on Father's Day and bad-mouthed by wife to other family members. It all blew up when emails were sent from wife, my sister and then me. My wife now wants nothing to do with my family and my family who I've never stood up to feel I just do what my wife says. My sister has always wanted a girl and is extremely jealous of my daughter. What do I do?
2007-08-20 05:55:18 · 10 answers · asked by Jim Beam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well when you get married you leave your family and stick to your wife. That what the Bible says, and it doesn't sound like your wife wanted this to happen. Sometimes people will never, ever get along no matter what. Do not force your wife to have anything to do with your family because you would not want her to do that to you if roles were reversed. And that would make her feel like their feelings matter more than hers. It's good that you have looked at things from her point of view and not written her off as a *****. I do not get along with most of my in-laws but I still have to see them and I hate it. We are just TOTALLY different people, I have never liked the type of people that my in-laws are and it is really hard for me. I don't want to turn my husband against them, he is a good man for forgiving them for all of the things they have done to him, but I still don't like them! Your marriage is the most important relationship you will ever have. You can still have a relationship with your family, but never force your wife to, she will resent you for it. But so far I think you have done the right thing and stuck by her. Good for you!
2007-08-20 06:08:14 · answer #1 · answered by Snow 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
try to stay away from the tension now it's not good for the baby. your parents should not be rude to your wife that is un-called for , you did tell them to stop and they didn't like that so things got out of hand and now it's just about a all out war. your first responsibility is to your wife and daughter,what you guys want goes and if those people cant follow your rules don't come around. look when you lived at home didn't you have to follow your parents rules? well now you are a grown man with a daughter of your own now they need to follow your rules. your new family comes first, if the others dont want to accept that then thats there problem. if the decide they do then respect has to be shown on both sides.
2007-08-20 06:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by sassy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your wife and your daughter are your family. Do what is right for them and you.
It was rude of your mom to offer to throw a baby shower then ask your wife to pay for it. If your mom didn't think she could afford to do it on her own, she shouldn't have offered in the first place.
2007-08-20 06:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Its time to stay away from her family and yours. Go to your parents house on your own and to her parents house with your wife and tell them your both tired of the feud. Either they accept each other that includes your wife without critisim, judgment, arguings etc. Tell your sister get over it she is her niece and should be be jealous of her. Either they argree or they can forget about both of you and your daughter being part of there life. You do not want to bring up your children in this enviroment.
2007-08-20 07:04:52 · answer #4 · answered by beliz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How did you get to the point of so much turmoil with your family as soon as you got married? Meaning your wife entered the family by marrying you and you both became one plus an extension of both your childhood families..and then a war started. Deal with this like a man and promote family is my advice.
2007-08-20 06:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first i would keep my distance for about a month or so just to let things cool down.you should stand up for your wife if she is right!the e-mails and the yelling matches should stop theres no reason for it.if i were you i would explain to your wife you will always love your parents and she should try to make it work for you.if you attend something with your family you don't have to stay long just to keep things OK between everyone
2007-08-20 06:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by Erica 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cut all communications with your family until they can grow up. Your wife and child need you the most and you need to put your foot down by telling them they are no longer welcomed in your house until they come back groveling on all fours for forgiveness.
2007-08-20 06:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs to gather her dignity, start acting like a grown UP woman, and stop the drama.
It doesn't matter what we do, we can't change others. Best to live and let live.
Your wife has just as much a hand in the chaos as your parents... the letter, the arguing...
You guys would probably do better letting it go, stop worrying about it and live your lives as you see best.
Perhaps in time this wil all blow over, if you stop feeding the fire...
2007-08-20 06:01:25 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 4⤊ 3⤋
you can't clap with one hand!!
There has to be a little fault from both sides, and you need to stop taking sides and see properly what is happening. You stay with your wife most so you always hear her side of the story, what about your parents side?
You need to know both well enough to make a judgement call.
2007-08-20 06:08:56 · answer #9 · answered by Slite 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Tell them all that you are all family and everyone is acting like immature babies and it is time to start being a family.
2007-08-20 06:12:59 · answer #10 · answered by daisy322_98 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋