i should rethink the wedding. things are'nt gonna change. his mother and sister are one in the same. weird, mean, selfish and weird! do i really want to deal with them forever?
2007-08-20 05:06:28 · 43 answers · asked by kiss e 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Who are you marrying? Him or his mother and siblings?
If you love your man, they will be in his/your lives forever. You have to accept it. Just like they will have to accept you.
But if you don't love your man enough to marry him because of his family, you'd better return the ring, dress, get your money back from the caterers, etc. -You don't need to get married.
You have to love your man more and not care about what his family thinks or expects. A marriage is about You and Him. Your devotion to each other. You two will no longer be two but will be as one. -Your flesh and his becomes whole.
Marriage is a sacred bond between two lovers taken in front of the Lord.
Like I said before, if you truly love him... Marry him.
If you don't, be honest and tell him. Let him go. Don't wait till it's too late.
-Good luck.
2007-08-27 05:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how much you are willing to go through to be with your bride-to-be. There are different ways to handle this problem. Tell her honestly how you feel. Determine a plan of sorts regarding how you will or will not interact with them. Perhaps if she wants to see them, she can go alone. Holidays are always hard to work out, no matter family dynamics. Marriage is, and will always will be hard work, in every area of your life. If you love her, the work is always worth it. In my 20/20 hindsight, I now know I should have stayed with the man I loved, he was a good man. I let other things take me away. Now he is dead, he loved me until the end. Due to the circumstances I have a huge ? about it. If I had trusted my love for him, there's a good possibility he would still be with me. Think, feel, and pray. Don't give up true love without a fight. I wish you the very best. btw now I'm 50 and all alone. I don't wish this on anyone. Although we did not marry, I feel like a widow. You don't know how many chances you have for love.
Blessed Be
2007-08-20 05:19:46 · answer #2 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that what truly matters in this case is if you love him. If you can't stand his family then make an attempt to until after the wedding and then maybe you and your husband can move FAR away from them and only see them on certain occasions. Pretend you like them when you do cause at the end of the day, you are marrying HIM and will be living with HIM. So forget about his family.
2007-08-26 05:05:12 · answer #3 · answered by n_garcia83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him then that should be what's important. You don't want to go into this and end up with family drama when you want him to choose between you and his family which is ultimately what will happen even if it's not blatant. Let him know how you feel and see if he's open to you and his family having a conversation about this. It may just be they have some odd tendencies. At this point a conversation couldn't hurt anything any more than it already is. Be an adult and confront this issue.
2007-08-20 05:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by That NC Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you ponder long and hard on the issue. I, too, was once lucky enough to have future out-laws I couldn't stand and who couldn't stand me. But over six months of bullying and incessant fighting and emotional abuse the kind which would be reported if the victim was a minor, they convinced my fiance that all their familial problems were somehow MY fault, so he broke it off. Now we're in the "still trying to be friends" stage, which kinda sucks, because I prefered the "in love and engaged to be married" stage more. I'm not saying that this will happen to you, but you have to realize that if you don't like them, they probably don't like you, and as his family, they probably feel a lot more free to run you down when you're not there than you might to say mean things about them when they aren't around. In any case, you might want to consider where you're going to live...you wouldn't want a Marie-type mother in-law like from Everybody Loves Raymond who lives really close and feels free to drop in whenever she feels like it. And don't fool yourself into thinking that your kids won't notice (when you have them) that their grandma hates their mommy and vice versa. That's bound to cause some tension.
2007-08-20 05:19:59 · answer #5 · answered by Amber L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realizing that they are not going to change is the first giant step in dealing with this situation, My son married The Queen of Mean who was raised in a dysfunctional family and she made his life unbearable for 7 years. He wanted nothing more than a loving married life and keeping his 2 little boys in a home with both parents. After tolerating her abuse for 7 years SHE WALKED OUT ON HIM WITH ANOTHER MAN. I would say, "get out now"; but if you love this guy and want to marry him - set the rules now concerning his family.
2007-08-27 04:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by nan4six 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a very difficult one. luckily for me we lived a long way from my in-laws, but even so it was such a strain when visiting, which is inevitable. Your soon to be husband will be torn between you both and can't please you both. I would not like to be you in this decision, can the love you have for each other ride out these difficulties in the future. what will happen if you have children, you will need to see them more often, with the consequence of their influence on the little ones. I would say 'no' to marriage because it is hard enough with a relationship with a husband without the pressure of the in-laws.
2007-08-20 05:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by cairn4lodge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are marrying their son or brother, not them, he will deal with them, if they are mean to you, then let him know and let him handle it, you will need to either have confidence in him or you will need to put off the wedding and make plans to see if this is a forever relationship, since that is what you do when you marrry, if not walk the other way and make some new choices until forever is ethched in your mind and the mother and the siste are not the focus he is
2007-08-25 15:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by Elizabeth D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! If you can't stand the soon to be in-laws then the marriage is doomed right from the start. If you go through with the wedding you are just inviting yourself to a world of misery and constant interference on their part. And in time if you marry him they will get himto turn against you ot do their very best to try to.
2007-08-20 05:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by Emily R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes I agree you are marrying him,not his family. Preparing for a wedding is a long arduous task that gets a lot of in laws up in arms. Now you know that you can catch more flies with sugar than vinegar, so aways be kind and tolerant even though it may be hard t first. I know you don't think so know,but you are taking her precious boy away. " a son is a son till he takes a wife,but a daughter is a daughter the rest of her life." o dig in for a bit of a rough road,but i am sure they will come around.No boyfriend's family is worth calling off your wedding for. .......You could always elope lol...............or marry and move thousands of miles away. Good Luck and tolerance is the key
2007-08-20 05:17:52 · answer #10 · answered by ogopogo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋