Does anyone have suggestions on how to help the family get through this horrible anger thats left? What is a healthy time line in grieving the ones gone? We lost them one right after another..the longest battle was three years and the shortest was eight months...it just did'nt seem like it would ever stop. Now the young ones are fearful when us adults leave them for any length of time or if we get sick...then they are sure its cancer. Maybe its time to agree that counseling would be best for our situation? How can I help them believe we still have a loving God? Thanks so much...I know I asked alot here but sure could use some advice.
2007-08-20 04:29:08 · 6 answers · asked by aknana 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Sorry for the lack of details folks. The little ones were not so fearful of us leaving...I would say a normal reaction expected of a four and six year old but now its panic time. My sis (52)(breast c.) and bro(50) (lung c.)were living with us as my husband and I agreed to be their full time caregivers as they were both diagnosed terminal from the start.My two cousins were not quite as close but would visit frequently. The two oldest were very close to all of us ...always were. Watching all the spouses, kids, and friends reactions...I sometimes feel lost in what to say anymore because alot of the time...I feel the same way. Just mad although I know its no ones fault that they are gone. Helpless and frustrated as there is always someone having emotional crisis's. It seems so anyway.Thanks again
2007-08-20 14:34:39 · update #1
I really am thankful for the advice on genetic testing. Haven't even thought of that and thats been a real worry for my pregnant daughter. We have been good about doc appts and reg..check ups to screen ourselves but this is a positive action that can only bring peace of mind. Thank you...really appreciate this advice..
2007-08-20 18:01:52 · update #2
I am sorry. I dont know if the young ones were fearful when you left them before the deaths or not. It is actually common for young ones to fear when parents leave.
I hope your family can continue in good health. Depending on the type of Cancer it was, any of the younger generation in your family might want to get pre pregnancy genetic counseling so as not to continue the pain on future generations.
2007-08-20 07:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention the ages of those lost, if they were blood relations and if so, how close or the types of cancer involved.
Our family has had many deaths from cancer, some after a lonf fight, some quickly , from ages 20 to 89, from as close as my mother to my aunt by marriage.
We have also had some great fights and recoveries!
As a result, none of our family is scared by this disease, we have learnt that it can be beaten, or at least delayed, and accept that when it is our time to go, then we will go from whatever cause.
Seek family councelling for all of you.
2007-08-20 20:29:31 · answer #2 · answered by Tarkarri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cant put a specific time on mourning the loss of a loved one, when i was 12 my mother died, my father died when i was 15, my brother was in the air force and came in for our fathers funeral it was in june, he appeared fine , by october he died from lymphoma, between my mother and fathers death ilost my grandmother and an uncle, i am 43 now i can identify with what your children are going through, i still have anxiety when ever my husband leaves on a buisness trip that he might get killed in a car accident , or if hes late comeing home the first thought is always dread, i think that you should seek counseling for your children, that was something i never had, they need to feel secure, as far as still beliving in a loving God, that part is easy, If your children are old enough to understand that God loved us so much that he sent his only son, Jesus down to earth, and while he loved his son , Jesus suffered also, but because of his suffering and his death, jesus will always be with us and we need to turn to him when we are sad and lonely, and he will ease our pain, I would also tell them that God loves us so much that he gave us a beautiful sky with clouds and stars to look at and trees and flowers etc, to remind us that he created this all for us, and even though we cant physicaly see him, we can see his hand print that hes left behind for us,one last thing i would reasure them that you are going to the drs. regularly to make sure that you stay well. i hoped i helped!!
2007-08-20 12:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel and its so terrible for everyone involved,all my family have died of cancer,and two years ago my only brother died of throat cancer,then my lovely mum died of stomach cancer last oct,im living with skin cancer,and my sister has just gone through treatment for throat cancer,ive got grown up children and its been so hard on them,they keep thinking its all a dream,youve just got to be there for each other all the time thats all we do,god bless to you and your family x
2007-08-20 13:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
definitely counselling, especially for the younger ones, i also had lost a few members of my family quite recently.
Yes it is hard n time will heal the hurt.
2007-08-20 11:41:16 · answer #5 · answered by Duffsta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2007-08-20 12:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by Shopping's Corner 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋