My bf wants to have sex with me but I not sure if I shoud?

Question

im only 15 turning 16 !

Answer 1

I came here to ask almost the same question just for confirmation and I'm so glad to find your question and read all these answers! I'm 18 and still a virgin and my bf (20 also a virgin) really wants to have sex but I'm not sure, like you. I've told him 'no' and he's listened so far and seems to understand. I've almost felt guilty for 'teasing' him but i know that i would feel more guilt to myself if i did it just because he wanted to...ask yourself "if you really wanted to have sex would you be so unsure about it all?" that's what i did and i feel better for it, he respects me more for not just going along with it all and i trust him more for listening and understanding...good luck!

Answer 2

A simple rule of thumb in life is to follow your gut instinc. If it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. If you are not ready then don't do it.

Every body here will tell you about the consequences of sex so I won't bother to go over them and beat a dead horse. Note that these are possible consequences. It does not means it will happen. Ofcourse by that same token it does means it could happen because you are playing the game. What I mean is that if you play with fire there is a chance that you could get burn. Wil you get burned? Who knows but if you don't play with fire then you will definetly not get burn. So this leads us two the second rule of thumb.

Use the imaginary scale. Imagine an old fashion scale like the one that lady justice uses. You know you put weights on one end and some item in the other and according to the weight you determine the items value. Anyways, here is how you use the imaginary scale. You put the benefits of one action in one side of the scale and the consequences or bad things about that same option. Then you measure. If the bad things outweight the positive then you know it is definetly a bad idea or is not the best option. The opposite is abit more tricky. If the goods look better then it still doesn't mean that that is the best course of action. All it means is that that option is a viable one. That is you did not automatically eliminate that option but you still need to do more comparisons with other options.

The two rule of thumbs can be use through out your life. Very usefull they are. I will give you a third rule of thumb albeit it doesn't relate to your problem just so you can have it.

#3 threat everybody with respect. Everybody should start off being respected and then they can either keep their status or lower their status by their own action. The point is to not threat people badly because in the future these people are the ones that might help you. Ofcourse if they do you wrong then you don't have to stand there and turn the other cheek. Let them screw up though.

Anyways back to your problem. Lets set up the scale so it can help you better decide.

What are benefits of sex in your situation.

#1 finally find out what is all about.
#2 Will make your boyfriend very happy.
#3 it feels good if done right which is very hard to do it wrong.
#4 it can develop a stronger bond between two people. Note how I said "it can" not that it will.

Ok, now the cons

#1 unwanted pregnacy.
#2 If pregnacy does occur will the boy support you?
#3 Is the relationship between you too base on sex or friendship? That is how does he sees you like as opposed to how you think things are.
#4 vanerial diseases. Ofcourse this assumes the boy has been around. AT sixteen I doubt it but who knows. People as not as honest as they claim to be.

So now you have your scale set up. Now meassure. Do you think you can handle being preganat and the consequences of that at this stage in your life? Do you think the boy will support you emotionally and economically if this does happens (pregnacy) and if so how? Does he wants sex because he wants to be with you or just for his selfish needs?

If you think you can handle all of the obove and you think it is worth the risk then go for it. Other wise don't.

Answer 3

Ok, you are a bit young to be considering this, however I do realize that this is the reality of people your age so I will not do the "mom" thing to you for it. Heres the deal, your a smart girl for asking advise on this instead of just jumping into something. I know your hormones are telling you "yes yes yes" but if anything in your mind is saying "no no no" then listen to that. If you have one little fiber of your body that tells you that what you are about to do is not right or that you are not ready for it, then you are not ready... simple as that. Your first time should be something special with someone very special that you intend to be with for very long time and love very deeply. From what you know of love now, you may think that this guy is it... but he may not be and you may not have developed a full understanding of love yet (Im 27 and I am still learning something new every day). If you are not ready, then hold on to the gift you have to give to someone special. If you do decide that this is something you want then the only thing I can tell you is to be careful, use protection and dont do anything you will regret. You are too young to get an STD or pregnant. Many girls your age think "it cant happen to me, I wont get that". The reason for this thinking is because when we are 16 well all think we are invincable. We arent, and your life can change drasticly with one little thing like this. Im not saying yes or no to this question, Im saying think long and hard on it, and make the decision that you know is right for you, your body and your life. Good luck.

Answer 4

Nope, don't do it. You are too young (and we know that if you are 15, the next age you will reach is 16).

Sex not occur before:
1. You are ready to deal with a pregnancy, should it occur
2. You are ready to deal with an STD, should it occur
3. When you know how a woman can become pregnant (all the ways it can occur)
4. When you know what the various STDs are and how they are transmitted and how to help protect against them
5. When you are ready to insist your partner wear a condom (female) or insist that you wear one (male)
6. When you are on a reliable form of birth control and using it properly (female) or ensure that she is (male)
7. When you are ready to deal with any emotional issues that may come from being intimate with another person.

Until you've got those things covered, you should not have sex.

Answer 5

Do not have sex with him just because he wants to. If you get pregnant your whole life will change forever. Not to mention the fact that he would be charged with rape. His life will change forever. You are only 15. Enjoy life. He probably wants to tap every girl he can. Don't make the same mistake I did. The guy totally ignored me afterwards. Found out he was seeing this other girl. If you are not sure about having sex at your age then it is not the right time. Make sure it is for all the right reasons and not the wrong reasons. Don't screw up your life. Please. Listen to someone who has been there.

Answer 6

Oh Jesus hon if your even doubting it then DONT! Believe me he's not the first or the last that will want to have sex with you. It doesnt matter how old he is or how old you are. If your not ready or wanting to be responsible for what can happen if you have sex (pregnancy) then DONT DO IT. If he uses the line "if you loved me" then guess what he doesnt love and respect you. NO MAN will EVER pressure you into having sex. My nephew had sex at 14 at 15 he became a father (supposedly she wont submit to a DNA). When your ready you'll know and you wont second guess it, here your second guessing it...Your not ready.

Answer 7

i have got one word for you DONT there is one thing a girl has that she can keep forever if she wants to i didnt realize that untill after it was gone it is your virginity it really sucks now because i cant get it back my advice is wait until you are sure and i mean SURE that you are ready dont give into pressures of your bf im 15 to and i lost mine when i was 12 im not saying it was the biggest mistake but i have almost gotten pregnant 4 times and have gotten pregnant 1 time but i had a miscarrage and to go through that is not fun do it not for me but for you just wait if you do decide to have sex though use protection a condom and or birth control

Answer 8

Before you make a mistake ask yourself do you really want to do it? If he loves you he will wait!, of not leave him you r too young to be having sex, event though everyone is having sex at age 14 now, but if you r uncomfortable wait for the right guy, you have your whole life ahead of you, and there are so many guys out there. You can only be a virgin once.

Answer 9

No...you're too young. Make him wait. If you're still together a year down the road...then go for it. 15 is awfully young to start having sex. You need to think about the consequences...a baby, a disease, him leaving you after and breaking your heart. If there's even a doubt in your mind that you're not ready...don't do it. You want your first time to be perfect. If you tell him no and he doesn't understand and respect your decision...he doesn't deserve you to begin with!! Good luck!

Answer 10

if ure not sure then DONT. its not something u want to regret, and its also not something u can get back. being a virgin is so much more than someone who hasnt had sex. its a person u is waiting to experience everything that comes with sex when she/he is ready, and with the person that they want to remember as being their first- and possibly their only.

keep it in ure pants.. and dont let people take advantage of u. u are young! so so young for this. If he doesnt understand, then he is a complete jerk and doesnt deserve u at all.