what is going on with my friends?

Question

i fell out with a guy friend because he has a tendency to make disrespectful remarks about my appearance. in the past, he has apologized but two months ago was the last straw and i distanced myself from him for a while. a few times he called me but i didn't pick up the phone. after a few days, i cooled off & decided to call him and explain to him that the statements he makes really hurt me. whenever i would call his phone no one would answer, and i found that odd considering he lives in a house with 8 other people and usually somebody answers the phone.

the two of us share a mutual friend. i told her the situation and she never gave me any real insight..the only thing she would say was that i shouldn't get mad over something so 'petty' which alarmed because he said some really nasty things to me. anyway, whenever me and her would get on the phone she would tell me that he called her, or that she called him and they spoke. it became very clear to me that he was avoiding my phone calls. sometimes i would call the day that she spoke to him and no one would answer. so after a few tries i completely gave up.

i asked my friend to tell him to call me because i'd like to speak to him about the situation. she would say all right. only to have her call me the next day 'teasing' me about how she spoke to him and that she completely forgot to tell him to call me. there has many occassions where she has told me she spoke to him only to have a bunch of excuses pouring out as to why she can't get him to call me. one of them being was that his phone is not working and that he calls her from different cell phone numbers that are not his, and he's not easy to reach. another one is that when they talk it's usually very brief and she is busy doing something else so has no time to 'talk about me to him'.

i spoke to someone else who knows this guy, and this person told me that he has been calling her from the same phone as he usually does.

so i often wonder, if my so called friend is lying to me about something..I'd really wish she'd be honest with me and let me know the REAL reason why he won't speak to me. I'd be fine as long as I KNOW why he is avoiding me. But it appears to me that she is being conniving and I'm wondering if there is some backstabbing going on that involves her.

Also, she is lying about how the two of them don't talk about me to each other. I know they do. Not to long ago, my friend wanted me to attend her sister's bday party, but when the day came I couldn't go because my mother was sick in the hospital that morning. I called her and let her know why I couldn't make it. Several hours later, the guy friend (the one who doesn't speak to me) called MY MOTHER, asking her if she is fine on her cell phone.(my mother told me about this) Now why did she have HIM call my mother? Why couldn't she have called herself to see if she is fine? She never mentioned this situation to me, and i kept quiet about it to see if she would at least bring it up . She never did. I think something shady is going on..

what do you guys think?

i have been so depressed about this situation. i have been crying my eyes out because i can't stand the fact that the both of them have been saying nasty things about me. i don't know how to recover from this.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like your a stalker freak and you should be put in a hospital. Leave him alone because he obviously doesn't want to talk to you.

Answer 2

IMO, when you have a situation where you have to question loyalties, you need to let it go. If she was truly a friend to you, when the stuff went down between you and him she would have kept a neutral stance, and said that you both should work it out amongst yourselves. I personally say wrong is wrong no matter who you are, and all of my friends know, if it's wrong, I'm going to let you have it.

I truly don't think you ought to worry yourself with people who seem not to care about your feelings. And to be honest, I would say that they've probably been acting shady for a while and you know what you need to do.

Answer 3

I'm not a guy, but you need to ditch your back-stabbing friend--she's lying to you and probably laughing behind your back with this guy friend you dont need. Slowly distance yourself from him and her----this will never be any good for you and if you have a friend who brings you down--you sure dont need that. And "petty" when another person puts you down and makes nasty remarks? No, thats not petty, its a good reason to be open to new friendships.

Answer 4

You think something shady is going on? I've been in sewers that smelled better. He apparently decided on a little payback for your not answering his calls and your so called friend is helping him. Considering his passed history and now her complicity in his behavior, I would say you are best shed of both of them. Stop talking to either one and find some new friends.

Answer 5

Lose them. T'hey're not true friends. Real friends don't say disparaging remarks that hurt, especially if you have told them so. And this girl that lies . . . I mean, why would you bother? Don't even spend another second thinking about them. They're not worth it and you could spend the time more wisely making true friends.

Good luck.

Answer 6

LOL, do you really think people are going to read all that? Holy Banannas!!! You see, you are making the mistake of delving into every little detail, making judgements and wondering on every bit of information that comes your way, OMG what phone number is he calling from, for example, lol. Forget about the guy, who cares?

Answer 7

I definetly think they are backstabbing you. I'm not trying to hurt you, but i'm trying to help you see the situation. I've been backstabbed before and it isn't a pretty situation. It's hard to cope with and definetly difficult. Get out of these friendships. That guy probably talk smack about you to your friends and they agree. Please find new friends before you get hurt.

Answer 8

I think you should drop both of them. They are not really your friends if they treat you this way, and you are right to not need a "friend" who makes rude remarks about your appearance that upset you.

Answer 9

I think , that u need to drop the BOTH of them. Obviously them two like each other and she likes the fact that she can hold over your head that him and her are close now.

Answer 10

It sounds like your two friends have a thing going on and she's listening to his side of the story and downplaying yours. I suggest you lose them both if they are going to treat you so disrespectfully. True friends don't say things like that to each other.