I think with all of the money people spend on finding the place, paying for the food, the dress(es), the limo, hair, make-up, etc.
it's sort of unnecessary to have all of these crazy add-ons that people insist are necessary:
"Goodie bags" for out of town guests...
Gifts for EVERY person in the wedding
Exhorbinantly expensive favors
Personalized stamps
The list goes on....
I know it's your special day...but that's the point, it's yours and most people aren't going to notice a lot of what you're slaving over...
...maybe I'm just tired of hearing about it from my own bridezilla....but anyone else agree? Are all of these add-ons really necessary?? We get into fights over this stuff and lose sight of the whole concept of what 'marriage' is.
2007-08-20 03:20:00 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
They sure are! I am a Chaplain and Wedding Officiate, I get to see a large number of couples. Gosh, I only deal with the ceremony, which to me is the ONLY reason to have a wedding. The rest is a PARTY! My own neice had a wedding price tage of over 50,000. The ceremony lasts only a few minutes, 20 seems to be the usual. I will refuse to preform the ceremony if it appears that the ceremony is the ONLY way to have the reception. I would love to see the table change, let's make the ceremony the MAIN POINT, gesh.....think that will ever happen?
2007-08-20 14:24:22 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that somehow it has gotten out of hand... in my country the wedding lasts 24 hours continuously, eating, no sleeping, just dancing like crazy and so on... and here also brides make all the big fuss on those small but stupid things like good brand for a wedding dress which could cost about 4000 5000 euros or so on...i think that as long as u spend ur money on what u like and stop thinking about what others have to say about it, then it is ok...and also , as a tragic view, i know a couple who had a really big expensive wedding, paying more than 60 000 dollars, and after 5 divorced... so u spend all that money on a useless day in the end (for my friend's case)...
2007-08-20 05:59:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kinda agree to what you have to say. I feel that a person's wedding day is very special, and in today's context, instead of paying attention to the real essence of a wedding, people are busy calling up florists, purchasing gifts, going for fittings for THE day and reserving hotels for receptions. The reason is very simple. People today are enjoying a better lifestyle, and they want to make their wedding seem BIG. The entire concept of a wedding has changed. It's totally commercialised. Not that it's a real bad thing, but I feel it should be more personal. A simple affair, with a close few relatives, friends, at a simple locale, with no big-shot decor, and the only things that should flow freely should be warmth, love, and yeah maybe a little champagne!! That's about it...
2007-08-20 03:35:15 · answer #3 · answered by Vishal K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's supposed to be about couple but because you have guests, you also have to accommodate them. The trick is to find the balance between the two. To make it about the couple without stepping on the guests' toes and also take care of the guests' needs without forgetting the couple. What actually happens is a totally different story though. Most people take either extreme. We say "it's all about you (the couple) so do whatever you want!" That's fine, as long as it doesn't directly offend the people you're inviting. Example: having unusual wedding colors. Or the other extreme is spending more than you can afford to have the "best" whatever because your guests expect it, even if it isn't something that you really want (or need) to have. The entire wedding industry just adds fuel to the fire. Couples need to focus on what's truly important and find the perfect balance between focusing on the real purpose of the wedding and caring for your guests.
2016-04-01 08:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am getting married next year and I am not doing that extra stuff, I am not having a guest book signer because it will be a guest list of 50 people and more then half is my family. I am not even having a bridal shower because we are not kitcheny people and we just moved into a house and we have everything that we need for it, I am just wanting to be with my friends for a bachlorette party and I am not doing any favors or any of that extra stuff. So no it is not necessary BUT if the bride is happy about it and wants to do it then just support her this is only one day for her....
2007-08-20 04:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by spagirl23188 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i most definitly agree! even if people have the money, why spend it all on a wedding? i'm getting married next year and of course we're going to have a beautiful wedding. our budget is $10,000 at the very most and includes everything including a beautiful venue and 4 course dinner. we are budgeting in every way possible and still without having it look cheap. the problem is some people believe everything wedding related needs to come from a wedding store or your pictures need to be done by a top notch guy and the dress must be purchased at a fancy store. NOT TRUE. i bet if people did a little extra research on cheaper things/ideas and still find what they want, they'd cut their budget in half.
plus, just last week i found 50 packs of beautiful and professional looking invitations from walmart on clearance for $4.50 each! all because i searched for them.
2007-08-20 09:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by Cristina C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO brides and families are allowing themselves to be guided by "The Wedding Industry" instead of traditional etiquette. This is a mistake, as "TWI" has no real interest in your wedding other than as opportunity to sell you stuff. My advice is to rely on Miss Manners, Emily Post or some other reputable guide having NO connection with The Wedding Industry, and thus avoid getting forking over your precious wedding dollars for some frivolous frippery that no one had even heard of prior to 1970. Etched toast glasses, dedicated silver cake knives, and "favors" may be nice extras, but they are hardly traditional nor are they necessary.
Your letter suggests that your own "bridezilla" is using her attendants as "cash cows" with a view of having a wedding that is beyond her own financial means. I urge bridesmaids everywhere to refuse to allow themselves to be "milked" in this manner.
The bridal party should jointly inform the bride (or host) that you are all "tapped out" and can not meet any further financial or logistical (time & effort) burdens. Then stick to it. You might want to be prepared with "ammunition" in the form of the books of Miss Manners, Emily Post, etc., from your local library. These experts, and not "Modern Bride Magazine" should guide expenditures.
2007-08-20 04:05:35 · answer #7 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definitely think weddings are getting out of hand. I swear if people put as much effort into the weddings as their marriages maybe they would last. People have forgotten what weddings and marriage is all about.
For those of you beginning to plan a wedding, I suggest making it truly about the love you and your spouse share, not the glamour and glitz which others have made weddings about. One day which is over before you know it isn't worth going into debt over and inviting everyone you've ever met is ridiculous.
2007-08-20 04:44:21 · answer #8 · answered by SpaceyLacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't necessary to get all these extras. Only get them all if you have plenty of money to spend, and the bride really wants them.
A wedding can be pared down if funds are limited. The church, the dress, the cake, the flowers, some pictures. Anything beyond that is just an extra. Nice, but not needed.
2007-08-20 03:48:08 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think they aren't as simple as when our parents were married back 30-40+ years ago.
i think now adays we are trying to keep up with the jones' and what celebrities do we emulate.
we speaking generaly, not as a rule.
i plan to have a very simple wedding with a great reception to follow.
no extra anythings, well favors but that's as far as that goes.
i did attend a wedding where the out of towners got goodie bags. but this wedding was no expense spared for 2 huge local families that were getting married. the cakes cost 8k and the liq bill was 32k! can't recall how much the food was.
and that was in a lil town in ne tennessee!!
2007-08-20 03:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by nataliexoxo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋