What should you do if you found out one of your parents cheated on the other?

Question

My parents seperated about a year ago and i never understood why. They never seemed unhappy to me. But one day I was with my mom and I heard her on her phone talking to someone saying how much she loved him and that he was the reason she left her husband. I was devastated. Should I confront her and should I ever tell me dad?

Answer 1

Accept it and move on from that. So many times a separation/divorce causes the children to feel they are the reason for it. Just be glad you know the real reason and leave it at that. ;-)

Answer 2

1- your dad probably already know and has done his own cheating also
2- their was probably other problem you were not awar of that make your mom cheat and her decide to leave
3- just because you think they were happy that does not meant they were
4- their are many aspect in a marriage that only thet persons participating knows about, you are their child and they want you to be happy I am sure they never sit you down and tell you everything about their relationship
5- as much as it might hurt, you just have to grow up and try to understand their situation and when you figure it out you can sit and ask your mom about the dovorce you can even tell her that you know she cheated on your dad
but do not ask her in anger as her with kindness and let her answer you tell her how much you love her and you hope that she will found waht was lacking between her & your dad
as for you telling your father
WHy? what would it change if he did not know it will only hurt him so in for this part keep your mouth shut
Take care

Answer 3

First of all, remember that you heard only one side of this conversation. You could have misunderstood.

Second, you must remember that this is a private problem that is between your parents. If either had wanted you to know about this very private matter, they would have told you. Åt most you could ask your mom about the conversation. She might tell you about it, but she might tell you that she doesn't want to talk about it. That's her right.

I know this is very hard on you. Parents are not perfect and they make mistakes, sometimes huge ones. If you can, just try to spend lots of time with each of your parents doing things that you enjoy. They're still the same people. They're just not together.

Answer 4

That is grown people's business and no matter what age you are that should be left between your parents to figure out where they want their relationship to be. What use will it be to confront your mom and tell your dad now? Hopefully your mom will recognise her mistake sooner or later and look on the bright side, your dad is a bit lucky he got out now and not later. The best thing you can do for you and your family now, is live your life by example. Best of luck!

Answer 5

No

Your parents marriage/separation/divorce has nothing to do with you and here is why:

1. You will cause yourself grief if you entrench the separate subjects of marriage and family. Your relationship to your parent is son or daughter. You will always be a son or daughter to your parents and they will always be your parents. Pardon my confusion I'm not clear on that fact of daughter/son because you didn't note but it really doesn't matter...that's why I included both.

2. Marital status is not the choice for anyone to make except for the couple. On the flip side either is divorce...that is still only up to the couple and to try and judge whether there is truly a valid reason for either or not is to intrude and assume. It is no excuse for you to break your bond or disrespect your parents given the fact that you are not married to your mother and father. You can't control these things but on the flip side it shrinks your stress if you sort it out appropriately and you can choose not to apply these things to your future at least on your part. There is no need to tie yourself up in a tizzy ...let your parents handle their business and you just take care of your relationship with your mother and father which is obviously a part of living your life and always will be.

Answer 6

Depending on how old you are and how close you are with your mom, you should talk to her about it. There is always two sides to the story. Broken marriages don't occur simply because there is someone else; there has to be an underlying problem in the relationship first. I would never tell your father, it serves no purpose and will only hurt him more than he already is. Give your mom the chance to explain it to you. I'm sure, if you handle it maturely, she will take the time to talk with you about it.

Answer 7

Find a time to sit down with your mother and let her know that you accidentally overheard her on the phone discussing why she broke up with your dad. She really does not need to explain to you the reasons, they are really between her and your dad, but see what she has to say.

Answer 8

Don't tell your dad. It's none of your (or of your dad's) business what your mom does or doesn't do...stay out of it. Do talk to her though just to tell her what you think of her behavior,but also listen to her....if you think you can't talk to your mom while maintaining respect for her..then avoid confrontations...that would make matters much worse...

Answer 9

Talk ro your mom about what you overheard. She is the only one you should ley know at this stage. She my have other very reasonable answers about the split up. Tell her for your own sanity that she needs to be completly honest with you.

Answer 10

Decided if you would want the news to come from you, or someone else. In some cases it might make your dad happier to think that you don't know. In others, he might want to hear it from you, rather than a friend or other family member. Depends on how close you two are.