A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for one whole month."
The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushers them into his office, the wife is crying, and the husband is obviously very depressed.
"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.
"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened.
"Well, the first week was difficult. However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower . The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain . However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts. One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it . When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.
"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Bunnings either"
2007-08-20 03:01:29 · 21 answers · asked by Jim Jnr M 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
DIY? no with the wife!
2007-08-20 05:18:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Haha
Heres 1 for you...
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline:
"PREACHER'S *** SHOWS!"
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read:
"PREACHER'S *** OUT IN FRONT"
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read:
"BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ***"
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read:
"NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN"
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the headline read:
"NUN SELLS *** FOR $10.00"
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read:
"NUN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD AND FREE"
xx
2007-08-20 03:11:14 · answer #2 · answered by x--Z--x 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
is Bunnings the US equivalent of Woolworths/Wilkinsons/B&Q/
Homebase?
we don't have Bunnings in the UK.
but anyway hahahaha.
2007-08-20 03:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This wasn't bad. I did not see that coming. Here is a star.
2007-08-20 03:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by popkwiz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one jim
stars
2007-08-20 03:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by Queen Latifah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha. I just did a bit of wee!
2007-08-20 03:08:41 · answer #6 · answered by Michael N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha Ha. Good one.
2007-08-20 03:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol thats funny thanx you made my day a bit brighter
2007-08-20 03:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by nay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
2007-08-20 03:06:37 · answer #9 · answered by c_o_ldbr_ai_n 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hehehe lmao 10/10
star for you , keep them coming
2007-08-20 03:31:41 · answer #10 · answered by Deedee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋