My three and a half y/o daughter has become quite attached to my boyfriend, we are all very close to one another. She actually has a more loving nuturing relationship with him then her father. However as previously mentioned we are only dating, marrige has been discussed and we both would like to once we have more stability together. Lately my daughter has "slipped" a couple times per day and called him daddy, neither of us have said anything to her as of yet....how should I handle talking to her about this? He loves that she calls him daddy, but I don't think it is right if we aren't married and she still she's her dad occasionally? Am I wrong in this thought? She we talk to her about it at all??
Thanks.
2007-08-20 02:57:52 · 8 answers · asked by adriannalee1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When you notice her doing this, tell her no, this is so n so, or have him ignore her untill she says his real name, or a nicname she might have for him... This might not be such a big thing now, but it could escalade, or just go away, but you need to addresses it either way, just dont make such a big deal out of it....
My stepdaughter is three and has a habit of calling me momma, and she knows my real name as it is, But when she was just a year old, she started, and she got corrected, for two days she litterally would not talk to me, she would wave, smile, show me her toys and share with me as children do, but she wouldn't say words, well she then looked at me and said nahnah, I said huh, and laughed, but for two years now that has been her name for me, she gets defensive if people call me by my given name to her. She has amother that is in her life, and other siblings that know my name, but she and i are just very close, and I happen to spend more time with her and do more things with her than her given mom, this is how that bond formed, because if she was with me and sick, i wouldnt just leave her with any one, me and her dad would "make things better" and if i had t owork and she was really sick, id call in, that way we could pull double shift, because she had a bad habit of spiking fevers and not drinking...Her mother on the other hand, doesnt do this, she favors the younger child and likes to have "adult time" out....Kids will pick up on things, She knows who i am, but she has her own way of doing things...I ignore her, or correct her, because she does have a mother, now when she is older say 5 and she still does this, then that is on her,
But in all cases, it is not what you or your man, or your ex and his woman, how ever it goes, to decide if things are ok, expecially if the other parent is active in the lives at all, even just a little, HOw would you feel if your daughter called your exs wife momma.?? i know it would hurt me, expecially if i was active in the life, now if he is a dead beat, then i wouldnt worry to much as long as the man is goin to stick around....
2007-08-20 06:51:28 · answer #1 · answered by Just Wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not "wrong" in your way of thinking. It's just the way you feel about the situation. And there's no right or wrong about that.
Not sure though that a three and a half year old would really understand why she shouldn't call your boyfriend "daddy."
I think it's lovely that you're all so close and that she's comfortable enough to call him daddy. The fact that he's also okay with it would suggest there is no reason to confuse your daughter.
2007-08-20 10:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by Brain Tickler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not pay alot of attention to it. She is only 3 1/2? She does not know the difference yet. Let it go. Do not encourage it, yet do not over correct it.
You could say something like "no sweety this is so and so, not Daddy" and leave it at that.
If she already has a Dad she sees and is involved in her life, then I feel that would be the best approach.
Good luck!
2007-08-20 10:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be just a slip. I remember calling a teacher Mommy a couple times in grade 1 or 2. It just slipped.
Don't make a big deal about it unless she starts to call him that regularly. I like the nickname idea someone mentioned. I'll bet your boyfriend already has one for her. Make it fun and she'll probably chose on her own to refer to him by it, and it will be special between them.
Good Luck
2007-08-20 10:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by Choqs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider giving your boyfriend a nickname for her to call him. Also, if your child's father and your boyfriend have no problem with her calling your boyfriend dad, then let her do it.
2007-08-20 10:09:07 · answer #5 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
absolutely, you need to make it clear who her father is, so as she doesnt get confused at a later stage, need to keep things simple for the little ones, need to talk to her
2007-08-20 10:11:00 · answer #6 · answered by king of spain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain everything to her in a way she can understand.
2007-08-20 10:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by latina girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out where the relationship is going. so she does not get confused
2007-08-20 10:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by sl3style 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋