Me and my bf have been having probs for the past 3 weeks, and since then he told me that we might have to break up. He wants to break up because he said: 1. The relationship is keeping him from being focused at school (and I'm not being focused at work) 2. He just wants to be alone and take time off. But he still wants to be friends after that and come visit if i get my own apt. My question is, he was supposed to tell me thursday what his answer was gonna be (break up or not) then he put it off until Sunday night and still didn't give me an asnwer. We were cool all this weeked, he gave me hugs and kisses, asked how work was, we went to the beach together, and I brought up the question yesterday but he said he still didn't know and would give me an answer later last night, but never did. My question is, that im TIRED being in the dark, sitting here wondering what the answer is gonna be. Should I just break up? Someone told me that "if he doesn't know, the answer is NO." Should I?
2007-08-20 02:53:20 · 17 answers · asked by MedTq367 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just want some second opinions about my relationship. I talked to someone, he says that maybe my bf doesn't know how to appreciate someone like me (even though i can be the mean one at times), and is immature (he's 23) and he says its crazy for my guy to say things like "Oh I wish i could see you get it on with other girls" That is such a turn-off to me. Am I just settling for this guy? And I dating a loser? We have been together for 1 year and 3 months. He just got out the navy, is in school trying to study Nursing, I already got my degree though, but he's just starting since he was in the navy. Do I deserve someone else better and more understanding? I just want him to give me a direct answer, you either WANT me or not. If you don't know, the asnwer is no (thats how I see it at least.. or maybe he really doesn't even know). Help? Opinions? Advice? thanks
2007-08-20 02:57:12 · update #1
Sorry for the long question, just to jump to the point, Should I just go ahead and break up with my bf?? He keeps saying he doesn't know if he wants to or not and is leaving here out on a string, wondering all week about what the conclusion is gonna be, and Im not being focused at work, suffering...etc. Should I just end it FOR him?? (thats the question right here).
2007-08-20 02:59:41 · update #2
Well we've been doing good this weekend, almost liek a real couple, so good that it made me think we might actually work out, but then again he STILL doesn't know.
2007-08-20 03:01:54 · update #3
I dont think he wants to break up so he can study. I met him my last year in college, and I made it out just fine and passed all my classes and graduated.
He could be just keeping he on the side until he finds someone (thats my suspicion) but I can and will definitely do the same thing. If I meet someone better I will definitely leave him too. Its basically kind of my fault that we were breaking up, I threw a temper and him and we got in a fight. And we went out together to go salsa dancing but i like showed no interest in dancing that night, because we got there late, there was too many people on the dance floor, other guys were looking at me, we barely danced (i was kinda upset cuz we didnt dance and practice everything from the salsa class) so that killed it too. And he's the used-to-be jealous type with the "guy ego" if u know what i mean.
2007-08-20 03:12:10 · update #4
He (in my opinion) just wants to come over after its over just for sex. And I am NOT letting him do that. Once its over its over. No more kissing no hugginr or sex, and no more calling me unless you or I need help since neither of us know anybody in this city. There will be absolutely no friends with benefits after its over. And i have made my decision, I'm going to break up with him, FOR him. I don't need this, I dont need to be sitting here wondering all day, all week about whats gonna happen. U either want me or not, there ain't no, "I dont know" to you. Either u do or you don't.
I'm going to finish it and look for my own apt. I wouldn't mind having my own space afterall. Well good luck i will pick a best answer and let u all know how it went.
2007-08-20 03:52:07 · update #5
Judging by the length of your question, you've been debating this issue a lot. It looks like your relationship is based on whether or not it is over. In my opinion, END IT. By letting him decide if he wants to continue dating you or not.... no.... just no. You're better off without the stress of a volatile relationship.
Even if you come to terms at this juncture, this type of situation is likely to recur a few months down the road. Has your relationship been at this point before?
Cut the string and sever all ties. It would be better not to become friends after the relationship. That is typically just weird. And why does he want to come over to your apartment after you're not together? He's likely thinking that he wants all the benefits of a relationship, but none of the responsibility.
Ultimately, this is your decision, but I suggest taking control of the situation. Either break up with him or don't let him delay any longer. Either way, your relationship is in a holding pattern until this obstacle is overcome. Either land or take off.
2007-08-20 03:13:33 · answer #1 · answered by bx01z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is unsure if he really wants to break up with you. But first ask yourself, Do I want to be in this relationship? Dont let him have complete say whether you are in this relationship or not. Are you happy being with him? Maybe you do need to take some time apart. Maybe you can work out a schedule where you see eachother but dont interfere with work or school. You really need to sit down and consider what is going on here and once you have all your thoughts collected you need to sit down with him and really talk it out. Dont make a decision right away. You need to really think about what you are doing and what would make the both of you the happiest. Maybe being friends for awhile until you both have your lives straightened out is the best thing but this decision needs to be made by the both of you sooner rather than later.
2007-08-20 03:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's holding on until he finds someone better. Then he'll drop you like a hot potato. He's not a loser because he likes a different kind of sex than you do. You're probably just too young to understand those kinds of things right now. He's been in the Navy, he's a man, you're a kid just out of school, never even been on your own. It's time to break up so the two of you can find people who have more in common with you to date.
2007-08-20 03:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one thing he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't and if he keeps putting it off then LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!!!
He was upset when he said "Maybe we should break up"
MAYBE!
not going to
not we should
Maybe That means he was thinking about it
Now it seems he is over the whole "Break up thing"
If you do want to talk about it
Just say baby
Let me know do you want to be with me
and tell him he does not have to answer yet he can wait
If you love him and he loves you he will answer right then and where
But if You Guys Are cool Now
LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's better that why cause he may think you don't want to be with him if you keep asking
2007-08-20 03:09:53 · answer #4 · answered by Neesh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
babygirl
this guy is running it on you. start showing intrest in another guy and you will find out how quick he will change his mind.
P.S. act like it dosent bother you not in the least.
and after it is all said and done dont go back with him.
and if you love the the guy dont give him anymore affection it just makes it harder at the end.
2007-08-20 03:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by guero75220 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just end it.
He's dragging it on for comfort or until he finds someone else.
My ex and I could have ended it the first few months we dated. It dragged out for 5 years because we didn't find anyone else.
Once she thought she found someone, she finally ended it.
You should end it and move on, instead of letting it drag on until he finds someone and ends it with you.
2007-08-20 03:00:33 · answer #6 · answered by timothy t 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Answer me this - What is a relationship and why do we get into them..........
Than ask yourself if you are getting what you want out of this. If you are than stay in, if not ask yourself why am I in this?
No one is better than the wrong one
2007-08-20 12:48:36 · answer #7 · answered by aqua_diente 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can do better. He may not be mature enough to give you or any woman the kind of relationship you deserve.
I would say break up with him. It will ultimately be better for both of you.
2007-08-20 03:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just ask him once and for all what he wants, if he still doesn't give you an answer then break up with him, it's not fair to keep you dangling on like that, he obviously still cares for you but it's not fair.
2007-08-20 02:59:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He'd rather study and doesn't want to go out with you. Which part are you confused about? Let him go.
2007-08-20 03:02:09 · answer #10 · answered by Chris B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋