Is it reasonable for me to be angry at my parents over this?

Question

My parents took a job in a different country. Without even consulting me, and when i did tell them what i thought, it didn't matter, cause we were already moving. I'm starting high school tomorrow, and in a new country, and i knwo absolutely no one there. My brother and cat and friends and all the people i care about most are back in my old country. I'm very angry at my parents for putting me through this kind of a situation, and im sared to death to start school tomorrow. Is this a reasonible thing to feel? I'm very sad and very angry. Help?!

Answer 1

My parents ordered me to go to the U.S. and never come back until I got a degree.

I moved here by myself even I didn't want to go. They've never come visiting me.

I'm scared of many things, people, school, culture, life style etc. From my culture that teaches me to trust my parents, no parents give bad thing to their kids.

Everytime I have problem here, they told me to be patient, I have to fight for the problem and be strong.

But when I cry and told them that I can't take it no more. They said, come back home. We're here for you.

Since then, I got a degree, but I've not gone back home yet. At least I know myself, how much I can take it, how to let it go, how to deal with something, someone or some situation that I've never met before. Moreover, I learn something new, know more people, learn more in life, and learn to handle thing better.

Don't angry!! Everything happens with reason

Answer 2

It's understandable why you're angry. And while I personally wouldn't have a problem with leaving my brother back in my old country :-), I'd have a difficult time leaving a beloved companion animal :-( .

Please understand, however, that parents have the right to pick up and move the family to another city, state, or country w/o consulting the kids. It's difficult on the kids, to be sure. But the parents decide what is economically best for the family, and sometimes that involves moving to another country.

You will need to mourn what you've left behind, and that will certainly involve being sad and angry. HOWEVER, the more you accept your situation and your parents' right to do this w/o consulting you the better. I also suggest making a list of any and all good things about this. Perhaps, for example, you'll get to learn a new language. And you will get to meet some great new people you never would have met otherwise. Also, I suggest doing your best to stay in touch with all the people you care about in your old country. This way you're not really "losing" them.

Answer 3

You don't say how old you are, but obviously you're young enough that you had to go. All you're seeing is what you've left behind, what you've had to do without. There may be financial issues you know nothing about. There are reasons they chose to make this move. So instead of wasting energy being angry (a non-productive emotion) and sad (understandable but also non-productive), why not start looking at the positives?

You have the opportunity many would love to have - time spent in another country. Meeting people totally different from you, sharing cultures. No one there knows you, so you get to start with a fresh slate and be the best person you can be. Make new friends - something to share with the friends back home. If you'd give up the bad attitude and start looking for the positives in this situation, life will be better for you and your parents. Life can be pretty good if you try. If you'd rather be miserable, you're only going to make everyone else miserable as well as yourself. What's the point in that? Be the bigger person, explore your new world and make the best of it. Good luck!

Answer 4

Hi :)
First off, I know it must be sad that you moved and you're not near anything you know. I've moved a lot of times in my life, and that's why i sympathize for you. But to be honest, it gets better. The more you discover and the more people you meet, the happier you will be.
It is understandable to be angry at your parents. I was angry at mine everytime they decided to move, and they did it a lot. But sometimes they have to make difficult choices to make your life better, and although it seems like they're there to ruin your life, eventually you will forgive them.
Try focusing on some more positive things, new places to go, a new house to set up, there has to be some stuff you like more about your new city.
When you start school tomorrow, meeting new people, you'll feel more comfortable. Don't freak out if you don't feel accepted right away, it happens. When I moved I spent a short while being the new kid, but you'd be surprised how well and how quickly you and the people around you can adapt.
I wish you all the best in your new home :)

Answer 5

This is an opportunity that many will never get. to actually experience the culture of another country as a resident and not a tourist. Being angry at your parents isn't going to change or help your situation and they may not have had a lot of choice on whether this was a good move or not... sometimes you just got to do what you got to do.

So make the best of this opportunity and enjoy the excitement of it all. Fear is just your expectations holding you back! You have nothing to fear except letting this opportunity pass while you wallow in self pity.

Answer 6

This is very normal. You will feel angry and sad because you feel that your parents betrayed you in a way. But maybe its for the best. Don't jump to conclusions..I understand the feeling of moving somewhere...to a new school. It might be a good thing. So go tomorrow and see how it is. You might actually like it. I wish the best of luck to you and your family...and I'm sure after a while you will get adjusted to your new home and everything will be 'almost' normal. I hope so. Good luck.

Answer 7

I can understand being upset over not being told you were moving, but your parents do not really need to consult you when they make decisions about their careers. What they should have done was respect you enough to tell you what their plans were and allow you to adjust to the idea of moving. Being the absolutely new person in school is never fun, but go into the situation with your head held high and with kindess and friendliness. You will make friends soon.

Answer 8

We don't only learn what to do and how to do it from our parents. We also learn what NOT to do. Obviously you and your brothers have learned from them that yelling and being crazy angry really gets you no where. Congratulations, you're ahead of the curve on that. Took me 32 years to figure that one out. But, some people just figure it out early, for what ever reason. I hope you all stay that way. Life is so much more peaceful and less stressful that way.

Answer 9

Well, I think it's understandable how you feel. It's very scary to go to any new school even in a different town let alone a different country. Your parents should have prepared you for the move and kept you involved in the move. Now a day...thanks to MS Messanger and IM, you can keep in contact with friends. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Your feelings are perfectly valid and your parents should have talked with you about their plans but they remain the ultimate decision makers in the family as long as you are a child. Although they didn't handle the situation in a manner that might have made things easier and more acceptable to you, there's really nothing you can do about it except to tell them how much their lack of consideration for your concerns hurt you and is causing a great deal of distress. You can be honest but you must remember to approach the subject with respect and as calmly as you have the ability of doing at this point. I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and angry but you will meet new friends and you can keep in contact with your old pals via telephone, emails and even short visits at a later date. In the meanwhile, try to be patient with your parents and with yourself and don't allow any negative feelings to consume your thoughts and emotions.
I wish you lots of happiness in your new surroundings.