No Pain in Labor means No Love for Son/Daughter?

Question

My girlfriend, her mom, and I were debating whether this is true or not.

My girlfriend's mom said "Mothers these days don't care for their children much. They have no love for them. It's because there are so many painless births nowadays."

By painless births she was refering to the anaesthetic pregnancy shot given during labor. Her theory was that because labor nowadays are painless, there is less motherly love towards children ... which sounds ABSOLUELY illogical to me. My girlfriend sort of agrees with her mom. I don't agree with any of them. It's just illogical.

What do you think?

Answer 1

Sorry, that sounds like a complete farce to me!

Answer 2

I think that is the stupidest BULLS!#T I have ever heard! Seriously, what is wrong w/this lady? She must be mad that she didn't have a painless labor herself so now she wants to be vengeful and say that mom's who have no pain are less of mothers or whatever. What a Bit#h in my opinion! That's ridiculous!
When I was in labor I had lots of pain for about 15 hours and then I got my shot.. It was great from there. Then I had a emergency c-section. I was knocked out and felt nothing. So, does that mean b/c I didn't feel any pain I feel and care less for my daughter? That is ridiculous! This lady has lost her marbles! lol
I feel and know weather a Mother feels pain or no pain they love their children no matter what!
I love my daughter unconditionally pain or no pain!
It's a blessing either way.
I guess I'm just dumbfounded that a mother would say such a thing in the first place. But, hey not everyone has intelligence!

Answer 3

SO where does adoption fit in this genius' grand scheme? (Oh, my, is that sarcasm dripping off the screen? My apologies; I'll clean that up.)

There were attentive mothers and poor mothers long before there were pain medications. And by the way, a medicated birth does not necessarily mean a painless birth - some of the sensation is blocked, but it still feels like your hips are coming out of their sockets when the baby is crowning. Also, how dare she belittle the bonding during pregnancy, and belittle the pain AFTERWORDS. There are no epidurals at home when you have hemorrhoids and an episiotomy scar that is healing, plus you get a grand total of three hours of sleep the first week, then there's cracked nipples and mastitis, oh and lets not forget the post-delivery cramping that almost feels like labor all over again... A single shot does not a painless delivery make!

Oh, and let's not forget mothers who have to have a C-section - is she going to try to claim that NO c-section moms have real love for their children? What a moron.

Answer 4

That is totally and completley false. First of all, I don't know ANY woman who has gone through labor "pain free" and come out at the end thinking, "Wow, that was easy as pie!"...whether you get pain relief or not.

Secondly, I have had three children and had absolutley no pain relief with the first two and pain relief for the third. Let me tell you, in absolutely no way do I love my first two children more than my third child. That is totally rediculous. I love all my children the same! I loved them from the minute they were conceived. That love didn't change because of whether or not I used pain relief. Give me a break!

Your girlfriend's mother is rediculous to even be saying this. A woman should not feel guilty for using pain relief in labor. You cannot predict what labor is going to be like, even if you have had babies before. Some women would be in serious medical trouble WITHOUT pain relief! Why do you think so many women died "back in the day" during childbirth? We're lucky to live in a time where there is modern medicine and I say take advantage of it if you need it.

Now, I will say this though. It IS better for your baby if you stay away from any kind of anethesia during labor, I'm not denying that, which is why I worked hard to prepare myself for natural births the first two times. But I in no way felt guilty for using pain relief on my third baby. It's what I felt was right for me at the time and I love my child no less.

Is your girlfriend expecting? I really hope that her mother doesn't continue to poison her mind with such rediculous notions. Your girlfriend needs to research what would be best for her and make her own decisions. And lots of women go into labor thinking they'll do it without pain relief only to find that once labor gets going (and gets painful), they can't. It's ok! The goal of labor is a healthy mother and baby, regardless of what happens along the way. Good luck!

Answer 5

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard ! Very illogical... So, woman of the 50's generation that were "put under" to have their children also "don't love their children as much?" Or what about families that adopt children, they can't love them as much as someone that gave birth to their children? That's just absurd and totally ridiculous... I had an epidural which helps with delivery but, is hardly painless. There's still recovery ! I love my children with all my heart and soul.. Being a mother isn't ALL about childbirth it's about all the joys and pain of mothering.. Not just the act of childbirth.. Your gf needs to think on her own and not listen to foolishness. Good luck

Answer 6

I've had four kids. My youngest is nine. I never had a painless labour I didn't even know there was such a thing! I agree with someone else who answered. The father doesn't feel anything but they still can love and bond with their kids! I think she is wrong. I think she may be trying to make herself feel better about herself. I don't agree with this at all. I think there is always pain in labour I had an epidural and it wasn't as bad as having my three other kids naturally. But it still hurt. Not as bad but there was no painless birth! I don't get that.

Answer 7

That's among the top ten most ridiculous things I've heard! First off, from my own experience...
My first child I had no drugs, because of that I was unable to control my pushing and I hemorrhaged. I was out of it for 3 days and didn't get to bond with her much then. We are close now, but the pain itself is an anesthetic of sorts it can be so intense. With my second child I had an epidural and it has nothing to do with the love I have for my child. They are loved and cared for equally. Also, my epidural didn't make it not painful, but it took the edge off just enough that when my son was born I was awake enough to bond immediately, not passed out getting transfusions like with my first.

Pain management is a personal decision not based on how much you love your children. The labor and delivery is such a small portion of the sacrifices parents make for their children. That would mean that father's can't love their children since they never feel labor pain!

Answer 8

Ok your girlfriend's mother is an idiot. The anesthetic doesn't even work correctly. It's supposed to numb your lower back and your waist but your still in pain when you give birth because of the baby's head is larger then the rest of it's body and it has to squeeze out under the woman's pelvis and through the vagina. Also having an anesthetic does not make you love your child less. Once the child is born and the labor is done then the mother is happy to see her child.

Answer 9

I don't think women who get epidurals love their children any less than I, someone who believes in natural childbirth.

Epidurals could be used as a very handy tool to HELP women in labor... but unfortunately I believe they are over used by lazy women who ask for the shot as they walk in the front door. C'mon! Give labor a chance! It's not that hard. It's painful, but doable.

I think doctors love it when women get the epidural because then they are quiet for the birth. The doctor doesn't have to actually "be there" for the woman, just to catch the baby and make sure nothing goes wrong. I went to 2 different hospitals for 2 babies and I had 2 different midwives (plus my mother who is a midwife). My midwife (plus mom) were there the entire time. They labored with me. They rubbed my back, soothed my nerves, filled my tub.... Not, came in to check me at 9 cms and come back once I've started pushing.
I think if women went to midwives more, there would be less need for epidurals.
I have never heard a negative story about a midwife birth. The midwife knows her job is to empower the woman and help her realize she is ABLE to give birth and life to her child. She helps her to realize that drugs are optional, not a necessity for birthing.

Answer 10

That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

Ever heard of adoptive parents and thier kids???
They don't go through labor pains to have them, but they go through a lot and obviously love them to death.
And what about mothers who have c-sections? They are numb during the birth of the child, but have love for them.

I don't think the meds have anything to do with the loveless people in this world. It's more the decrease in morals and values.

Their thinking is illogical.

Answer 11

I don't agree. I had a painless birth, naturally, not with any drugs, and I love my daughter more than anything in the world! There are people who care more or care less, regardless of what type of labor and delivery they experienced. I'd say the two have absolutely no relation.