Oh, what to do...?

Question

Okay. I'll start off with I am 16 and a junior. I have been dating a guy for almost 5 months. And I am in love. *He is a senior this year at another school* He says that when I graduate he wants to get engaged. I would like to get in a few years of college at least before getting married. He doesn't plan on going to college, as he doesn't need to with the job he plans on doing. *Fire fighter* So my question is what do you think I should do? Is it dumb to make him wait a few years after becoming engaged? Am I just freaking out over nothing? Any suggestions would be great.

Answer 1

Glad to hear that you are thinking this over. First of all, he is older and from the sound of it, he's got his life plan all mapped out. Good for him. But, you are still very young and you don't know what you want to do yet. Absolutely normal. There is nothing wrong with waiting a few years before you decide what you want to do with your life or with him. As a matter of fact, I'll bet that you get a lot of similar answers.

You are doing the right thing by waiting. My goodness, you barely even have your license to drive. What makes him think that you are ready to make a decision about marriage and all that goes with it. Be young. Enjoy being young. Live your life. Don't think about such grown-up things yet. I am not saying that you should break up with him and find someone else, I am just saying that he needs to be patient. I hate to say it because its so cliche', but, if he loves you , he will understand and respect your decision.

Just my opinion. Good luck.

Answer 2

wow, are you sure about this? you're only 16 and you've got your whole life ahead of you. If you want to go to college and get an education, you should definately do it, he will understand if he loves you. But think this through carefully-do you want kids some day? If so, it may be hard to juggle everything. Firefighters often work really late and can be gone weeks at a time-on top of that, they're not paid very well. This means you might have to work, so college is definately a good option. But having kids when both of you are working is very difficult. I suggest just talking it out with him. You have to be sure about this. is he only focused on what he wants? then i don't know if this is really worth it. it's up to you though, just talk it through with him.
I wish you all the best! good luck :]

Answer 3

No, your decision is not dumb, it is very smart. If he loves you that much he will have to understand that you want to get a few things done before the engagement, like your college education. You are very young and there are probably a few things that you still would like to do (like traveling) before you get engaged. Take your time. And you know what they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" so you going away to college could be good for both of you.

Answer 4

There is absolutely nothing wrong wtih a long engagement. Do not start to give in to what others want at such a young age. Go to college, get your degree and then get married. Planning a wedding a going to school is not easy. And a good fiance will more then understand why you want to wait.

Answer 5

I think you're looking too far into the future. Think about this when the time comes - which is years from now. I'm sure if he loves you he will definately respect your decision to wait for a few years after getting engaged. It's not dumb. But like i said, i think you're looking a little too far ahead.

Answer 6

If he loves you, he'll wait till YOU are ready to get married. Also, things might change between you two with you going to college and him doing his thing. If you go to college away from home, is he gonna go with you? Maybe instead of getting engaged and married, you should take the next step of just moving in together to see how that works out.

Answer 7

First of all you are only 16, and dating for 5 months. Why are you jumping the gun?? you don't know what can happen in a month or two. Don't worry about that now. Let time take its place and time will tell if it is meant to be or not. don't worry about your future now . Enjoy every single day to the fullest and worry about the future of engagement when the time comes.

Answer 8

WAIT. Tell him you're not ready. There is no need to be in a rush to get married. Wait until you graduate from college... Then you can find a job, settle down, and have a family. While he works and you attend college, things may get hectic. You relationship may even deteriorate...

Don't be hasty, because marriage is a big decision.

Answer 9

First, you've only been dating him 5 months. It's far too early to know whether this is the guy you'll end up marrying. (And marry not just for love, but for compatibility.) Worrying about this so early on is "borrowing trouble."

Secondly, it is not only not dumb to wait until you've graduated from college and established in your before marrying but wise, prudent, and highly recommended! You can't count on a husband to support you. And even if you could, he could lose his job, leave, or die. Every woman needs a way of supporting herself! Establish that first and marriage second, so you don't get left w/o financial support or economically stuck in a bad marriage.

Book recommendation for figuring out if your partner is right for you long-term: Are You the One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis: http://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding/dp/0440215757

Answer 10

if your still in love after a few years until you graduate, then ya go for it get engaged. just cause your engaged dosent mean you have to get married as soon as possible, wait like yyou want to.