Is this normal and will it pass..?

Question

My 17 year will not let me hug her. She even has trouble with me sitting close to her. She even won't let me touch her.

Once she had a leaf on her and when I went to get it off her she jerked like I was going to hit her. I had to lean over her once to get something out of the back seat and she look like she was going to come out of her skin or puke cause I was so close..

I ask her why she is this way and of course I get the either 'no im not' or 'I dont' know'..

Why is she this way.? Please tell me it will pass. I really hate it.. She has never been molested or touched in any way or ever beat by me or her father..

She hasn't alway been this way, just about since she was 14 or 14.

I don't think I smell or anything like that and it is not like I want to hug her ever time she leaves the room but her getting discusted when I pick a leaf off her is just hurtfull..

It just with me.. she is fine with other people ..

Answer 1

This is just teenage behaviour it will pass soon.

Answer 2

Wow that is tough. As a mom of 10 I won't say that it is not normal but it is not something I have experienced. I have three teens 19,14 and 13 and another daughter who is 21 and wasn't like that during her teens either.
I mean there is a certain un cool element of being hugged and kissed by your parents-especially for boys but even my 14year old son lets me give a kiss every now and again-although I would not attempt it in public.
I can't explain why your daughter is behaving like this and I am not trying to alarm you but I think she probably needs to see a doctor and you can try and work out what it is she is afraid of.
Good Luck

Answer 3

Could be a number of things. She could be just in that stage where anything you do upsets her. I would read up on Sensory Integration or Dysfunctional Disorder. Some people literally can't stand to have things touch them and are often very sensitive to noises. This disorder can progress, but normally gets better with age. I'm currently dealing with sensory issues due to the myelin breaking down in my brain (possible MS). She may not have this disorder, but it may give you some good info on how to "handle" different situations with her.
Good Luck! Hopefully this will pass.

Answer 4

With something like this there could be many different explainations.

It could be a teenage phase, part of becoming independent.

It could be a result of other life trauma...but rather than get into a panic about that the solution is about communication.

As your children get older you have to be constantly changing the way you communicate, helping them on the way to being an adult.

Many cultures make this easier by having rites of passage. You can do something like this as well, watch what you say or how you act.

Maybe it is is simply a reaction to you not treating her like an adult.

Answer 5

if you suspect that this is not normal then why have you let it go on for 3yrs??? I would have had her checked out as soon as i noticed it. It sounds like she was abused whether by you, her father, another sibling or even a friend. I can't tell you that it will pass cause i don't know that it will but what i do know is that you should get your daughter into see a counsellor, someone she can confide in without you being there, maybe if she opens up a bit to a counsellor alone it can get to the root of the problem.

Answer 6

I am sorry about this, But no it is not normal. Some people have a fear of being touched, Is this something she does with everyone or just you, you don't say. If it is just you then you both need to go for counseling if she is this way with everyone then she needs help from counseling. Help her by getting her to the professional. Good luck.