My b-friend's ex has custody of their 10 yo girl. She works from 2-10 p.m. with 2 days off during the weekday & for the past 2 years has used this as an excuse during school time for not being able to get her up and ready for school so my b-friend and I have. The mother has to be responsible for her 1 day out of the week and usually don't send her to school this day or she is late. He pays $253 month child support and has her 90% of the time. She never attends ball games or conferences or does anything with her. She gets Thurs. and Fri. off work and is usually still in bed when she gets home from school and sleeps probably 16 hours a day, no lie. Now this year she is telling her daughter that she won't be coming to our house as much while school is in and in fact will be responsible for herself there and needs to set her own alarm, fix her own breakfast, and get to the bus stop by herself while the mother stays in bed. Would this alone be grounds to file for custody?
2007-08-20 00:40:03 · 23 answers · asked by AngieBaby 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
By the way, her father does work and still takes care of things and I work 2 jobs and do more for her than her mother does. Us living together without being married does not make us bad parents, sleeping for 16 hours a day when you have 2 children (one of her kids is 3) makes you a bad parent.
2007-08-20 00:48:31 · update #1
Even with our busy schedule and another child in the home we have attended every conference, every ball game, every little concert, etc. She has been to 1 ball game in 3 seasons and 1 conference since she started school.
2007-08-20 00:50:07 · update #2
We've been together 7 years. He works and I work 2 jobs. Neither of us have any jail records or any bad pasts. This mother also takes Lunesta sleeping pills to keep herself asleep this long. I'm not the girlfriend of the month, I'm practically her mother as her own mother is TOO lazy to be one.
2007-08-20 00:57:41 · update #3
Oh this is so my business as long as the mother keeps sending her to my house and I am helping take care of her so comments like it's none of my business are not necessary because she is my business. I am being there for her when her own mother is not, physically, emotionally, etc.
2007-08-20 02:31:28 · update #4
See a lawyer. Take notes of what is happening. Sounds like you are doing a good job. At 10 years old she cannot be expected to look after herself. And going to the bus stop herself???? Safety springs to mind what is this stupid cow thinking. She is not fit to look after the child start the ball rolling straightaway. At the end of the day her welfare and safety come first not the mothers fellings.
2007-08-20 04:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by emma157 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are between a rock and a hard place. Yes it may seem like you and your boyfriend should have the child. However, the law doesn't say a mom has to go to a ball game or conferences or any of that. If the child is in any danger, then and only then will a court take a child from a primary parent. It would help your cause if you were married. You will need to document everything. My friend had to go through all this and more. The mother of her step daughter was arrested for DUI several times and eventually landed in jail. This wasn't enough. They had to have documentation that the mother's behavior and inability to pay child support directly affected the child and still took over a year to get sole custody.
So from what you have stated, I don't think you could get the mother out of the picture. But with documentation of all interactions, and if the child wants it, maybe the primary custody could be rearranged.
2007-08-20 03:28:19 · answer #2 · answered by becca 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing is if she leaves her mothers home the 3 yr old will be left alone to fend for herself. If the mum is as bad as you say she is the 3 yr old needs someone to look after them.
At 10 it's a good idea to get them to start doing things for themselves but if you have doubts seek custody. Make sure you document everything in a diary.
2007-08-20 01:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are lying!!! If the 3 yr old was being left alone that long you wouldnt be asking this question on yahoo. A 3 yr old can not fend for themselves for 16 hours and if they were they would be sick and the state would be involved. I take naps when my kids nap and that would be around the time kids get out of school. So what her mom sleeps in in the morning and takes a nap in the afternoon she probably needs it. Hell with the work schedule you say she has she wouldnt even be home when the child get out of school. You need to leave her alone. You dont know if she is lazy or just exhausted cause she works so much. She is trying to do the best for her child and the child is NOT yours so you need to stay out. It is NOT abuse in any way. I got myself up and ready for school from about 2nd grade. A 6 yr old can get up to a alarm and get their clothes. My 4 yr old does that on her own and she doesnt have anywhere she has to be. 10 years old is DEFINITELY old enough to get themselves up and dressed and off to school. The schools provide a breakfast for the students and the mother shouldn't have to get up and "make" breakfast when the child can eat at school which is usually healthier because they have to follow health requirements set by the state. 5th Grade I know she can count therefore can set a alarm clock. Leave that mother be. Its not your child its your bf's. Not all parents go to games or conferences. Mine never went to anything school related. Big deal most kids prefer not to. With your attitude towards the situation I would tell my child they wouldnt be around you that much to. You really need to back off. This is NO grounds for anything especially not trying to take the child out of the home.
2007-08-20 01:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by Cowgirl 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
A lot of people use the kids to get back at the other parent or to get money. If these are not the case and he is a good father than YES why not. He is the father, who better to raise her than him.
If you want my real opinion she needs to quit going to school and take care of business at home. We all had our shot at going to school but if you didn’t take it when you should have, and you have kids, your shot at school has past and it should wait.
The time she has needs to be dedicated to the kids. She is being selfish an putting herself before her child; which is not being a good parent.
I took custody of my child and told the X I would continue paying child support. She then agreed. It was about money for her. Of course after 6 months of him living with me I took her to court and was granted custody officially. If you can get her to give up custody to the father voluntarily it would be easier. Frankly the winner is the one willing to pay laywers.
If he can't get her to voliutarily give custody he needs to keep taking her to court till he wins.
2007-08-20 01:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
listen she is not getting out of work that late, she can go to sleep at 12 and still get 7 hours of sleep, i used to get out at 2 a.m. (i was bar-tending and my husband would stay with our 6 yr. old at the time ) and i would sleep a "nap" get up at 7: 45 a.m. take him to school and the come back home and sleep for another 2-3 hours and pick him at 1:30 p.m. , if i did it the age of 20 I'm sure she can to.
2007-08-20 08:18:21 · answer #6 · answered by MADELIN A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thinking the age of the newborn, mom gets custody of the newborn,yet whilst mom helps and the court docket helps newborn could be under the care of the father additionally. in spite of the shown fact that consulting a criminal expert is counseled
2016-10-02 22:24:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of past does your boyfriend have ? Does he have a jail record ? Stay out of it. He's your boyfriend, and you have no business in their business. I don't like the part about her sleeping all the time. But, if something has to be done, because she's neglecting the little girl, then he needs to grow a set and do something himself. (Do you work ?) You could be the girlfriend-of-the-month for all we know ! I agree. She sleeps too much.(O.K......I read your edited comments. Why is she on Lunesta ? What a wasted life. Congratulations on many years together. Time to get married, already. Lots of marriages don't last that long !)
2007-08-20 00:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
She sounds like a selfish person. I know someone just like her - my hubby's ex. I think she only acts this way because she knows dad will jump in and take care of her responsibilities. My hubby and I went through this. However, it did get to the point where my husband told the mom maybe his daughter should live with us instead. Her mom flipped out. She couldnt beleive that he would even suggest that she was lacking in her duties. Now, she gives him a hard time to see his daughter. They are currently giong through court becaues she wants full custody. Sadly, she is making their daughter tell lies against her daddy. They have another court date coming up.
So be careful with the approach to this woman. She could possibly be the same and destroying a relationship between you, husband, and (step)daughter.
2007-08-20 00:52:11 · answer #9 · answered by ★Banäna . Nightmärẹ★™ 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
File for Custody, this Mom is a sorry excuse for bringing a Child in this World. The only reason she wants the Child,in my Opinion, is for the extra Money.
Talk to the Child though before you do. I would say" How would you feel in living w/Daddy all the time?"
After you get Custody file for Child-Support.
Get a good Attorney and keep track on when you have Girl and for how long.This will help the Attorney to put a case against her.
If you can't afford a Lawyer most States have Legal-Aid.
2007-08-20 00:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by devilish1965 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋